Satya – Revisited: Her twisted mind

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In yoga, as part of the Yamas and Niyamas, you will learn of Satya, or “truth”. However, as it seems all in Yoga are hedonistic and live in only their “Id” ego construct, they will also do whatever they can to escape blame and fault.  –

“The id acts according to the “pleasure principle”, seeking to avoid pain or unpleasure (not ‘displeasure’) aroused by increases in instinctual tension.”

An Antisocial Personality disorder will do ANYTHING to defend their REPUTATION, including moving to a new city and convincing people of the “NEW ME”, even Playing for pity is a tool used –

Subtypes Of Antisocial Behavior: Theodore Milton identified five subtypes for antisocial behavior; however, someone with Antisocial Personality Disorder may experience none or many of these subtypes:

  1. Malevolent Antisocial – includes paranoid, sadistic traits.
  2. Covetous Antisocial – variation of the pure pattern wherein the individual feels that life has been excessively unfair.
  3. Risk-Taking Antisocial – includes histrionic traits.
  4. Reputation-Defending Antisocial – includes narcissistic traits.
  5. Nomadic Antisocial – includes schizoidavoidant features.

Antisocial Personality Disorders also NEVER APOLOGIZE.
Ania Ziolkowska Never apologized unless she was TOLD TO.

Ania Ziolkowksa has completed Yoga Teacher Training and has even been to India.
These are from Ania Ziolkowska to myself (the originals can be provided upon request)

You can see where Ania Ziolkowska attempts to defend her reputation –

On Feb 11, 2011, at 12:03, Anna Ziolkowska <annaziolko1@gmail.com> wrote:

The first statement is about as ego filled as can be. the remainder is just you going to your friends again, and not being able to think for yourself. and what do you think you are doing letting people read personal emails between us? the emails are meant for your eyes only.
(Author’s note: remember that sociopaths work to keep their abuses and manipulations PRIVATE.)

Ania Ziolkowska Destroys and runs. Here she is dancing at Riou, In queens, at Psychill Psysundays. Ania Ziolkowska Knocked out my teeth, then

Ania Ziolkowska Destroys and runs. Here she is dancing at Riou, In queens, at Psychill Psysundays.
Ania Ziolkowska Knocked out my teeth, then “punished” herself by jumping on another dick, and partying around New York City.

Ania Ziolkowska will say, later, in the emails below, that she did, in fact, apologize.

Below is the supposed apology from Ania Ziolkowska –

On Nov 29, 2010, at 12:03, Anna Ziolkowska <annaziolko1@gmail.com> wrote:

I had a couple of insights at the meditation. Both concerned my behavior in relationships with others. The first was in relation to my relationship with Charles, the second, with my parents. I realized that I was certainly not faultless no …matter what my perceptions at the time were. When I was a small child, I thought I was faultless and I could not understand how I could have been punished for anything. Instead of seeing how I could be making my parents life less stressful, I only saw the pain that was being caused to me. I could not see them as human beings with feelings themselves. I figured that as parents who demanded utmost respect and authority, they must have been on the path themselves. Now as an adult myself, I see that that was not necessarily the case. The other insight concerned my relationship with Charles. I was bitter that he did not give me the love and affection that I expected from a relationship, and so I acted out. I did not have he skill of communication. I was immature. I pushed him further away.

As for my relationship with you, I think it began similarly with me continuing this with you. I had certain expectations of what a relationship should be like, and how the perfect partner should behave, that I did not see my own faults. For years this trend continued till I finally began to find my own way thru meditation and yoga. But you might not be ready to allow me to change. You still remember me as this little brat who would throw fits when she didn’t get her way, and feel I need to pay for this before I am allowed to move forward into happiness. Perhaps you feel that for years I made your life miserable, and now do not deserve to be happy. I can understand where you would be coming from especially in light of the most recent events of drama in our lives. Know that I have always done and am continuing to do the best that I can. I am sure that I have hurt many along the way including you as I was coming from a place of pain myself. I am sorry for hurting you.

Sent from Ania’s iPad

It may seem like an “apology”, however, notice the date? Notice the date of the messages that preceded it?
Ania Ziolkowska’s supposed apology was just another act, one she had played so many times before, that I fell for so many times, but was no longer going to fall for ever again.

Basically, Ania Ziolkowska has, though she refuses to realize this, DESCRIBED HERSELF AS A SOCIOPATH –

“Ultimately, the sociopath typically emotionally destroys those who are close to him or her, but the sociopath destroys them in a way consistent with their unique approach to others: They take them out like your average person kills off characters in a video game. Those in the wake of the sociopath suffer because they have the liability sociopaths don’t: actual human feelings that stem from a deep sense of social obligations to others, a moral anchor that is supposed to be part and parcel of having relationships.

The sense of entitlement that comes with sociopathy is astonishing to those who abide by the social laws and conventions of our culture. Where does the entitlement come from? It stems from an underlying sense of rage. Sociopaths feel deeply angry and resentful underneath their often-charming exterior, and this rage fuels their sense that they have the right to act out in whichever way they happen to choose at the time. Everything is up for grabs with sociopaths and nothing is off limits.

In relationships, sociopaths are the epitome of Machiavellian creatures. If they were astrological signs, they would be Geminis, with two distinct ‘selfs’ at work. They are duplicity incarnate, with a polished self shown to the world and a covert, hidden self that has a rigid and calculating agenda: assume the highest level of the social hierarchy and win, win, win. It is often the kindest and most trusting individuals who suffer the most at the hands of sociopaths, and the healing process for these individuals continues long after the relationship has ended. Those in the wake of the sociopath are often left wondering, What happened to me? Why does this one individual have such a powerful effect on me?”

Basically, Ania Ziolkowska is a sociopath, pretending to be a yogi.
And she, like all blinded by the new age, want’s a free pass.

Ania Ziolkowska refuses to see there are steps to apology, that, after years of abuse, expect to just say “sorry”, and it all brushes under the carpet, expect it all to suddenly change to what SHE wants.

See, that supposed apology may seem like an apology on the SURFACE, however what it really is, is just another sociopathic manipulation. It’s a way for her to seem as though she made an effort, when no effort was made at all.

It’s the average narcissistic sociopath manipulation, blurring the lines, so that she seems the victim.

Ania Ziolkowska has just found a new mask to don, a new part to play.

That should have been made clear, due to the fact the “apology” came in 2010, and the correspondence that preceded it, came in 2011.

That mask fell away quickly, because it was apparent to her that I wasn’t falling or it.

It should be obvious, no change was made at all.

Also, that apology is no apology at all, and her supposed apology to ME is an AFTER THOUGHT.

Narcissists, especially female narcissists, deserves oscars for their performances. They are relentless actors, and masters of crocodile tears. They'll put on a show, IF they ever apologize (rarely), but will somehow make that apology all about themselves.

Narcissists, especially female narcissists, deserve oscars for their performances.
They are relentless actors, and masters of crocodile tears.

Ania Ziolkowska is one of the only people on the planet that can make apologizing to some ELSE all about HER.

Narcissists, especially female narcissists, deserve Oscars for their performances.

They are relentless actors, and masters of crocodile tears.

They’ll put on a show, IF they ever apologize (rarely), but will somehow make that apology all about themselves.

And they’ll cry. Especially the females. They’ll cry, make you feel uncomfortable, and manipulate you, and then go right back to acting the same way they acted before.

Apology has three stages:

An acknowledgment that admits what you’ve done (and without being asked, or told, you must apologize), restitution (making up for what you’ve done), and EFFORT (ensuring you do not repeat that action, or SIMILAR actions).

A narcissist will play with this.

They will put on the show to manipulate you into forgiving them, they’ll expect to SKIP that restitution step, and they’ll play with the effort part, gaslighting you into believing they didn’t do the SAME EXACT thing, so how can they be at fault when they knowingly do something similar, AGAIN?

Now begins the display of her sociopathic delusions, Do not believe the flattery she so freely lavishes about. It’s another manipulation I refused to fall for

Ania Ziolkowska, Still married to me, no legal separation, committing adultery with Chris M Sevanick / Chris Exeris

Ania Ziolkowska / Ania Anicca , Still married to me, no legal separation, committing adultery with Chris M Sevanick / Chris Exeris

On Jan 31, 2011, at 5:14, Ania Ziolkowska <annaziolko1@gmail.com> wrote:

I read your journals because I was in love with you. I wanted to know everything about how brilliant you were. I was in awe of you. I am sorry this hurt you, as that was not my intention. I called Ross because I wanted a guys perspective, but also from someone who loved you because I wanted to give you the benefit of doubt. I wanted to understand you because I loved you. Same with the situation with your mom. She loves you and will always love you no matter what. I felt safe sharing my worries with her and did so from the perspective of someone who also loved you. I never cheated on you with Long. There was nothing at all physical that happened between us. As for Joel and Liz, yes I lied a lot. I am sorry. I did not mean to hurt you. I respect you and was and am remorseful. With time my interests began to change, and I made friends. I never said for you not to go to yoga or hooping with me. I do not like for anyone to be disrespected. Not me, not you, not my friends, not my family, not my coworkers. No one. I did not call your job and tell them you were suicidal. At yogaville, I told you not to visit because I was studying. You came and brought Shiro. You sat in the rain and made people worry for me thru your emails and behavior. I wasn’t talking to people about you. You sent the emails. You got people talking. I can only take so much. Eventually my emotions get the best of me and I begin to fall apart and then I finally talk for support, but not out of hate. You came to my job and the police came there. I talked about you at work as little as possible. Always out of love not hate. I do not want anyone to think you are a horrible person. I do not want to be in the middle of hate between anyone. I do not want to be around people that hate you.

Sent from Ania’s iPad

Pawel Tulin & Ania Ziolkowska Ania Anicca Pawel lied to me and stated he did not know them - See the Psytrance Cults Blog - Not realizing I already knew he was lying

Pawel Tulin & Ania Ziolkowska
Pawel lied to me and stated he did not know them – See the Psytrance Cults Blog

NO. Ania, like every sociopath, read my journals to learn how to pick me apart, control, and manipulate me. I was respectful enough to never read her journals, at least until after she left, and intentionally left them behind. Her leaving her journals behind, was like the protagonist in “Gone Girl”, another way to manipulate and still come off as the victim.

On Jan 31, 2011, at 3:50, Hector Barrientos-Bullcok <********@gmail.com> wrote:

Early 2001 you go through my things in my room and read things that are personal to me without permission from me. Sometime in 2002 you call Ross to ask him some personal questions concerning me instead of speaking with me about it like a rational person. Sometime in 2003, I let you go to the club with Long, Completely trusting you, and I find out after that you have a crush on your co-worker, Long. While that’s happening you tell others I am the problem, it’s all my fault. It’s all about you. Sometime in 2004, we meet Joel and Liz and YOU decide you want to have a lesbian experience with Liz. I point out that this is not a good idea and you try to go through with it anyway, making a further mess of our relationship. You LIE to me for a month about everything that occurred during this incident, including being in touch with Liz for that time. You establish at that time you are capable of lying without remorse and that you have absolutely no respect for me in any way. Multiple incidents after this, but sometime in 2005 you decide to talk to my mother about how I am supposedly a horrible person, while not realizing she has witnessed how horrible a person you are and how much patience I have had with you. Again, multiple incidents, but sometime in 2010 you choose to meet your new friends, you create incidents that have no reason to be as problematic as you make them but you choose to anyway, further illustrating your disrespect of me. Incident occurs over the summer after a canoeing trip with Brandon, Katie, and Angelina wherein you disrespect me, friends that are doing you a favor AND saving you money, then you punctuate that by further disrespecting me due to a mistake YOU made on the way home. You did again what you did with Joel and Liz, making a mistake, attempting to make me look at fault for your mistake, and then using the pity caused by that align yourself with people I initially took the initiative in meeting. Not able to make friends on your own HONESTLY, but able to steal the ones I make for US, DISHONESTLY. Again you messed up and ran to SOMEONE ELSE. 2010, you state you are not saying negative things about me, only for me to find out you are, then I demand a public apology, as I was sick of you embarrassing me publicly and you renege of that and also talk to people you told me you were not talking to. You go to marriage counseling, make an agreement, and then violate it immediately. You align yourself with someone I have had to hear from for years about how much you and his girlfriend look alike and had just recently confirmed want to be swingers. You call a friend in LA and destroy the vacation I had prepared for myself, my vacation from you, so I could get MY head sorted out, and then force me to go to PEX with you. You lose my apartment for me, you call my job and tell them I am suicidal, you create so much negativity I am pushed to my wits end and I have done nothing, NOTHING to deserve any of this treatment, whether it be the past years I have been more than patient with you, or whether it be the last few months. You tell your parents I have done things I have not done, you tell your friends a warped version of events (And then send me a BULLSHIT email 2 DAYS AGO about how it’s all perception. Facts are facts, and perception does not color facts.) You have an intimate encounter at PEX, in an environment any idiot could see was sexually charged, and then act as though I am just too thin skinned and I just need to get over it. You asked me questions in some previous emails?

Since you refuse to see reality as it is I will say this: YOU are too thin skinned. Get over it.

  • Couldn’t forget THIS one. It’s where Ania Ziolkowsia admits to trying to cheat on me with Elizabeth Stephens. She also lies about how she speaks about people, as you already know, and can see in the emails before this. Ania Ziolkowska is not capable of saying ONE HONEST THING.
    By the time Ania Ziolkowska had written that email, she had had both a lesbian experience and threesome experience, adulterously, with Eva Annika Backstrom, and Uzi Grindler (More will come on those two, later), and had already begun her adulterous relationship with Chris Exeris (Christopher Michael Sevanick)

Also, Ania Ziolkowska would always tell me

“You are too thin skinned.”

And, again, Ania Ziolkowska is LYING about calling my Job.
Denise Kane is willing to give a statement to this. Denise Kane was MY BOSS THAT ANIA CALLED AND TOLD I WAS SUICIDAL, which I WAS NOT AT THAT TIME. That came after all this. Ania Ziolkowska lies about not talking about me.

Email from Simon Padgham about her talking to him about divorce, but above she says she talked to NO ONE in YOGAVILLE about me –

Begin forwarded message:

From: Simon Padgham <simon@simonpadgham.com>

Date: September 6, 2010 10:03:22 AM EDT

To: annaziolko1@gmail.com

Subject: Hey Ania

Hi Ania,

How are you doing? I’m sorry that I didn’t get to say goodbye to you before you left Yogaville but I thought you were staying on for a few days. Anna and I came back late on Sunday and you’d already gone! So how are you doing? I hope you’ve managed to make all those big changes in your life that you were planning to do and things have been working out for you. Its always very hard to make such big changes and have the courage to walk away from things that may provide security, familiarity or safety but if you know deep down that they don’t serve you or that you don’t want them you have to do what is necessary to move on, grow and change. Otherwise you’re just going to stress yourself out massively, make yourself ill and be generally unhappy. Its hard to thrive, be at your best and reach your potential if you are working against yourself and compromising yourself I find. Still what you were planning to do requires courage, support and having to face many of fears. Have you talked to Anna at all? She has done what she intended to do and, despite continual stresses and problems, seems to be moving in the right direction for her. Maybe you should drop her a line? So are you going to come back here? There is lots to do and plenty of need for a lady of your talents! Michael mentioned that he had invited you back if you needed to return. Well, life here at Yogaville has been pretty good. The first few days after all you guys left was very strange for me. I felt pretty lonely and a bit down……but then so did Michael so I’m guessing that was a pretty normal thing to feel, especially after such an eventful and emotional month. I saw Satya today and she likened a place to a morgue last week!! So funny coming from her! I was quite busy and involved last week with the Taiwanese group which provided a nice distraction and kept me occupied. It was quite nice to sit in on their lectures and join them for morning practice. This week I have been doing the Structural Yoga Therapy course with Mukunda Stiles, which has been quite entertaining and eye opening. I have to admit I find all the A&P stuff very dry and I do tend to switch off when he does diagnostics and starts looking at people’s knees! He does talk a lot about Ayurveda and the Sutras though, which is more my thing. We finished the course on Friday and I then went to Charlottesville to pick up a rental car. I just want to be able to get about, go shopping and eat some different food every know and then. I am finding that I really need to eat some animal protein as I am feeling a bit weak and seem to be constantly hungry. My Ayurvedic doctor has told me to get some meat at all costs as soon as I can. I had thought about trying to snare the squirrels or deer hear but I don’t think that would go down too well! Only kidding! I’m going to keep the car for couple of weeks so Michael and I are planning a trip away for 4 or 5 days to the Outer Banks in NC. He loves it there and knows the place inside out so I’m happy to drive if he navigates and plans everything. Apparently he knows this great place to get freshly caught Yellow Fin tuna, which is supposed to be sublime. Sounds good to me. I imagine we’ll go next week or the week after, certainly in Sept and before the split TT starts…….which we are both involved in staffing for Swami Dyananda. The weather here is so much nicer now. The intense humidity and heat has gone and has been replaced with those lovely cool air. Its still beautifully sunny and hot but just no humidity. Its perfect for hiking and cycling, which I’ve been doing a lot of lately. Michael and I are off out this afternoon I think. He knows all the great places around here so I’m making use of his knowledge whilst I can before he leaves in early October! So I’d better get a move on an get ready. I’ve laundry and some major room cleaning to do before lunch. Anyway, you take care Ania. Namaste, Simon

One lie after the next.

Notice the date of THIS email and the dates of the others?

Notice how Ania Ziolkowska thought she could manipulate me even AFTER I already had all the facts?

That’s also a trait of AntiSocial Personality Disorder.

Even after her Yoga Teacher Training, Ania Ziolkowska still kept lying.

Ania Ziolkowska was violent with me.

Ania Ziolkowska had me sit her on a kitchen counter, so we could, I thought, TALK, and then proceeded to head butte me in the mouth, knocking out my front teeth, as she leaned back and smiled at her work.

And I never hit Ania Ziolkowksa.

I never touched her.

Ania Ziolkowska would begin physical fights, then, as I RESTRAINED her, she would say –

“I’ll call the police. You’re black and I’m a girl.”

Ania Ziolkowska is an Aries, by the Zodiac –

Ania Ziolkowska Ania Anicca is an Aries, by her birthday, which just happens to be April 1, 1976

Ania Ziolkowska is an Aries, by her birthday, which just happens to be April 1, 1976

(Ania Ziolkowska / Ania Anicca has a terrible habit of having photos taken of her while she is high on Ecstasy)

I NEVER cheated on Ania Ziolkowska / Ania Anicca , while it is obvious SHE commits adultery, FREELY Again, high on E, at the Third Eye Rave, in Washington, DC, January 26, 2012

I NEVER cheated on Ania Ziolkowska / Ania Anicca , while it is obvious SHE commits adultery, FREELY
Again, high on E, at the Third Eye Rave, in Washington, DC, January 26, 2012

I NEVER cheated on Ania Ziolkowska / Ania Anicca , while it is obvious SHE commits adultery, FREELY Again, high on E, at the Third Eye Rave, in Washington, DC, January 26, 2012

I NEVER cheated on Ania Ziolkowska / Ania Anicca , while it is obvious SHE commits adultery, FREELY
Again, high on E, at the Third Eye Rave, in Washington, DC, January 26, 2012

DSC00083

Ania Ziolkowska / Ania Anicca high on MDMA infecting our Siamese, Shiro
MDMA comes out through your pores and infects cats through their pores.

DSC00080

Ania Ziolkowska / Ania Anicca high on MDMA infecting our Siamese, Shiro
MDMA comes out through your pores and infects cats through their pores.

DSC00074

Eva Annika Backstrom high on MDMA

DSC00072

Eva Annika Backstrom high on MDMA

DSC00060 (1)

Eva Annika Backstrom high on MDMA

DSC00070

Annika Backstrom high on MDMA

Ania on MDMA, Infecting our cat, Shiro

Ania Ziolkowska / Ania Anicca high on MDMA infecting our Siamese, Shiro
MDMA comes out through your pores and infects cats through their pores.

DSC00087

Ania Ziolkowska / Ania Anicca thinks she’s a model when she’s high on MDMA

DSC00088

Ania Ziolkowska / Ania Anicca thinks she’s a model when she’s high on MDMA

DSC00092

Ania Ziolkowska / Ania Anicca thinks she’s a model when she’s high on MDMA

Below is Ania Plotting with her mother, while lying to me. You will have to run the text through google translate, as they thought I couldn’t translate the polish –

From: Gosia Ziolkowska <gosiaziolkowska@yahoo.com>

Date: August 26, 2010 4:54:31 PM EDT

To: Ania <annaziolko1@gmail.com>

Subject: Re: rozne

If you are both responsible for lease payment, if you leave and stop paying your share, he will have to pick up your share. If he does not and the apartament management does not receive the full monthly payment, they will make him move out. If he picks up your share and pays the full montly rent , he will stay and later if you decide to divorce, I am sure he will make you return the money, but it will be money you owe him and it will not break yur credit record. what if you write a statement and send it with registered mail and keep track of delivery and keep the original – a statement to the apartament management that you are not able to continue staying in the apartament for personal resons . The besst reason is if you have legal paper like restraining order or seperation papers. Please check what needs to be done, So many couples split, break lease etc , it has to be a way out. —

On Thu, 8/26/10, Ania<annaziolko1@gmail.com> wrote:

From: Ania <annaziolko1@gmail.com>

Subject: Re: rozne

To: “Gosia Ziolkowska” <gosiaziolkowska@yahoo.com>

Date: Thursday, August 26, 2010, 3:17 PM

Wrzystko ok. Byłam w kinie z Kasią.  Dzięki za troskę. Zadzwonie jutro.

On Aug 26, 2010, at 2:29 PM, Gosia Ziolkowska <gosiaziolkowska@yahoo.com> wrote:

jestesmy w domu czy mozesz zadzwonic na Mokotow Caly czas o tobie myslimy i rozmawiamy Zadzwon to Victorii. Ona mi powiedziala tydzien temu zebyscie dzwonily do niej jak problem. Kasia ma komorke Victorii i rowniez Hanki —

On Mon, 8/23/10, Ania<aniazmail@gmail.com> wrote:

From: Ania <annaziolko1@gmail.com>

Subject: Re: rozne

To: “Gosia Ziolkowska” <gosiaziolkowska@yahoo.com>

Date: Monday, August 23, 2010, 5:08 PM

Wrzyystko ok. Jestem w pracy.  rozmawiam z Grzesiem.

On Aug 23, 2010, at 4:15 PM, Gosia Ziolkowska <gosiaziolkowska@yahoo.com> wrote:

Aniu, co slychac, gdzie mieszkasz czy bylas w pracy czy wszystko w porzadku wrocilismy wlasnie do domu —

On Sun, 8/22/10, Ania<annaziolko1@gmail.com> wrote:

From: Ania <aniazmail@gmail.com>

Subject: Re: rozne

To: “Gosia Ziolkowska” <gosiaziolkowska@yahoo.com>

Date: Sunday, August 22, 2010, 6:22 PM

Nie martw się. Będzie ok.

On Aug 22, 2010, at 5:57 PM, Gosia Ziolkowska <gosiaziolkowska@yahoo.com> wrote: —

On Sun, 8/22/10, Gosia Ziolkowska<gosiaziolkowska@yahoo.com>wrote:

From: Gosia Ziolkowska <gosiaziolkowska@yahoo.com>

Subject: rozne

To: annaziolko1@gmail.com

Date: Sunday, August 22, 2010, 5:51 PM

pisze tylko po polsku, bo moze on ma dostep do twojej poczty szukalam na google i jest duzo informacj napisz na google how to get restraining order in virginia i pisze jaka jest procedura jakie sa rodzaje orders na przyklad stalking/ abuse etc i jakie sa forms, gdzie to sie starac. dlatego powiedzialam ci zeby isc do shelter dla kobiet bo oni tam codziennie pomagaja i wiedza co zrobic i jak pomoc kobiecie nie ma co sie obrazac , bo sa ksiazki i filmy, ze to sie zdarza i kobieta ktora sie wstydzi isc nie dostanie pomocy. tu te services sa dobrze zorganizowane. Jesli planujesz Aniu wyjazd gdzie indziej tak jak do Polski , to pamietaj ,ze twoje 4 tygodnie podybu na obozie nic nie pomogly. trzeba najpierw zaczac cos robic , zeby czas na ciebie pracowal. jesli twoja decyzja jest wystapic o seperacje to zrob to przed wyjazdem. co do mieszkania to nie mam pojecia jak to zrobic i to trzeba sie dowiedziec. pozdrawiam bardzo sie o ciebie martwie

Ania Ziolkowska made such a mess of THIS one, I’ll let YOU figure it out, however, notice the cognitive dissonance, attempts at manipulation, the backtracking, and the “I can do it to you, but you can’t do it to me” mindset that is indicative of Antisocial and Narcissistic personality disorders.
And don’t be fooled by the flattery she offers. They do this in further attempts to manipulate their prey.

———- Forwarded message ———-

From: Ania Ziolkowska <annaziolko69@gmail.com>
Date: Fri, Feb 11, 2011 at 1:56 PM
Subject: Re: relationship
To: HVBB Gmail <*******@gmail.com>

How is not cheating advers to trying to cheat? Both are not cheating. The only diff is that in one you accuse me of not doing something which I didn’t do. Were both agreeing that I didn’t cheat.

On Feb 11, 2011, at 19:22, HVBB Gmail <*********@gmail.com> wrote:

You are so self important you can’t even read what’s in front of you. I can put your response against the message you are responding to and it shows you blatantly tried to confuse the point, something you always do verbally, in writing this time. Why don’t you re-read the original message and see who you are REALLY calling a liar? Correct, I didn’t cheat, which is the adverse of you trying to many times. I compared you to me, and showed I was faithful while you were always disrespectful and self absorbed with no regard for anyone but you, but you state I am the one in search of a potty party for stating the facts? See how that works? See, you made yourself self important. You continue to make yourself self important and you also neglect to admit to facts you already admitted. Kirsten, Molly, Joel, Liz, Flight, and even Annika and Uzi all know you headbutted me in the mouth. You ADMITTED IT TO ANNIKA AND UZI. All the others listed were there when you did it.

This is another example of you attempting to edit facts.

Simple fact- the tooth was pushed down due to you headbutting me in the mouth, an action you never apologized for and smiled after you did it.

There is an X-ray to prove this.

This cause a root canal to have to occur. You made my perfectly straight teeth crooked. You went to another dentist to ask if he could knock it back up an straighten it.

YOU DID THiS ON YOUR OWN TO YOUR DENTIST.

The now dead tooth with a hole in it came out shortly after.

Those are the facts so get them straight.

I would still have a tooth of you had never headbutted me in the first place.

Not only did you do that and there are witnesses and evidence, but YOU created evidence by consulting more doctors.

Talk about trying to run away from your responsibilities….

On Feb 11, 2011, at 13:06, Anna Ziolkowska <aniazmail@gmail.com> wrote:

according to you insanity is saying you didnt cheat when you didnt cheat.

and you are calling me insane? and dont even try to say that i called pablo a liar. i do not need to go to him for anything.

the three of us as well as the owner of the restaurant know the truth. you are just fishing for pitty once again. get a backbone.

learn to rely on your own strength rather than building your house on other peoples weakneses. and you are the only one who thinks he is crazy and seems obsessed with proving to others that you are not. you never forced me to do anything, not even admitting to lying.

I didnt have to admit to anything, nor did i need to apologize, which i did both. i am not looking for you to accept my apology. you can only make peace with your own self.

On Fri, Feb 11, 2011 at 6:54 PM, HVBB Gmail <********@gmail.com> wrote:

And in response to the cheating, you just sent an email last week that admitted ti how selfish you were concerning Joel and Liz, but attempt to retract that in this email?

Yes, that is insanity.

On Feb 11, 2011, at 12:43, Anna Ziolkowska <annaziolko1@gmail.com> wrote:

Oh, and you don’t lie?????

Do not talk to me about lying, till you don’t yourself…

At least I admit to lying when I do and recognize it as a fault that I am working on. You on the other hand call me and as for me to lie for you, but then criticize me for lying.

Yes, i have lied to you for selfish reasons, but not with the intention of hurting you.

I have already admited to this, so this is not major discovery on your part.

As for your teeth, all I can say that Pablo was there, so he knows exectly what happened.

You think that just because you tell everyone something, that makes it so?

You and I both know the truth. You are wondering perhaps why you can’t find a job, and why you have other problems???

Karma.

TRIED to cheat on you?????

Get real!

On Fri, Feb 11, 2011 at 6:36 PM, HVBB Gmail <********@gmail.com> wrote:

Again you don’t see reality for what it is.

That is psychosis.

You went to marriage counseling and then backtracked on your agreement – FACT.

You lied and have admitted to lying (you really should read your previous emails before writing these responses or at least improve your memory, which is hard to do being a compulsive liar) – FACT

YOU left to Poland, lying the entire time before going and while there-FACT, proven by YOUR OWN WRITING

You were violent to me, knocking out my teeth-FACT

You tried to cheat several times and constantly pushed me away-WITNESSED FACTS.

You really have walked over the edge when you compose a message such the one you just did while ignoring even THOSE SIMPLE FACTS and there are SO MANY MORE that are verifiable and proveable. Maybe you should read this, then re-read what you wrote and then MAYBE you might see reality for what it is.

On Feb 11, 2011, at 12:26, Anna Ziolkowska <annaziolko1@gmail.com> wrote:

> Why do you speak as though I can do something to salvage our relationship. You are the one who has called me a liar and has sent me away with your words.

I threw my things out of the apartment, and have locked me out on multiple occasions, not the other way around.

This shows that you dont want me as a wife. I was too deaf to hear it.

You contacted my friends family and coworkers to tell them what a terrible person I was according to you, so you do not want me as a wife.

So there is not me coming back to you. Coming back on what terms?

You are the one who doesnt want me. It is not my fault that i am not there right now. I was finally respecting your words.

———- Forwarded message ———-

From: Hector Barrientos-Bullcok <********@gmail.com>

Date: Wed, Mar 16, 2011 at 7:46 AM

Subject: Fwd: relationship

To: anniqq@gmail.com, grandbleu@gmail.com, kandykidd13@gmail.com

The 3 of you know the incident in question but apparently the person who actually did it lives in psychosis. So, does that mean that all that crap that happened years ago, the reason we ever met Kirsten in the 1st place, suddenly didn’t happen?

Go figure.

———- Forwarded message ———-

From: Ania <annaziolko1@gmail.com>

Date: Fri, Feb 11, 2011 at 2:40 PM

Subject: Re: relationship

To: HVBB Gmail <********@gmail.com>

You are attacking my emotional stability and memory by saying I tried to cheat?

What else did I TRY to do???

If I had WANTED to cheat on you, I would have.

You are really fishing for drama and sympathy.

Is your addiction to drama this intense that you would rather not have a wife than a made up dramatic relationship?

Sent from Ania’s iPad

On Feb 11, 2011, at 20:17, HVBB Gmail <hvbbmail@gmail.com> wrote:

Wrong again.

You made an effort that I never did and then you try to say I was the one that pushed YOU away when you tried to cheat LONG before I ever got sour. Your treatment of me AND your attempts to cheat are what MADE me sour in the first place.

Cause and effect.

You refuse to acknowledge basic logic and physics.

But that is no surprise.

Logic comes from emotion.

The fact you cannot fathom logic shows your lack of emotion.

To use a fictional character, the vulcans are highly logical, but ALSO highly emotional.

They combat for emotional control all the time. Memory also comes from the emotional attachment one places on events and facts. This has been proven via study. You have a poor, actually horrible, memory. What does that say about grasp of emotional ability?

On Feb 11, 2011, at 13:56, Ania Ziolkowska <annaziolko1@gmail.com> wrote:

How is not cheating advers to trying to cheat? Both are not cheating. The only diff is that in one you accuse me of not doing something which I didn’t do. Were both agreeing that I didn’t cheat.

On Feb 11, 2011, at 19:22, HVBB Gmail <********@gmail.com> wrote:

You are so self important you can’t even read what’s in front of you.

I can put your response against the message you are responding to and it shows you blatantly tried to confuse the point, something you always do verbally, in writing this time.

Why don’t you re-read the original message and see who you are REALLY calling a liar?

Correct, I didn’t cheat, which is the adverse of you trying to many times.

I compared you to me, and showed I was faithful while you were always disrespectful and self absorbed with no regard for anyone but you, but you state I am the one in search of a potty party for stating the facts?

See how that works?

See, you made yourself self important. You continue to make yourself self important and you also neglect to admit to facts you already admitted.

Kirsten, Molly, Joel, Liz, Flight, and even Annika and Uzi all know you headbutted me in the mouth.

You ADMITTED IT TO ANNIKA AND UZI.

All the others listed were there when you did it.

This is another example of you attempting to edit facts.

Simple fact– the tooth was pushed down due to you headbutting me in the mouth, an action you never apologized for and smiled after you did it.

There is an X-ray to prove this.

This cause a root canal to have to occur. You made my perfectly straight teeth crooked.

You went to another dentist to ask if he could knock it back up an straighten it.

YOU DID THIS ON YOUR OWN TO YOUR DENTIST.

The now dead tooth with a hole in it came out shortly after.

Those are the facts so get them straight.

I would still have a tooth of you had never headbutted me in the first place.

Not only did you do that and there are witnesses and evidence, but YOU created evidence by consulting more doctors.

Talk about trying to run away from your responsibilities….

On Feb 11, 2011, at 13:06, Anna Ziolkowska <annaziolko1@gmail.com> wrote:

according to you insanity is saying you didnt cheat when you didnt cheat. and you are calling me insane?

and dont even try to say that i called pablo a liar. i do not need to go to him for anything. the three of us as well as the owner of the restaurant know the truth.

you are just fishing for pitty once again.

get a backbone.

learn to rely on your own strength rather than building your house on other peoples weakneses. and you are the only one who thinks he is crazy and seems obsessed with proving to others that you are not.

you never forced me to do anything, not even admitting to lying.

I didnt have to admit to anything, nor did i need to apologize, which i did both.

i am not looking for you to accept my apology. you can only make peace with your own self.

On Fri, Feb 11, 2011 at 6:54 PM, HVBB Gmail <********@gmail.com> wrote:

And in response to the cheating, you just sent an email last week that admitted to how selfish you were concerning Joel and Liz, but attempt to retract that in this email?

Yes, that is insanity.

On Feb 11, 2011, at 12:43, Anna Ziolkowska <annaziolko1@gmail.com> wrote:

Oh, and you don’t lie?????

Do not talk to me about lying, till you don’t yourself…

At least I admit to lying when I do and recognize it as a fault that I am working on. You on the other hand call me and as for me to lie for you, but then criticize me for lying.

Yes, i have lied to you for selfish reasons, but not with the intention of hurting you.

I have already admited to this, so this is not major discovery on your part.

As for your teeth, all I can say that Pablo was there, so he knows exectly what happened. You think that just because you tell everyone something, that makes it so? You and I both know the truth. You are wondering perhaps why you can’t find a job, and why you have other problems???

Karma. TRIED to cheat on you????? Get real!

On Fri, Feb 11, 2011 at 6:36 PM, HVBB Gmail <********@gmail.com> wrote:

Again you don’t see reality for what it is.

That is psychosis.

You went to marriage counseling and then backtracked on your agreement – FACT.

You lied and have admitted to lying (you really should read your previous emails before writing these responses or at least improve your memory, which is hard to do being a compulsive liar) – FACT

YOU left to Poland, lying the entire time before going and while there – FACT, proven BY YOUR OWN WRITING

You were violent to me, knocking out my teeth-FACT

You tried to cheat several times and constantly pushed me away – WITNESSED FACTS.

You really have walked over the edge when you compose a message such the one you just did while ignoring even THOSE SIMPLE FACTS and there are SO MANY MORE that are verifiable and proveable.

Maybe you should read this, then re-read what you wrote and then MAYBE you might see reality for what it is.

On Feb 11, 2011, at 12:26, Anna Ziolkowska <annaziolko1@gmail.com> wrote:

> Why do you speak as though I can do something to salvage our relationship. You are the one who has called me a liar and has sent me away with your words.

I threw my things out of the apartment, and have locked me out on multiple occasions, not the other way around.

This shows that you dont want me as a wife. I was too deaf to hear it.

You contacted my friends family and coworkers to tell them what a terrible person I was according to you, so you do not want me as a wife.

So there is not me coming back to you. Coming back on what terms?

You are the one who doesnt want me. It is not my fault that i am not there right now.

I was finally respecting your words. Why don’t you re-read what you wrote and then try that again?

Or, how about this:

On Feb 11, 2011, at 19:22, HVBB Gmail <********@gmail.com> wrote:

See, you made yourself self important.

You continue to make yourself self important and you also neglect to admit to facts you already admitted.

Kirsten, Molly, Joel, Liz, Flight, and even Annika and Uzi all know you headbutted me in the mouth.

You ADMITTED IT TO ANNIKA AND UZI.

All the others listed were there when you did it.

This is another example of you attempting to edit facts.

Simple fact– the tooth was pushed down due to you headbutting me in the mouth, an action you never apologized for and smiled after you did it. There is an X-ray to prove this.

This cause a root canal to have to occur. You made my perfectly straight teeth crooked.

You went to another dentist to ask if he could knock it back up an straighten it. YOU DID THIS ON YOUR OWN TO YOUR DENTIST.

The now dead tooth with a hole in it came out shortly after. Those are the facts so get them straight. I would still have a tooth of you had never headbutted me in the first place.

Not only did you do that and there. Are witnesses and evidence, but YOU created evidence by consulting more doctors. Talk about trying to run away from your responsibilities….

See how you attempted to ignore those facts to attempt to twist this to your favor as you always do?

they were listed, but because they were provable you ignored them and therefore decided to just attempt to backtrack onto the Pablo issue instead.

You will ignore this again, because it doesn’t support the reality you are attempting to create, but it’s provable none the less.

On Fri, Feb 11, 2011 at 5:28 PM, Ania <annaziolko1@gmail.com> wrote:

I am speaking for myself saying he was there when your tooth came out. I am not putting any words into his mouth, and therefore, am not speaking for him.

Sent from Ania’s iPad

On Feb 11, 2011, at 23:22, Hector Barrientos-Bullcok <********@gmail.com> wrote:

You spoke for him by attempting to say what he saw when.

That is speaking FOR someone.

Or should I cut and paste that message as well since you are too lazy to read over what you wrote before attempting to retract it.

On Fri, Feb 11, 2011 at 5:13 PM, Ania <annaziolko1@gmail.com> wrote:

I was not speaking for Pablo. I said he can speak for himself. I said he was there.

Sent from Ania’s iPad

On Feb 11, 2011, at 23:05, Hector Barrientos-Bullcok <********@gmail.com> wrote:

Funny, because I do believe you were trying to speak for Pablo, someone the does not like you.

On Fri, Feb 11, 2011 at 4:35 PM, Ania <annaziolko1@gmail.com> wrote:

Let people speak for themselves.

Sent from Ania’s iPad

On Feb 11, 2011, at 22:33, Hector Barrientos-Bullcok <********@gmail.com> wrote:

Funny how you had a lot to say when you thought you could turn it to pity for yourself but nothing to say when the facts state you are actually the one at fault, when you are actually the unstable one.

The only person wishing to live in DRAMA is YOU, as it always has been, witnessed by so many you separated yourself from them because you KNEW you shat where you ate.

Now you try to say they are all crazy, and they never saw you act the way you did.

This is called psychosis. You fall back on Pablo?

He despises you.

He has SEEN how you treated me and he thinks you are absolutely insane.

Do you really think he would LIE for you?

I sincerely doubt that, so stop trying to speak for Pablo.

On Fri, Feb 11, 2011 at 3:10 PM, HVBB Gmail <********@gmail.com> wrote:

Let’s talk about me needing to sleep and you following me from the bedroom to the loving room to the bedroom over and over again, turning on lights, pulling blankets off of me, yelling at me, kicking me, hitting me, all because I was trying to sleep.

Then, when I finally locked the bedroom door and said “let me go to sleep or I’m tossing your clothes out the window”, you kicked in the door.

Really?

That’s rational behaviour?

You did all of this at 218 E Mason, more than once, I may add.

So don’t you even think about attempting to point fingers or try to name call as to who the drama causer was.

It’s ALWAYS been YOU.

Always looking to bully or control.

And I guarantee you won’t have anything to say to this because there is no way you can even TRY to turn it around as you have attempted to do with everything else.

On Feb 11, 2011, at 14:43, Ania <annaziolko1@gmail.com> wrote:

I’m not even gonna bring up me getting locked out, and then you not letting me back in even though you had keys.

I’m referring to about a dozen or more situations where you locked the door and wouldn’t let me into our apartment.

Tell me those didn’t happen.

Go ahead.

You yourself said it takes me a while to figure things out. Well, here’s my delayed reaction. You wanted me out, now I am out.

Sent from Ania’s iPad

On Feb 11, 2011, at 20:20, HVBB Gmail <********@gmail.com> wrote:

Me me me me me me me.

You LEFT, remember?

Get it right.

You left both emotionally AND physically.

And if I remember correctly, you locked YOURSELF out and then ORDERED me, who was out with you, to let you back in.

You didn’t ask, you ORDERED.

That’s pretty disrespectful.

On Feb 11, 2011, at 13:58, Ania Ziolkowska <annaziolko1@gmail.com> wrote:

You said I was disrespectful. And what do you call locking your wife out of your joint apartment???!!!! Answer that!

On Feb 11, 2011, at 19:22, HVBB Gmail <********@gmail.com> wrote:

You are so self important you can’t even read what’s in front of you.

I can put your response against the message you are responding to and it shows you blatantly tried to confuse the point, something you always do verbally, in writing this time.

Why don’t you re-read the original message and see who you are REALLY calling a liar?

Correct, I didn’t cheat, which is the adverse of you trying to many times. I compared you to me, and showed I was faithful while you were always disrespectful and self absorbed with no regard for anyone but you, but you state I am the one in search of a potty party for stating the facts?

See how that works?

See, you made yourself self important. You continue to make yourself self important and you also neglect to admit to facts you already admitted. Kirsten, Molly, Joel, Liz, Flight, and even Annika and Uzi all know you headbutted me in the mouth.

You ADMITTED IT TO ANNIKA AND UZI.

All the others listed were there when you did it. This is another example of you attempting to edit facts. Simple fact- the tooth was pushed down due to you headbutting me in the mouth, an action you never apologized for and smiled after you did it.

There is an X-ray to prove this.

This cause a root canal to have to occur. You made my perfectly straight teeth crooked. You went to another dentist to ask if he could knock it back up an straighten it.

YOU DID THIS ON YOUR OWN TO YOUR DENTIST.

The now dead tooth with a hole in it came out shortly after.

Those are the facts so get them straight.

I would still have a tooth of you had never headbutted me in the first place.

Not only did you do that and there. Are witnesses and evidence, but YOU created evidence by consulting more doctors.

Talk about trying to run away from your responsibilities….

On Feb 11, 2011, at 13:06, Anna Ziolkowska <annaziolko1@gmail.com> wrote:

according to you insanity is saying you didnt cheat when you didnt cheat. and you are calling me insane? and dont even try to say that i called pablo a liar. i do not need to go to him for anything.

the three of us as well as the owner of the restaurant know the truth. you are just fishing for pitty once again. get a backbone.

learn to rely on your own strength rather than building your house on other peoples weakneses. and you are the only one who thinks he is crazy and seems obsessed with proving to others that you are not.

you never forced me to do anything, not even admitting to lying.

I didnt have to admit to anything, nor did i need to apologize, which i did both. i am not looking for you to accept my apology. you can only make peace with your own self.

On Fri, Feb 11, 2011 at 6:54 PM, HVBB Gmail <********@gmail.com> wrote:

And in response to the cheating, you just sent an email last week that admitted ti how selfish you were concerning Joel and Liz, but attempt to retract that in this email?

Yes, that is insanity.

On Feb 11, 2011, at 12:43, Anna Ziolkowska <annaziolko1@gmail.com> wrote:

Oh, and you don’t lie????? Do not talk to me about lying, till you don’t yourself… At least I admit to lying when I do and recognize it as a fault that I am working on. You on the other hand call me and as for me to lie for you, but then criticize me for lying.

Yes, i have lied to you for selfish reasons, but not with the intention of hurting you. I have already admited to this, so this is not major discovery on your part. As for your teeth, all I can say that Pablo was there, so he knows exectly what happened. You think that just because you tell everyone something, that makes it so? You and I both know the truth. You are wondering perhaps why you can’t find a job, and why you have other problems???

Karma. TRIED to cheat on you?????

Get real!

On Fri, Feb 11, 2011 at 6:36 PM, HVBB Gmail <********@gmail.com> wrote:

Again you don’t see reality for what it is. That is psychosis.

You went to marriage counseling and then backtracked on your agreement – FACT.

You lied and have admitted to lying (you really should read your previous emails before writing these responses or at least improve your memory, which is hard to do being a compulsive liar) – FACT

YOU left to Poland, lying the entire time before going and while there-FACT, proven by YOUR OWN WRITING

You were violent to me, knocking out my teeth-FACT

You tried to cheat several times and constantly pushed me away-WITNESSED FACTS.

You really have walked over the edge when you compose a message such the one you just did while ignoring even THOSE SIMPLE FACTS and there are SO MANY MORE that are verifiable and proveable.

Maybe you should read this, then re-read what you wrote and then MAYBE you might see reality for what it is.

On Feb 11, 2011, at 12:26, Anna Ziolkowska <annazioko1@gmail.com> wrote:

> Why do you speak as though I can do something to salvage our relationship. You are the one who has called me a liar and has sent me away with your words.

I threw my things out of the apartment, and have locked me out on multiple occasions, not the other way around.

This shows that you dont want me as a wife. I was too deaf to hear it. You contacted my friends family and coworkers to tell them what a terrible person I was according to you, so you do not want me as a wife.

So there is not me coming back to you.

Coming back on what terms? You are the one who doesnt want me. It is not my fault that i am not there right now. I was finally respecting your words.

THIS is who Ania Ziolkowska really is – Here is another Ania Ziolkowska tactic. She will ensure the email she is responding to is not in the email history, as though the history does not exist on the other end. This is a form of gas lighting via digital medium :

On Oct 27, 2010, at 10:01, HVBB Gmail <********@gmail.com> wrote:

I’m just forwarding YOUR email, so who looks crazier?

The one that lied and then shows they lied in their own words or the one that let’s everyone know they were lied to?

I don’t care either way. You painted a picture of me being crazy BEFORE the emails were sent.

You only don’t realize this because you lime to play with timelines to support your lies.

That’s why I also have an email from you that says to forget the timeline.

Your lies fall apart under scrutiny and chronological order.

So none of these people had any intention of getting the real story or they would have made an effort to meet me and I don’t care how I look in front of hypocrites.

They look worse by definition.

They are no one to me as I am no one to them.

I should care about how I look WHY, again?

On Oct 27, 2010, at 9:51, Ania <annaziolko1@gmail.com> wrote:

Nothing I do would make you look crazier than the emails which you yourself have sent out. What one says about another is an opinion, what one does oneself can’t be disputed. I am not dying the emails make you look crazy, because that is not my place to judge, but just think about this.

Sent from Ania’s iPad

On Oct 26, 2010, at 21:58, HVBB Gmail <********@gmail.com> wrote:

It is because you have shown a history of saying one thing to ME, but saying the OPPOSITE to EVERYONE else, so I am covering myself due to having become tired of being made to look “crazy” by you.

I am sorry, but that is the price of “the boy who cried wolf” method you have been using.

You may become angry in seeing this, but you may want to “put yourself in MY shoes.” When toughening yourself from the emotion of being “embarrassed” you may see that I am justified in doing this.

-Hector

The email that followed –

On Oct 27, 2010, at 10:43, HVBB Gmail <********@gmail.com> wrote:

It’s also funny it took you 3 days to get to this but only about 5 minutes to get back to your friends.

Something to be said there.

Next time I will follow my OWN instincts….

On Oct 27, 2010, at 9:51, Ania <aniazmail@gmail.com> wrote:

Nothing I do would make you look crazier than the emails which you yourself have sent out.

What one says about another is an opinion, what one does oneself can’t be disputed. I am not dying the emails make you look crazy, because that is not my place to judge, but just think about this.

Sent from Ania’s iPad

On Oct 26, 2010, at 21:58, HVBB Gmail <********@gmail.com> wrote:

It is because you have shown a history of saying one thing to ME, but saying the OPPOSITE to EVERYONE else, so I am covering myself due to having become tired of being made to look “crazy” by you.

I am sorry, but that is the price of “the boy who cried wolf” method you have been using.

You may become angry in seeing this, but you may want to “put yourself in MY shoes.” When toughening yourself from the emotion of being “embarrassed” you may see that I am justified in doing this.

-Hector

The email that followed THAT

On Oct 27, 2010, at 16:27, HVBB Gmail <********@gmail.com> wrote:

And now we step into Ania world, where the facts and actions of the people around her are in NO WAY an indication of any action she may have taken.

And let’s not forget his friends are so intelligent they do not tell in themselves and therefore tell on her as well. Aren’t the rest of us happy we do not live in Ania world?

Yes.

Yes we are.

On Oct 27, 2010, at 10:15, Ania <annnazioko1@gmail.com> wrote:

You do not know that.

What if in fact I do not tell people that you are crazy, but that instead you have made yourself look crazy due to your emails?

What if in fact I tell everyone that we have a normal relationship with ups and downs, and then you go forwarding my nice emails to you to all of my family and friends attempting to show them that in fact they are proof that I am crazy and a liar.

Who looks crazy in the end? I do not want my friends and family thinking you are crazy!

I am married to you.

Either way I love you.

Are you at work?

Sent from Ania’s iPad

On Oct 26, 2010, at 21:58, HVBB Gmail <********@gmail.com> wrote:

It is because you have shown a history of saying one thing to ME, but saying the OPPOSITE to EVERYONE else, so I am covering myself due to having become tired of being made to look “crazy” by you.

I am sorry, but that is the price of “the boy who cried wolf” method you have been using.

You may become angry in seeing this, but you may want to “put yourself in MY shoes.” When toughening yourself from the emotion of being “embarrassed” you may see that I am justified in doing this.

-Hector

See how she attempts to manipulate, even via a date stamped email?

THIS is NOT “Satya”.

I should have done this YEARS ago.

You now know you cannot believe a WORD SHE SAYS, VIA HER OWN WORDS. And there’s still text messages and voice recordings.

That’s when it gets REAL interesting.

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Yogis are not Saints – Ania Ziolkowska / Ania Anicca and her network of spies and stalkers

Ania Ziolkowska  would like to think she’s a crafty one.
However, she’s not as crafty as she thinks.

Example –

Amy Roman, Spying for Ania Ziolkowska / Ania Anicca - Why do people even DO this????

Amy Roman, Stalking for Ania Ziolkowska / Ania Anicca – Why do people even DO this????

If we’re wondering who Shiva Ka Li is, she’s a friend named Lauren Bautista, whom I met in Hong Kong, several years ago, who now lives in Singapore.

But she’s not important to this matter.


Who really IS of concern is Amy Roman

Amy Roman and Ania Ziolkowska / Ania Anicca are "FRIENDS" Proof of Ania Ziolkowska sending people to spy on me

Amy Roman and Ania Ziolkowska / Ania Anicca are “FRIENDS”
Proof of Ania Ziolkowska sending people to spy on me

Or are Amy Roman and Ania Ziolkowska the same person?

See, it seems Amy Roman elected to recently begin to “follow” my friend, Shiva Ka Li, which really means try to spy (stalk me) for Ania Ziolkowska, my wife, whom is supposedly happy in her adulterous relationship with Chris M Sevanick, also known as Chris Exeris of Grains of Sound (a failing side project), and Mindless Faith (a project that seems to have done infinitely better WITHOUT HIS INVOLVEMENT)

Basically, if you’re happy in your current relationship, why are you getting people to spy on the husband you’ve been cheating on?
Especially since Ania Ziolkowska so vehemently stated, in April, how she was not concerned with anything in my life. 

This is not the first time Ania Ziolkowska has done this. Back in 2011 Ania Ziolkowska created a Facebook profile named “Haleigh Clairee” to spy on me directly, on my page, saying she had gone to the University of Georgia, and that she had learned to hoop in Virginia, so I gave her a show.
Instead of doing the right thing, she continued her adulterous relationship with Chris Exeris.

In all reality, they seem to actually be the same exact person, as Amy Roman and Ania Ziolkowska “speak” exactly the same in writing. 

Ania Ziolkowska / Ania Anicca doing the Yoga Barbie Doll I saw through 13 years ago

Ania Ziolkowska / Ania Anicca doing the Yoga Barbie Doll I saw through 13 years ago

I usually do not care what goes on, on Ania’s facebook page, and merely type the link (mostly because I can’t believe Ania STILL calls herself “Mukti“) in the blog, as a hyperlink, however, a dream last night made me get up and check something, which brought me this current discovery.

This is middle school behaviour.

Childish, juvenile, and just plain sad.

I’ve instructed my friend to check her “followers”, and block anyone that seems “questionable”, to her.

If Ania Ziolkowska wants to know what’s going on in my life, she will have to do it herself, not continue to hide behind sock puppets.

Our next blog concerning Ania Ziolkowska will be about how she is supposedly a yoga instructor, but the only one anyone has ever seen that has GAINED subcutaneous fat, while most female instructors LOSE it.

 

 

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Psytrance Cultism – Grains of Sound: Delusions of Grandeur

What you just heard isn’t “Grains of Sound”, but it was put here to make a point.

I made that.

I am a novice, just beginning in the electronic music scene, at least as a producer. I’ve been a dancer since 1993, in nearly every genre of electronic dance music there is, from house, breaks, to gabber hardcore, to, yes, even psytrance (though I’ve left that scene behind).

This will be a first HONEST review of the one man act known as “Grains of Sound”.

First……that NAME!!!
Seriously, let’s just think about that name. What, and I mean what, if anything, would anyone think when hearing that name?
I personally think of fingernails across a black board, but that’s just me.

Any sound that seems granular also seems ABRASIVE, like SAND PAPER.

It really comes from “Granular Synthesis”, the most simplistic technique any DJ or producer can use.

So simple, it’s actually a core component of every single DAW ever made.

To stake an entire career on something so simplistic, in an industry that is constantly evolving, is very telling.

But let’s move on……

Here we see that Grains of Sound is advertising both their New Year‘s Eve show, in Berlin, and their [supposed] European “Tour”(Poland. It’s mostly Poland).

Let’s look at the New Years Eve Show –

Grains of Sound - New Year's Eve JOKE

Grains of Sound – New Year’s Eve JOKE

The show in question is being done at this BARR19 , in Berlin, Germany.

Now, let’s look at other information about the party in question, specifically, the line up –

What's that? Do you see it?

What’s that? Do you see it?

Now, I know it may not be immediately apparent, so we’ll bring it a little closer –

Still not seeing it?

Still not seeing it?

Okay, we know it’s not immediately apparent, so we shall point out the glaring fact to you –

NOW do you see it?

NOW do you see it?

See, I don’t know about anyone else, but this is New Year’s Eve, and it’s also Europe, where things begin MUCH LATER than the United States, except for maybe New York City, Los Angeles, and Vegas.
However, also realize this is nearly right after midnight.

Who is going to be in the Chill Out Room that early?

NOBODY

That’s the truth.
Most will still be dancing to something more lively and not giving a damn about chilling out.
Let’s face it – Most people won’t even show up till near midnight as it is.

However, and this is the most hilarious aspect:

There’s a much LARGER event happening on the same night, in the same city, in the SAME GENRE. 

This is happening the Same time as Grains of Sound, in Berlin, on NYE 2013

This is happening the Same time as Grains of Sound, in Berlin, on NYE 2013

This is happening the Same time as Grains of Sound, in Berlin, on NYE 2013

This is happening the Same time as Grains of Sound, in Berlin, on NYE 2013

Now, I don’t know about YOU, but if I’m supposedly on a “European Tour”, I would think I would be going where I would get THE MOST EXPOSURE, right???

The definition of “Delusions of Grandeur” is –

Grains of Sound: Delusions of Grandeur

Grains of Sound: Delusions of Grandeur

And he utilizes lies and deception.
I have been to Playa Del Fuego. And I especially went to Playa Del Fuego in the fall of 2013 (Spoiler alert!!! PDF never occurs in August. It has two dates: Labor Day weekend and Memorial Day weekend). In August of 2013, Chris Exeris was in Poland with Ania Anicca / Ania Ziolkowska.
So how does he have a picture claiming to be at PDF at the same exact time???

Chris trying to lure the burner crowd He's NEVER played Playa Del Fuego

Chris trying to lure the burner crowd
He’s NEVER played Playa Del Fuego

It’s another lie. A deception, trying to sway the Burner crowd, to say “Look! I’m one of you!!!”  in hopes it will get him more bookings.

Which, of course, reflects Narcissistic Personality Disorder quite well, doesn’t it?

Chris Exeris Sevanick - Grains of Sound

Chris Exeris Sevanick – Grains of Sound

We all hope you are laughing at this as much as we are.
Our next installment will show how this is New York City all over again, and show additional pictures as to how Grains of Sound never had anyone show up to their shows, with pictures of him playing to empty fields, with only Ania Ziolkowska watching……

Ania Ziokowska essentially the only one watching Chris Exeris play his Grains of Sound set at an outdoor festival called Respect Gatherings

Ania Ziokowska essentially the only one watching Chris Exeris play his Grains of Sound set at an outdoor festival called Respect Gatherings August 2013
Apparently his “celebrity” status makes Ania Ziolkowska more devoted than she was to ANYONE else

Happy Holidaze!!!

Update:

Seems Grains of Sound / Chris Exeris, was NOT invited back to the Life Celebration Festival –

Chris not invited back to the Life Celebration Festival for 2014

Chris not invited back to the Life Celebration Festival for 2014

UPDATE 2:

Seems we were correct.
Anyone with a Facebook account can see that, as we suspected, barely anyone showed up for Grains of Sound’s set.

One last thing –

Chris Sevanick (Exeris) is a chill out producer.
That’s right, chill out.

To make a point as to how simple it is to make chill out, I made this track today. It’s not complete, since it needs editing and some EQ, however, using NO STOCK SAMPLES, and keying every note in with my Nektar Panorama P6, this was the result –

Try stepping into my arena, Chris.
Try making HOUSE

You know……something that requires more than knowledge of a few chords and the ability to add ambient filler to make the rest of a “song”……..

Every time I listen to one of his tracks, I think he’s taken stock footage from a George Lucas film.
When they fire up the Deathstar to fire on the Rebel Planet?
THX-1138?

Yeah.
Just like that.

HACK

Psytrance Cultism – Herd Mentality: The “Hive Mind”

Recently there has been a war concerning Ania Ziolkowska and Chris Exeris Sevanick.
It seems that their recent trip to Poland has “emboldened” them, makes them feel “untouchable”
Or, more accurately, they are probably running into opposition, socially, in Poland, and do not want to recognize that it is their own personalities are to blame.

So, lately, they have taken to a campaign of reporting every single little post they can on facebook, attempting to protect their “image”
This is ironic, as they actually have no real personality of their own. They have a manufactured image they have compiled from their interactions with others.
They’re incapable of ever knowing their true selves –

NARCISSISTS ARE PEOPLE WHO never learned to make it on their own. Except for their fantasies of perfection, envy of others who have what they lack, and unacknowledged fears of humiliation, they are empty on the inside. They have no real Self to bring to a relationship with another person, but they desperately need someone else to join them in their emptiness and help them maintain emotional equilibrium. The ideal candidate is someone willing to become an extension of the Narcissist’s fragile ego, to serve as an object of admiration, contempt, or often enough both. The sign over their door ought to read: Abandon Self All Ye Who Enter Here.

– Hotchkiss (pg. 121)

An example of their current debacle of narcissism is this very public display of attempted character assassination

He doesn't like drama, but he makes this post? Narcissists are DRAMA QUEENS

He doesn’t like drama, but he makes this post?
Narcissists are DRAMA QUEENS

Really? This isn't drama?

Really?
This isn’t drama?

The hypocrisy alone, in this entire display is nothing less than hilarious.

“People need to get on with their own lives, instead of worrying about others…..”

Then…..WHY ARE YOU PARTICIPATING IN THIS????

The thing that is prevalent in cults, and narcissists, besides their toxic vitriol, is the fact they project.
They do EXACTLY  what they call out in other people as “wrong”, yet somehow do not see THEY ARE DOING PRECISELY THE SAME THING THEMSELVES

And let’s not forget how the lying and duplicitous drama king himself, Chris “Exeris” Sevanick, chimes in his two cents.

Let’s clear some things up, as, it is obvious they believe the lies Chris Sevanick and Ania Ziolkowska have fed them –

1. Ania Ziolkowska is my WIFE. We are still married, as she freely admitted in the linked conversation. And she ran to Poland to keep from having to pay damages in a divorce.

Remember

Remember “Collective Narcissism” (Herd Mentality)?
Well, here you go.
And thank you for believing I can affect the future of Grains of Sound

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  1. I cannot affect the fate of Grains of Sound, Chris Sevanick’s failing side project, though I will admit I am flattered they believe I can.
    The only one that can affect it’s fate is Chris Exeris, and he’s doing just fine on his own in ensuring it will go nowhere (that will be addressed in another blog)
  2. Chris Sevanick resents that I have been able to achieve more attention with my blogs and posts than he has been able to in the EIGHT YEARS he has been doing Grains of Sound.

There’s a conversation with Kaliptus Ohm that will be the subject of the next entry in the series, where he’s asked to just ask Chris Sevanick for the original of the conversation featured in the “Id-the Ego of Maya” blog, however, he merely continues to call me a liar, rather than verify the truth.

Then he just removed the post entirely.

They don’t want to know reality.
Then they would be wrong.
And, as we previously discussed, a narcissist can never be wrong.

Chris Exeris Sevanick isn't a bad guy? Really? We should look at the

Chris Exeris Sevanick isn’t a bad guy? Really?
We should look at the “Id – The ego of Maya” blog to confirm that.

Grains of Sound - your future is in my hands......apparently

Because Putting Ohm at the end of your name, and then doing what you just said you hated isn’t hypocritical at all………….Grains of Sound – your future is in my hands……apparently

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The Covert Narcissist – The Chameleon

We are constantly attempting to give REAL examples of Narcissism, Spiritual Narcissism, and Covert Stealth Narcissism. Above is a video that illustrates the most dangerous, and the most PREVALENT form of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, of which Ania Ziolkowska is a prime example of –

Ania Ziolkowska / Ania Anicca holds at least SIX of these nine traits

Ania Ziolkowska / Ania Anicca holds at least SIX of these nine traits

Ania Ziolkowska Destroys and runs. Here she is dancing at Riou, In queens, at Psychill Psysundays. Ania Ziolkowska Knocked out my teeth, then

Ania Ziolkowska Destroys and runs. Here she is dancing at Riou, In queens, at Psychill Psysundays.
Ania Ziolkowska Knocked out my teeth, then “punished” herself by jumping on another dick, and partying around New York City.

It should be said, that BOTH Ania Ziolkowska and Chris “Exeris” Sevanick have made every effort for this to not be known, including attempted defamation of character of myself, the author (which they have backed away from, now that the most famous entry on Id exists) because, as with any Covert Stealth Narcissist, they need to maintain

“Their overt behavior projects an innocent, angel-like,good as gold persona which builds them a credible and faultless reputation yet they fail to reach their true potential due to their own self-doubt.”

Covert Narcissists, of which both Ania Ziolkowska, and Chris “Exeris” Sevanick are, are damaging, without empathy, opportunistic, and what we would all consider the exact description of “evil” The most pitiful aspect of this disorder is something we would consider so simple, yet seems so difficult, even impossible for THEM

The basic idea is that a narcissist wants to secure himself against the need to say, “Okay, I made a mistake, I was wrong.”  To a narcissist, this is a fate worse than death, and many narcissists quite literally suffer death to avoid the possibility. Normal people are willing to be found wrong, over and over again, because this is in the nature of life. Such people expect their personal creative process to eventually bear fruit, and are willing to experiment with reality, walk paths not yet explored, sometimes stumble and fall, in the hope of contributing something new to the store of human knowledge. At some risk of oversimplification, a normal person is willing to be wrong 100 times in order to create something uniquely new and useful, while a narcissist sacrifices this opportunity, this stage of personal evolution, in order to be secure against the possibility of being found wrong.  For a normal person, being wrong is the price we pay for the creative process. For a narcissist, being wrong is too high a price to pay — better to label other people as wrong, from within an impregnable fortress of mediocrity. Unfortunately, in exchange for an infantile kind of security, narcissists sacrifice any chance to positively influence the world.

Dr. Brene Brown illustrates so eloquently something I attempted to show Ania Ziolkowska for an entire decade how to be –

This is something Ania Ziolkowska, and later, many of her mutual friends, such as Angelina Panaugua, Kirsten Norman, and Eva Annika Backstrom, began to resent me for (Ironically, it was also the more they dove into teaching of Wayne Dyer, Eckhart Tolle, “The Secret”, Ram Dass, Osho, etc, that they began to resent me more for pointing out the one thing NONE of those ever point out, which is vulnerability. The one thing all of them refuse to acknowledge.)

Even their friends in New York City, now that Ania and Chris have left to Warsaw, Poland, to live in the apartment that Ania and I were meant to raise our children in (it’s all revenge tactics, designed to hurt me, for not letting Ania Ziolkowska have her way) are now willing to come out and say, honestly, what they think of them.

Charlee Zee Monkee's opinion of Ania / Ania Anicca and Chris Exeris

Charlee Zee Monkee’s opinion of Ania / Ania Anicca and Chris Exeris

There is much more that can be said, however, now that I am finally getting back into the actual writing of this blog, and need to clean up the earlier entries, And my need to complete previous series, as well as an upcoming entry illustrating all the people that have thanked us for helping them through their narcissistic abuse, I will attempt to keep things concise, and end with two visual points. One humorous, and both serious.

Happy Holidaze to all.

Ania Ziolkowska / Ania Anicca - Ugly on the outside, and the inside as well

Ania Ziolkowska / Ania Anicca – Ugly on the outside, and the inside as well

Narcissistic Sociopath Traits - Ania Ziolkowksa / Ania Anicca on

Narcissistic Sociopath Traits – Ania Ziolkowksa / Ania Anicca on “E”

Narcissistic Sociopath Traits – Ania Ziolkowksa / Ania Anicca on “E”

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Holiday humor

Ania Ziolkowksa / Ania Anicca & Chris Exeris of Mindless Faith & Grains of Sound really do look like Shrek & Fiona, don't they?

Ania Ziolkowksa / Ania Anicca & Chris Exeris of Mindless Faith & Grains of Sound really do look like Shrek & Fiona, don’t they?

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The Demonic State of Egohood – A quickie

Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism by Chögy...

Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism by Chögyam Trungpa (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Ego is able to convert everything to its own use, even spirituality.For example,if you have learned of a particularly beneficial meditation technique of spiritual practice,then ego’s attitude is, first to regard it as an object of fascination and, second to examine it. Finally, since ego is seeming solid and cannot really absorb anything, it can only mimic.

Thus ego tries to examine and imitate the practice of meditation and the meditative way of life. When we have learned all the tricks and answers of the spiritual game, we automatically try to imitate spirituality, since real involvement would require the complete elimination of ego, and actually the last thing we want to do is to give up the ego completely.

However, we cannot experience that which we are trying to imitate; we can only find some area within the bounds of ego that seems to be the same thing. Ego translates everything in terms of its own state of health, its own inherent qualities. It feels a sense of great accomplishment and excitement at having been able to create such a pattern. At last it has created a tangible accomplishment, a confirmation of its own individuality.”

~ Chogyam Trungpa RinpocheCutting Through Spiritual Materialism” 

I have been working on the next part in the Vipassana Series, though I have been held back by some technical difficulties, unfortunately (recovery of emails, etc, for use in the illustration of what is being explained), however, I felt I have not made a post in a while, and though formatting is difficult, am providing a recent “quickie”, so to speak.

I will now provide the following images –

Ania Ziolkowksa / Ania Anicca doesn't understand the Yoga Sutras

Ania Ziolkowksa / Ania Anicca doesn’t understand the Yoga Sutras

This is actually amazing, for a psychological case study…..

The page in question is the following:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/151719691704163/

If anyone understands how pages work in Facebook, there is a “seen” heading on each post, that shows not only how may have seen it, but WHO sees it.

This specific page is about the yoga sutras of patanjali, and Ania Ziolkowska has “seen” every post that has been made on the page, which are verses from the sutras.

Here is where it gets interesting (and when you can know if someone has actually read the sutras, or understands them) –

The only sutras Ania has “liked” so far are also the only ones that can be misinterpreted as ego-centric.

The one and only post Ania Ziolkowska commented on is an exercise in her attempting “magic” – “Say it, and it will be true”

Ania Ziolkowska is STILL attempting to convince herself that everything she is doing, everything she has done so far, is the “right path”, or even a path at all.

Ania Ziolkowska is still attempting to convince herself that everything she gave up was for the right reasons, that it was worth giving up at all.

Ania is looking for forgiveness she doesn’t deserve because she refuses to take responsibility for what she’s done, believing there is a “path” that can avoid that “requirement”.

Ania Ziolkowska is still trying to convince herself she is “happy”.

Maybe some don’t see this, however I would deem that as interesting, due to the fact that, like a child, Ania is ruled by her Id, and has finally reached the point where the Id is all she is, which, essentially, means she’s an empty shell, with very little impulse control.

Also notice that her comment, the only one Ania Ziolkowska has provided, is “shallow”, without any deeper explanation of what the sutra means, to her?

Notice how Ania asks no questions, to gain a deeper or more clear understanding?

Essentially, what Ania Ziolkowska is practicing is a confirmation bias, brought forth by cognitive dissonance, in that she cannot relate the other sutras to herself, and therefore ignores them, as they are too difficult, just as Ania ignores any mention of Yamas – “rights”, or  Niyamas – “wrongs”

And by asking no questions, Ania protects her “Id”, by not chancing that “she”, her Id self, could possibly be wrong.

The avoidance of “Unpleasure”.

Thus taking the safe route.

Ania Ziolkowska merely wishes to be “acknowledged”, but not in a way that is actually beneficial to her.

Ania Ziolkowksa / Ania Anicca, You're fooling nobody

Ania Ziolkowksa / Ania Anicca, You’re fooling nobody

Ania Ziolkowksa / Ania Anicca on her stolen india trip. Ania knew for 10 years I wanted to go to india and kept "us" too broke to do ANYTHING

Ania Ziolkowksa / Ania Anicca on her stolen india trip. Ania knew for 10 years I wanted to go to india and kept “us” too broke to do ANYTHING

 

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Psytrance Cultism : Pawel “ArThou” Tulin – Demonstration of Collective Narcissism

On Aug 14, 2013, at 18:48, “Pawel Tulin” <ptulin@gmail.com> wrote:

Dude – to start with – you are officially band from Poland forever, do not ever go there because you will never come back unless in body bag, and I promise you that

Hector Virgilio Barrientos-Bullock <*********@xxx.com> Wed, Aug 14, 2013 at 7:01 PM
To: “<ptulin@gmail.com>” <ptulin@gmail.com>
Cc: Chris Exeris <Alterculture@gmail.com>
Oh my?
You control an entire country now?
Interesting.
I do believe there’s this thing called international relations.
You might want to look it up.
I’m sorry….seriously….hold on…:..I need to catch my breath.
My stomach hurts from laughing so much.
I’m not kidding.
Poland would not risk and international incident over your collective asinine egos.
I really had no desire at all to go there, but am now considering it, JUST to laugh in your face.
I’ll have to get back to you after I’m done laughing.
I’ve already had to correct 12 typos from typing while laughing.
Hahahahahahahahahaha!!!
That was too good!!!
Oh lord…..
Okay( what else have you in your back of delusions, oh lord and master magician?
Sent from my iPhone
Pawel Tulin <ptulin@gmail.com> Wed, Aug 14, 2013 at 7:05 PM
Reply-To: ptulin@gmail.com
To: Hector Virgilio Barrientos-Bullock <hectorbmail@xxx.com>
Cc: Chris Exeris <Alterculture@gmail.com>
You bet – I do control that country, more than you ever know – and few others – want to challenge me? I’ll buy you a ticket

Welcome to the first installment of a continuing series on Psytrance Cultism!!!
As usual, there are hyperlinks that explain terms, so follow them to have a complete understanding.
I had been hoping to complete the Vipassana Cultism series, however, due to email issues, as well as the providence of the above conversation landing in my lap, I felt it was time to put that to the back burner, for just a moment, and address a growing problem:

The misuse of Psytrance and Psytrance culture to become cultish Collective Narcissism

It’s the “Heather’s” or “Mean Girls” of the EDM (Electronic Dance Music) community.

1175095_10201209928785306_672497259_n

Luis Campos, 2nd from the left, Chris “Exeris” Sevanick, far left.
This is PsychGround.
These people should NEVER reproduce.

We will focus mostly on a “collective” (pun intended) known as PyscheGround (and some members of EastCoast Psytribe), in New York City, though there may be a few diversions that reach as far as Colorado, Germany, and Poland. As you will see by the comments and discussions listed, these people are true Narcissistic Personality Disorders.

Legends in their OWN minds.

Now, before we go any further, it should be made clear that I followed psytrance as far back as when I was in the Navy, based out of Yokosuka, Japan, aboard the USS Independence CV62, way back in 1995, having been introduced to it by a “girl” friend named “Victoria”. At that time, psytrance was known as ” Goa Trance“, was artful, creative, technical, and made up of an actually caring community.

That is not what psytrance is NOW

What prompted this series, besides a multitude of reasons, is an article I saw posted a few months ago about how psytrance was the

“Religion that has no name….”

When I saw and read this article……well, before I say anything, let me provide an excerpt –

“It is, essentially, a ‘New Religious Movement’ (NRM) that is not allowed to become an organised religion. It cannot be given a name, nor can its places of communal gathering be made to explicit. It includes a great variety of belief and practice: but then the religions of Hinduism and Buddhism, even Christianity all show a great variety of forms and expressions also. It has it’s own set of texts, but none are adopted as dogma, there is no cannon: but then many of the historical forms of human spirituality did not have a cannon either. It even has its own unique forms of artistic expression and aesthetic style, rife with themes of transcendence and spiritual discovery.”

Firstly, when did popping psychedelic drugs and listening to “sub”-corporate music, become a “religious movement”???? It’s places of gathering cannot be made explicit? They post all over the internet when a show or festival is happening, they take pictures, they charge admission, they promote DJs and producers!!!!

I believe if a church did this, we would call it a SCAM, or a CULT.

But, let us visit upon that later, shall we? We do have a purpose to this PARTICULAR blog entry, after all……. It includes a great variety of practices? Maybe it does, however, not one of them understand a SINGLE ONE of those practices anywhere NEAR completely. And we shall demonstrate that as we proceed. It has it’s own sacred texts? What texts are these? A “bible” of blotter LSD? There were no “Sacred Texts” in 1995, or in the 70s, when this genre began, nor are there NOW. But no adopted dogma? I am willing to wager that as we watch this series unfold, we will learn there IS an adopted dogma, and that “dogma” is “Spiritual Narcissism”, practiced in the form of COLLECTIVE NARCISSISM. Unique forms of artistic expression?

It’s MUSIC!!! Of COURSE it’s “artistic” and “expressionistic”!!!

Though the “Unique” is debatable. You’ll have to REALLY DIG to find THAT. Let us take a quote from a German friend, via Frankfurt, the city of my birth (Please don’t mind the language difference)  –

  • June 14
  • 11:06am

     Shiva Bodhi Dharma     So, it’s sub-underground, as it is everywhere. I’ll be honest, with the mentality of the people I have seen in the psytrance scene, I pretty much see it as a virus that needs be innoculated against. They have no empathy and no sense of anyone but themselves and their cultish community. I have conversations with psytrance heads that illustrate this, and it has become more prevalent in the last 5 years. And I used to be part of that scene, until I saw that and became victim to it. They’re a bunch of pleasure seeking sociopaths.
  • 11:07am

     Flow Yo     word.
     it’s exactly the same as in germany -.-
     that’s the reason why i don’t go to events like this anymore…
  • Shiva Bodhi Dharma     So, it IS a virus that spreads across that community. I felt as much.

  • Flow Yo     and you have dumb people with many drugs in their blood

  • Shiva Bodhi Dharma     I must ask, may I use your comments in a blog I am writing on this subject?

  • Flow Yo     yeah, you can.

  • Shiva Bodhi Dharma     Thank you. That helps a lot.

  • Flow Yo     and you have some dumbass-vegetarians, that are shouting their message all over the place…

    erm, not “some”, many!
    and all this shit of pseudo-deep people
  • Shiva Bodhi Dharma     That’s ironic, as, due to Monsanto, the vegetables they eat actually have animal genes spliced into them.

  • Flow Yo nothing real psychedelic, open minded thinkers, philosophers, dumb style-people as everywhere

    after “philosophers” should be a full-stop.
  • Shiva Bodhi Dharma     Wow. This virus has spread to Europe. However I’ve noticed it’s predominantly EASTERN Europe, And I wonder why that is…..

  • Flow Yo     it’s a pity, but yeah, you can’t keep the dumb people out.

  • Shiva Bodhi Dharma     The “dumb people” seem to have become the “normal” people. And that’s scary.

  • Flow Yo     i think it’s because of some kind of narcistic. internet, the people think, if they dress like that, listen to that kind of music and eat vegetarian, they’d be a better person and so deep

     yeah, this is true…
  • Shiva Bodhi Dharma     I think you are correct.

  • Flow Yo     that they are dumb and closed mind is the fact, i think

    and they don’t have no idea of good music often
  • Shiva Bodhi Dharma     While saying they are actually more open minded than others. And that is the complete irony of it.

  • Flow Yo     end never felt, what problems and chaos is like. they’re just kids

    yeah..
  • Shiva Bodhi Dharma     Sadly, many of them are over 40 years old.

  • Flow Yo     eeek..
  • Flow Yo     and they’re such scene fascists

  • Shiva Bodhi Dharma     I’m sorry. I really want to continue this, but I have to go. And I really do want to continue this, as you are providing a very relevant view.

  • Flow Yo     hey, i hear so many music, go to so many different parties, scenes, communitys… i’m kind of exotic, i think. where i go, i see people, just living in their own little habitats.

  • Shiva Bodhi Dharma     Yes. I do the same. In many groups but part of none.

  • Flow Yo     okay, we will continue sometimes, i hope. have fun at whatever you do and have a nice weekend! and keep strong, and keep in mind they’re just a bunch of afraid childs. afraid to stand alone, on their own feets and realize they’re nothing but implanted ideologies and ideas!

  • Shiva Bodhi Dharma     We will. I’ll hit you up sometime this weekend.

  • Flow Yo     and thx for the name pollock, i’m reading very interested his bio.

  • (Author’s note: He is an artist in Germany, and therefore had never heard of Jackson Pollock, therefore I directed him to him, for inspiration…..)

There are MANY  such conversations I have been given permission to use in this series, not all from him, but many others, though the Germans DO seem to be the most outspoken, and, as shall be seen, they all say, in their own ways, the exact same thing –

Psytrance seems composed of mostly Spiritual Narcissists

Now, once again, the stage is set, the scenario defined, and thus, we come to our first “player”, if you will…….

Pawel Tulin

Degree in Psychology, User Experience software designer, Polish Psytrance Ego Maniac. Observe –

  • Shiva Bodhi Dharma     maybe……You do realize I have issues with the Arthous right now, right? Due to hiding that Chris Sevanick was fucking my wife, while partying right next to me, for nearly a year, right? Not saying I’m adverse to a meeting, just putting that out there.

     And yes, Ania Ziolkowska or Ziolko, is the woman I have been talking about for nearly two years. The abusive gold digger.
     So, just want to put that out there, before, you know.
  • Pawel Icon 2
    Pawel ArThou     sorry to hear that but I was out of the scene for at least two years, exactly for the reason that this psy scene is bit fucked up for me. So even if I share the name with them, I have not seen any of them at least for two years. I am keeping the name for sentimental reason. Hope you get it
Pawel Tulin & Ania Ziolkowska Pawel lied to me and stated he did not know them - See the Psytrance Cults Blog

Pawel Tulin & Ania Ziolkowska
Pawel lied to me and stated he did not know them – See the Psytrance Cults Blog

Now, as can be seen, while Pawel Tulin was believing he was successfully deceiving me in stating he had not seen anyone from the “ArThou” swinger group for two years, he was hanging out with MY adulterous wife, and Chris “Exeris” Sevanick, nearly every day. I already knew this. And this makes a point that is not only indicative of Pawel, but of everyone in this New York City Psytrance “Community” –

They believe they are smarter than anyone  else they encounter. 

This is another symptom of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, bordering on Anti Social Personality Disorder. It seems these traits are prevalent among cultists.

However, what can we expect, from someone that says something such as this? –

From: “Pawel Tulin” <ptulin@gmail.com>
Date: May 16, 2013, 17:37:02 EDT
To: “‘Hector Barrientos-Bullock'” <hvbbmail@xxx.com>
Subject: RE: I never did
Reply-To: <ptulin@gmail.com>

I don’t want to waste my time on bullshit. I don’t know what dhamma is but I
feel it. Especially, I don’t have time for your petty shit. Do what you
want, I’ll see you on the other side. You can thank me later, if there is
any need for it any after…

Do we remember the line of how none of them understand any of the practices they have adopted completely?

Well, there you go.

Let us include the entire email exchange the first lines of this first article of the series originated from.
It should be noted that I am merely laying out rope for Pawel, length by length, waiting for him to do what is to be done with rope, as we all know.
There are many conversations such as this, and they will be included in future entries to this series, however, this one was such a god send that I had to change my blog schedule to get this out to the masses, for all to see how the minds of the psytrance acolytes have warped all sense of reality, and call it “spiritual”.

Yes, it’s highly personal, however, well…..just look at his “Dhamma” line.

It speaks for itself……

The exchange –

On Wed, Aug 14, 2013 at 2:33 PM, Pawel Tulin <ptulin@gmail.com> wrote:

Listen – take me off this bullshit you doing or I will sue you myself little man

From: Hector Barrientos-Bullock [mailto:hectorbmail@xxx.com] 
Sent: Wednesday, August 14, 2013 2:38 PM
To: ptulin@gmail.com
Subject: Re: Figure it out yet?

Please sue.

I’m curious – what statute do you believe you will be utilizing?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

On Wed, Aug 14, 2013 at 2:44 PM, Pawel Tulin <ptulin@gmail.com> wrote:

Harassment, slander, stocking, I have all the copies of your emails, you are an asshole. If you ever end up with her in court, I will testify against you, you piece of shit. You are a fuckin moron and disgrace to humanity. Go kill yourself and save all of us an effort. Also – you are a joke in our community, most people put your fricking email on automatic delete including Ania and Chris, and others are saying you are an asshole who will never be welcome back to burners and psy. So get the grip and move on. Or if you want to get something done, change your strategy and be a good person, dick lick

On Wed, Aug 14, 2013 at 2:50 PM, Hector Barrientos-Bullock <hectorbmail@xxx.com> wrote:

Slander has to be a lie.
harrassment is moot, due to your involvement AND association, as well as your attempted deception of me from facebook (which is now a legal document), to email, and i truly hope you DO testify.
You are oblivious to the exact nature of how damaging that would actually be to HER.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

You’re not the only one that keeps copy.

You have demonstrated yourself to be lower than what is left on the floors of a slaughter house, due to your actions in THIS incident alone.

Once again, thank you, Pawel.

By the way, have you heard of relevance and hearsay?

They would never LET you testify.

You’re not RELEVANT to our MARRIAGE, nor have you ever met me, nor have you ever met us together.

Where is your relevance?

How are you such an unintelligent idiot?

HOW have you survived this long?????

As for the burners, YOU’RE not considered a burner, and I don’t give a shit about psy.
And yes, I have checked with the burners.
NOBODY KNOWS WHO ANY OF YOU ARE.

Would you like me to send you the messages I have from the burners, all of whom do not know YOU or ONTONCA??

They only know Jika.

You really think you’re more important than you really are.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

On Wed, Aug 14, 2013 at 3:02 PM, Pawel Tulin <ptulin@gmail.com> wrote:

Dude – I will call Jiki right now and cuts you off her circles as well, you are a disease, she is my sister
(Author’s note- the are NOT blood related. He’s Polish. She’s Russian. Not that it matters…..)

So if I am not involved why do you bombard me with your hate and moron behavior, why do you harass me asshole? What did I do to you? I did try to help you a little before but stop involving me in your twisted mind. It’s not my drama, keep me out of it. You are a little man consumed by anger and hate. She left you because of it. So man up and stand up to what you did wrong. Stop bombarding me with your petty shit or I will make my steps to prevent you to do so. If you ever even remotely understand love and Buddhism, for which I beg you to take another look, you are destroying yourself. This is plain stupid but it is not my duty to walk you out of your hell. This is the last time I try to talk as a friend….

On Wed, Aug 14, 2013 at 3:04 PM, Hector Barrientos-Bullock <hectorbmail@xxx.com> wrote:

You’re too late.
I cut myself off from everyone except the core burners over a year ago.
How do you think I know you guys are a joke to the burn community?
They do not like your kind.
They don’t like sociopaths.
Oooooooooo…..spoken like a true narcissist, by the way.
The flaunting of USELESS status, as no one but eastern european sociopaths go to the houses you know.

NO ONE IN THE BURN COMMUNITY LIKES YOU.

On Wed, Aug 14, 2013 at 3:11 PM, Pawel Tulin <ptulin@gmail.com> wrote:

Dude – I don’t care if someone likes me, but they do. Even your friends are emailing me telling me that you are crazy asshole

On Wed, Aug 14, 2013 at 3:01 PM, Pawel Tulin <ptulin@gmail.com> wrote:

Yeah – it’s called modesty, I don’t need to be in the lime light. I just provide love and services to my brothers and sisters in need. I am not a DJ or anything like that but I don’t have to pay for tickets and my house is always full of friends, and where and when I travel I don’t need to worry about the thing. And you are not welcome in most of the houses I know

From: Hector Barrientos-Bullock [mailto:hectorbmail@xxx.com]
Sent: Wednesday, August 14, 2013 3:14 PM
To: Pawel Tulin
Subject: Re: Figure it out yet?

Do you READ what you write, before you write the next line?

I’m going to ENJOY posting this in my blog.

How you contradict yourself from one message to the next.

PRICELESS.

You are a narcissist bordering on sociopath.
You lie, you manipulate, you have an inflated sense of yourself, and call it modesty.
You are the oldest idiot I have met in my entire life.

On Wed, Aug 14, 2013 at 3:09 PM, Pawel Tulin <ptulin@gmail.com> wrote:

No – you are – get a shrink. Most of the people I know think you are a joke bro, Just a stupid pathetic idiot. I don’t even know why I waste my time talking to you, maybe my Buddhist education in compassion. Anyway – travel well, you would be better of listening to my advice but this is hopeless. In a way I do feel for you and feel sorry for you, anger and hate are big things to overcome, they can kill you. If you will survive, you’ll be a better man, I know it from my own experience. Otherwise you will die misbul death, goodbye friend and good luck

From: Hector Barrientos-Bullock [mailto:hectorbmail@xxx.com] 
Sent: Wednesday, August 14, 2013 3:13 PM
To: ptulin@gmail.com
Subject: Re: Figure it out yet?

You are a sociopath and an IDIOT.

You lie and get caught and expect people to listen to you.
I post about you EVERY DAY.

“they will lie to your face and say they are your friends”

You are TEXT book.

I know children with more maturity than you.

And the bottle blonde of ania’s hair?

Nice.

From vidal sassoon to chez cvs.

The same yoga clothes from three years ago to go out?

must suck to live in one of the fashion capitals of the world, knowing she was a clothes horse, and now not able to buy one new piece of clothing.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

On Wed, Aug 14, 2013 at 3:17 PM, Pawel Tulin <ptulin@gmail.com> wrote:

Yeah? Maybe you should check my background… Ania might not have resources to sue you but I do so be careful
(Author’s note – Thank you for telling me Ania Ziolkowska is BROKE, not that it matters to me……)

Hector Barrientos-Bullock <hectorbmail@xxx.com> Wed, Aug 14, 2013 at 3:18 PM
To: Pawel Tulin <ptulin@gmail.com>
Your point?
you still need a valid CASE.
idiot.

On Wed, Aug 14, 2013 at 3:18 PM, Pawel Tulin <ptulin@gmail.com> wrote:

And regarding your blog, my lawyer already contacted wordpress few weeks ago, we are either suing them or they have to take you down
(Author’s note – Guess my outing them through this medium HAS had an effect…..)

Yeah man – that’s why when people hear about you – they are telling me to stay away from you. You are a disease and nobody wants to have anything with you, I am the only one left that still feels some compassion for you, but I am running short of patience…
(Author’s note – Pawel “Lost Patience” the moment he realized I could confirm he was both lying to me and trying to manipulate me. See – “Narcissistic Rage” )

On Wed, Aug 14, 2013 at 3:19 PM, Hector Barrientos-Bullock <hectorbmail@xxx.com> wrote:

Go for it.
Not going to work and you don’t scare me.
Wordpress is not responsible for my blog.
I know the legalities of that as well.
Try again.

Get this through your head:
YOU
DON’T
SCARE
ME

On Wed, Aug 14, 2013 at 5:00 PM, Pawel Tulin <ptulin@gmail.com> wrote:

It is not about them – it is about you. You let hate and anger consume you. I am trying to save your soul but you are being an ass about it. Let it go bro, you will feel much better. I barely know them as well, I never met you too. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, it’s life

http://youtu.be/91OQwco7a58

(Author’s note – this is the new narcissist tactic. I don’t know who started it, but they think songs on youtube will evoke some sort of emotional response that will allow them to regain control. I know for a fact this works on women. It doesn’t work on ME. Once I have cut all empathy off from you, NOTHING you do or say affects me.)

From: Hector Barrientos-Bullock [mailto:hectorbmail@xxx.com] 
Sent: Wednesday, August 14, 2013 5:46 PM
To: Pawel Tulin
Cc: Chris Exeris
Subject: Re: Figure it out yet?

You have the mentality of a 14 year old girl.
I have never had more fun than I am having right now.
I have sparred against award winning psychiatrists, and WON.
But you?
Your limitless idiocy is the most fun I have EVER had.
Such perfect displays of collective narcissism.
Such perfectly textbook displays of borderline sociopathy.

The flailing in searching for something, ANYTHING, that you THINK might actually HURT me.

What was it the Joker said?

“there is nothing, NOTHING, that you can do to me.”

Ania calls herself Mukti?

You have no idea.

I am free from care of social status, of friends, of desire, of loneliness, of everything.

THAT is “mukti”, by definition.

Welcome to viewing a state none of you shall EVER achieve.

I not only do not NEED anyone, I do not WANT anyone.

Mukti.

And you thought you would school ME in buddhism?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Karma.

Do you know what that is?

All of you, including Ania and Chris, think you can outsmart or outrun your karma.

I am the karma she is attempting to outrun.

She thought it was about money when it’s always been about morality and integrity.

Seems you all have that mentality of

“I can do it to you, how DARE you be hurt by what I did, how DARE you expect me to be responsible for it, and how DARE you even THINK to do it to me!!!!”

I never say this, but I will say it now:

I am SMARTER than you.

I am quicker than you.

I am more resourceful than ALL of you, as you have learned.

You think that “he’s a bully” game plays when the blog went up?

No.

It lost all it’s validity.

It’s not about me, it’s about YOU.

(I even knew, as I told the last phone call I had about this conversation, that you would respond, just because I said you backed off.)

You are NOBODY, but really want desperately to be somebody.

I am happy with being nobody, while everyone wants me to be somebody.

if you had not blocked me, you would see how many more support me against people like you EVERYDAY.

So far it’s at least 1,400

There are more pages about narcissism appearing everyday.

There are more blogs about people like YOU, EVERY DAY.

Your time is over.

Now just be prepared to read all about this in the blog.

Accept defeat.

Maybe then you might actually know freedom.

  • (Author’s note – to understand this line, I must digress for a moment to here –
  • Pawel ArThou     you are just an idiot than
  • Shiva Bodhi Dharma     No. I’m fed up. I have no patience for cluster b personality disorders and will hit them where it hurts the most.
    Nor do I have patience for manipulators.
  • Pawel ArThou     bro – I am offering you a free session, just because I see your struggle, you either choose to be a free man or you will suffer for long
    you can’t win, let me show you how to have some grace
    I have been there
    (Author’s note – Do we not see I just let him know he was attempting to manipulate me, AND HE STILL TRIES TO ANYWAY????)
  • Shiva Bodhi Dharma     I do not want a session. I want the means to end the problems that are Ania Ziolkowska, my wife, and Chris “Exeris” Sevanick. Nothing else has value to me. Actually, neither do they. However taking the fight to them I do value. And apparently they can’t win either. You may wish to ask them how their friend Eva Annika Backstrom fared with the Maryland States Attorney.
  • 3:00pm

    Shiva Bodhi Dharma     Eventually they will figure out I am smarter and quicker than they could ever dream of being. They haven’t figured that out yet. Good day.
  • Pawel Icon 23:05pm

    Pawel ArThou     you should not focus how to hurt them, you should focus how to make your life beautiful, you should focus to be love and friend, just take a big breath my friend, we will talk once you let it go, I will help you and intro you to great people, maybe you will get her back but chances are – you will not want her anymore either…. just take a deep breath firsts and be impartial for a moment….
  • Shiva Bodhi Dharma     I should focus in what’s healthiest for ME, and letting them get away with it is not healthy for me or anyone. It never was. That’s how it got here. That’s how ANYINE gets here. You may want to look up doctor Joyce brothers article entitle “don’t be so quick to forgive”. It applies. I don’t want her back. She had a child that Is more than likely not mine, she is and was deceptive, a gold digger, a liar, abusive, manipulative, without empathy of any kind except for herself.

    Why would I want someone like that back?

    Are you seriously thinking that? Is that what everyone believes???

    There’s a saying I learned in Seattle:

    “Girl, you are not that bomb.”

    And she is not.

    But she DID steal ten years of my life, and followed that with destroying what was left and then stole every dream I ever had, trying to be me, lying and deceiving the entire time.

    And all your friends know them, so how the hell would or should I trust ANY of them, or consider them “great”?

    – end Author’s note.)

On Aug 14, 2013, at 18:20, “Pawel Tulin” <ptulin@gmail.com> wrote:

Dude – keep my out of it or I will kick your ass

Dude – to start with – you are officially band from Poland forever, do not ever go there because you will never come back unless in body bag, and I promise you that

From: Hector Virgilio Barrientos-Bullock [mailto:hectorbmail@xxx.com] 
Sent: Wednesday, August 14, 2013 7:02 PM
To: <ptulin@gmail.com> Cc: Chris Exeris
Subject: Re: Figure it out yet?

By the way, physical threat of violence over email?

TWICE?

Thank you.

^_^

Sent from my iPhone

At this point, we can see several things –

  1. Pawel, who has a degree in psychology, knows nothing about psychology.
    I have an associates degree in accounting, and have put very little effort in out playing him at every turn.
    How?
    I know how cultists think. They think like Narcissists and Sociopaths, also known as Anti Social Personality Disorder.
    How?
    Ania Ziolkowska.
    A decade with her and anyone would be a FOOL to not understand how a sociopath thinks.
  2. As with most Sociopaths, and the cult indoctrinated, and even Narcissists, his bag of tricks and tools are limited to what he knows has worked on others. In the case of Pawel, he is limited to manipulation, intimidation, attempts at subterfuge, and then blatant intimidation. He can’t think outside the box of his experience. A robot.
    “This worked on other people. This has to work on him…..eventually.”
    WRONG.
    (If you do business with him, take notes. This is how you outmaneuver him in negotiations.)
  3. As with any cult, which functions on “Collective Narcissism”, they will do anything, ANYTHING, to protect the “ingroup”, which in this case is an abusive Anti Social Personality Disorder that is committing adultery.
  4. In the protection of the “ingroup”, they can have done no wrong, and therefore the outlier, or “outgroup”, must always be the party at fault.
  5. In the textbook manner of ALL Cluster B’s, they need to keep their abuses PRIVATE, hence the fear of this blog, and the threats to me, due to it’s mere existence.

Now, I know what is being said –

“How does this prove psytrance cultism?”
Remember, this is merely the “introduction”, utilizing Pawel as a way to introduce you to how cultists in this community think.
I want you to recognize the association of this mindset and behavior, the pontificated claims of spirituality COMBINED with this behavior, and it’s association to Narcissism, Collective Narcissism, and Anti Social Personality Disorders.
In the next part, we will again visit personal interactions, taking a break from Pawel Tulin, and associate Psytrance Culture with other, more prominent, cults.I will leave this here, as it is getting late, for you to ponder, until the next entry to this series…….

Vipassana – Buddhist & Yogic cultism at its worst…..Part 1

  1. When students meet each other, one of the first questions they ask each other is if the other is a new student, and if not, how many retreats one has undergone. There is a visible humility in the other if one replies with a high enough number. Then the next question is where one has done the retreats. Some centers are considered better (having better “vibrations” or management) than others. The highest-ranking centers are in Igatpuri, Jaipur and
     Sonepat. There are long waiting lists for Igatpuri and the Sonepat center is only for old students or for long courses. The Vipassana enrollment forms also ask this question (the number of courses). 11 They ask another curious question which will be dealt with hereunder.

  2. It is considered significant if someone has done a course under the live guidance of Mr Goenka or his wife (called respectfully as Mataji). Again, it might be considered an important factor in one’s practice to have been taught by Mr Goenka and to have received his vibrations and goodwill in close quarters. ~ 

    “A Critique of Vipassana Meditation as taught by Mr S N Goenka”, Harmanjit Singh, July 20, 2007

Chris FroehlichinderWelt

Chris FroehlichinderWelt


“Or someone might join a club, be initiated into a particular organization because he feels starved, worthless. The group is fat and wealthy and he wants someone to feed him. He gets fed and becomes fat as he expected, but then what? Who is deceiving whom? Is the teacher or guru deceiving himself, expanding his ego?

“I have such a large flock of followers who have been initiated.”

Or is he deceiving his students, leading them to believe that they have become wiser, more spiritual, simply because they have committed themselves to his organization and have been labeled monks, yogis, whatever titles they may have received?

There are so many different titles to receive.

Do these names, credentials bring us any real benefit?

Do they really?

Half an hour’s ceremony does not bring us to the next stage of enlightenment; let’s face facts.

I personally have tremendous devotion to and faith in the Buddhist lineage and the power of the teachings, but not in a simple-minded way.” 

~ Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche, “Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism”

I was initially asked to begin a series concerning Psytrance and the inherent cultism within it, however after much deliberation, it has been determined that series cannot be properly written until another form of cultism is addressed – Vipassana

This will be in two parts, as I realize it will be difficult to address this in one and maintain the attention span of readers, as the subject matter is vast.

Vipassana is a very artful approach to cultism.

It utilizes this myth that it is the meditation method the Buddha utilized to gain enlightenment  –

“However, it is not Samatha meditation that is the most popular type of Buddhist meditation; the most widely used form today is Vipassana or Mindfulness meditation. Vipassana is also referred to as Insight meditation, because through its practice one is supposed to develop penetrating insight into the true nature of reality. Buddha explained that through Vipassana, which literally means through insight, one should gain the wisdom that brings you freedom from the blindness of ignorance.

However, and here is where it becomes the artful manipulation that draws you in to cultism, the practice of how it is taught today is where it becomes the first steps into what becomes cultism –

“These days, Vipassana/Mindfulness meditation is practiced by the practitioner having the intention to be an impartial observer of some natural process occurring within his or her body, mind or emotions. For example, one is asked to just observe or be mindful of the rising and falling of the abdomen during the process of breathing, or to just impartially observe the incoming and outgoing of the breath itself.

Another popular form of this meditation is to mindfully observe the body in the natural act of walking or during the process of standing up or sitting down. The key element is to try to be continuously aware of whatever process is taking place without in any way interfering with or reacting to, either positively or negatively, the process that is occurring in the moment.

The idea is to try to be fully aware of the raw experience that is always happening and transforming by noting and letting go of each arising and subsiding sensation. This practice is supposed to bring one deep insight, perfect wisdom, into the ultimate reality of the true nature of existence in both its conditioned and unconditioned states.

Unfortunately, this attempt to develop and obtain Insight through the practice of trying to be an impartial observer is not a right method. The reason for this is that the impartial observer, which alone is capable of right mindfulness and genuine Insight, is the fully-awakened state of Nirvana Itself.

The true impartial observer is never the attention or mind that is attempting to watch a process. The reason for this is that this very attempt is a part of the process itself; it is not outside the process.”

~ Dr. Evan Finkelstein, “The Buddha’s Meditation”, Elephant Journal

Or, conversely, we can look at Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche’s very astute view of the exact same thing –

“We might attempt to imitate certain spiritual paths, such as the American Indian path or the Hindu path or the Japanese Zen Buddhist path. We might abandon our suits and collars and ties, our belts and trousers and shoes in an attempt to follow their example. Or we may decide to go to northern India in order to join the Tibetans. We might wear Tibetan clothing and adopt Tibetan customs. This will seem to be the

“hard way,” because there will always be obstacles and temptations to distract us from our purpose.”

~ Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche, “Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism”

Now, and please correct me if I am wrong, but this seems to be more about self fulfillment than self awareness, about stimulus than about enlightenment, about, and I know we’ve been here before, THE “Id”!! 

Or, as Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche would state –

Ego is able to convert everything to its own use, even spirituality. For example, if you have learned of a particularly beneficial meditation technique of spiritual practice, then ego’s attitude is, first to regard it as an object of fascination and, second to examine it. Finally, since ego is seeming solid and cannot really absorb anything, it can only mimic.

Thus ego tries to examine and imitate the practice of meditation and the meditative way of life. When we have learned all the tricks and answers of the spiritual game, we automatically try to imitate spirituality, since real involvement would require the complete elimination of ego, and actually the last thing we want to do is to give up the ego completely.

However, we cannot experience that which we are trying to imitate; we can only find some area within the bounds of ego that seems to be the same thing. Ego translates everything in terms of its own state of health, its own inherent qualities. It feels a sense of great accomplishment and excitement at having been able to create such a pattern. At last it has created a tangible accomplishment, a confirmation of its own individuality.”

~ Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche, “Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism”

This dove tails nicely into another, more in-depth study and critique of the Vipassana practice, by Harmanjit Singh, which will be referenced exhaustively in this series –

“First of all, this is a dissociative meditation practice with the professed (intermediate) goal of making one the detached observer of phenomena rather than an involved party. This may sound fine to people ingrained in the eastern religions, as in eastern philosophies the world is considered a mirage or an appearance. The Self (or the Soul) is considered a non- material observational entity, whose liberation is sought from any link to this world of suffering towards a timeless, formless, sense-less world (called Heaven, Nirvana, the Void, etc.).

Mr Goenka is very emphatic in saying that most people, though they believe themselves to be neither the body, nor the carriers of the body, nevertheless are identified as being the body or as being the carriers of the body. His aim is to make this act of belief an insight, rather than just a belief, by actually helping people see the truth of the mind-body phenomenon. He does not, however, question or raise the issue of who or what exactly it is that is to be liberated?

The Soul that is identified with the body or which considers itself the body is sought to be liberated. But whether the Soul is real or illusory or not is not questioned. Only its identification is questioned. Mr Goenka repeat- edly claims that it makes no difference if one believes or does not believe in a Soul, but dissociative practices all implicitly believe in an entity (or awareness) which can be dissociated. Mr Goenka explictly discourages discussion about this topic.

As in all spiritual disciplines, the focus is on getting rid of the ego, or self with the small “s”, and becoming the All, the Complete, or the Self with the capital “S”. In Buddhist terminology, the journey is phrased in other terms, from Ignorance and Attachment to Liberation, but the essence remains the same.

Two thousand years of dissociative spiritual practices in India have chang- ed the psyche of its people so deeply that they genuinely consider this earth and the universe as a subjective creation with their only loyalty or faith (howsoever half-baked) in some God or in some other non-physical realm. Hence, they regard any occurrence in the outside world only with as much importance as it interferes with their own life. The awareness that there are other subjective entities, and the civic responsibility and order this awareness implies, is understandably absent in Indian society. The Indian psyche is already dissociated from the world to some extent.

Dissociative practices, which claim to make one the pure observer, are very attractive to the Indian mind, which finds suffering all around and wants an individual, solipsistic and non-material way to find happiness, howsoever illusory.

In modern psychiatry, dissociation is treated as a disorder. Depersonalization disorder is a specific illness under the category of dissociative disorders in the fourth edition of DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Man- ual, the world standard in psychiatry).

  • Patients with this dissociative disorder experience episodes during which they feel detached from themselves. They may experience themselves or their surroundings as unreal. They may feel outside or lacking control of themselves. They retain awareness that this is only a feeling.
    Diagnostic criteria for 300.6 Depersonalization Disorder
  • A. Persistent or recurrent experiences of feeling detached from, and as if one is an outside observer of, one’s mental pro- cesses or body (e.g., feeling like one is in a dream).

The questions to ask are: Am “I” the problem for this body or is this body the problem for “I”? Do “I” need to get rid of any linkage to this body or does this body need freedom from the clutches of an ego entity or Being which calls itself the self or the Self.

Vipassana and other dissociative practices seek to get the body out of the way of “I” so that “I” can dwell in a body-less realm of peace and happiness. The problem of suffering is quite real. But the solution might be quite different than dissociating from this world.”

As it is now becoming a bit long, and I still have not gotten into the “reality TV” or “cultish” aspects of this, I will merely begin to illustrate the practice here. As one can see above, and I will admit this is skipping ahead in the critique, the practice, as it is taught, edges dangerously close to psychological disorder territory.

It seems to train one to become a sociopath, with no “attachment” to THEMSELVES, much less anyone else in their lives

I will admit, this is not my best work, however, the stage is set, preparing us for the next chapter, which will include a much further in depth dissection, as well as email exchanges between a blindly following vipassana convert, and myself, which is ironic, as this person spoke with such vitriol against christianity and catholicism, only to fall rank and file into not one, but SEVEN cults, incestuously intermeshed with one another.

Ironically the same number as “the seven deadly sins”……

Toxic – Lack of Empathy and the Demonic State of Egohood

People can say anything. It's what you DO that matters.

People can say anything. It’s what you DO that matters.

I have a MULTITUDE of articles to write that I am WAY behind on, due to needing to complete my TESOL course before I run out of time, however, I was actually REQUESTED to write this one, due to others having experienced SIMILAR behavior from the subjects of this particular one.

I will admit that not ALL of my articles are directly involved with “spiritual” or “yogic” peoples, however, as those are aspects of society and the modern human condition, even this applies, as the additional subjects of this blog ARE involved with these people, and thus it illustrates the type of people these frauds attract.

In the end, whether “spiritual” or regular person, the behaviors are the same……

We should note that my history with BeBe goes back to 2010, while she did not meet Ania Ziolkowska or Chris Sevanick until 2012, therefore we can see where Narcissistic Personality Disorder takes precedent, IF the CONSTANT need for ATTENTION (and complete lack of empathy) was not already OBVIOUS…..

“Bebe bellamont??
Even with My limited dealings with Bebe i am not surprised i have no respect for her at all..And yes people are their drama
Please do! [expose her]  She is toxic
Bebe blocked me years ago when she was friends with my ex wife….I called her out on trying to worsen my split with ****** by feeding her a bunch of lies about me fucking a lot of rave hoes.which I wasnt, I was torn up over the seperation…stupid bitch LOL”
~ Anonymous

The provider of that experience asked to remain, anonymous, and I will respect their wishes, but is one of several that asked me to write and provide what is being provided here (links are provided for additional reference) –
BeBe S Bellamont & Rafael Rodriguez, people ARE their drama.

Attention whores and backstabbers

Attention whores and backstabbers

  • Can you do me a favor? If you see my wife at the massive, slap the shit out of her for me. LMAO!!!
    She’ll probably be hanging with a bunch of hoopers.
    Her name is Ania.
  • November 27, 2011
  • awwww! Sorry I just got this message!!!
  • No worries. I was half joking anyway.
    Hope you had a good time.
  • November 27, 2011
  • Yes I need to see you guys soon! I would have loved to have seen her! xoxox
    (Author’s note – This establishes that BeBe already KNOWS all the players involved.)
  • Today
  • bebe slut icon 16:19pm BeBe S. Bellamont
    why would i unfriend you
  • 6:20pm Shiva Bodhi Dharma
    Read it and you’ll see.
    Takes about an hour.
  • bebe slut icon 16:20pm BeBe S. Bellamont
    i dont have time but i will try to skim
    (Author’s note – She’s FEIGNING ignorance. She already KNOWS all of this.)
  • 6:20pm Shiva Bodhi Dharma
    It’s pretty revealing.
    It’s significant due to Rafael.
    (Author’s Note – Rafael is a photographer for Plurlife.com, and also the personal photographer for Chris Sevanick, as well as HER BOYFRIEND.)
  • 6:22pm Shiva Bodhi Dharma
    Associations.
    You’ll see.
    That’s all I can say. The rest is in it.
  • so you are an abusive drug adict to them
    (Author’s note – She hasn’t even READ anything yet, SHE ALREADY KNOWS the baseless rumors they spread, because she’s been helping spread them.)
  • 6:25pm Shiva Bodhi Dharma
    Then just skip to the conversation.
    You’ll see how that’s not true and they know it.
    And “them” is my WIFE and Chris, who used to be a friend.
    Gotta love it.
    (Author’s note – Remember this point. It’s important later….)
  • bebe slut icon 16:25pm BeBe S. Bellamont
    sorry i just dont know where to skip to
    (Author’s note – Didn’t she just navigate this thing a SECOND ago???)
  • 6:25pm Shiva Bodhi Dharma
    I can’t tell you everything. You have to hear it from their own mouths.
  • bebe slut icon 16:25pm BeBe S. Bellamont
    i am wayy tired
    (Author’s not – This way she can pretend to not know.)
  • 6:25pm Shiva Bodhi Dharma
    Don’t read it today. Get back to it.
    (Author’s note – Just gave her an “out”. Let’s see what happens.)
  • bebe slut icon 16:25pm BeBe S. Bellamont
    sorry i am sorry i just really dont feel like going through the whole thing
    i am sorry this is going on
    (Author’s note – Remember THIS point, as it REALLY becomes important later.)
  • 6:27pm Shiva Bodhi Dharma
    It’s not my fault they spent three hours trying to manipulate me. That’s what happens when someone tries to force their lies to be true.
    The irony is that it comes out if their own mouths. Anyone that reads it all the way through….well, skip to the comment section on the bottom. None of those comments have been edited. They’re what people have said. That’s not including private chats with me.
  • bebe slut icon 16:27pm BeBe S. Bellamont
    i dont pass judgment on people based on their drama. i make my own descions
    (Author’s note – And THIS becomes the MOST important of all. Firstly because she’s been spreading rumors for Ania Ziolkowska & Chris Sevanick, but also because it’s a common line used by NPD’s. Also, people ARE their “drama”.)
  • 6:28pm Shiva Bodhi Dharma
    Lets you know what the people you know are REALLY like.
    But what bothers me most is that people I know KNEW and said nothing to me.
    However, if it were THEM they would have hated me for not telling them.
    It’s the hypocrisy that disgusts me.
    (Author’s note – This was also a test for HER to see if she was really like what everyone told me she IS. Seems she IS.)
  • bebe slut icon 16:28pm BeBe S. Bellamont
    drama sucks period
    (Author’s Note – It’s ALWAYS the ones that say this that cause the most drama.)
  • 6:29pm Shiva Bodhi Dharma
    No. Hypocrisy sucks worse. It’s unforgivable.
  • bebe slut icon 16:29pm BeBe S. Bellamont
    that is drama lol
    (Author’s Note – She KNOWS I’m talking about HER. She’s doing that ditzy airhead thing that Ania Ziolkowska ALSO does.)
  • 6:30pm Shiva Bodhi Dharma
    But not drama I created.
    It’s created by those that say they hate drama.
    Look, friends would tell friends information that’s important to them.
    (Author’s note – Let’s see what she does with this…..)
  • i know you are still involved not saying you caused it i am just being empatheci
    (Author’s note – Firstly, WHAT???? So, you’re ADMITTING you KNOW??? Secondly, well, that’s explained in the next line….)


  • 6:31pm Shiva Bodhi Dharma
    That’s what I have Always done, even if the person would have hated me in the end.
    There’s a need to know.
    This is worse because she’s my wife and he was my friend.
    Therefore that’s not empathy. It’s….I won’t say what it is.
    Empathy is putting yourself in someone else’s shoes.
    Not telling someone is NOT empathy.
    You have the evidence. I’m suing Chris for slander. That is all.
  • Good day.

    Seen 8:28 PM

She tries to put on a good “SHOW” of it, though.

http://www.today.com/id/30312181/ns/today-today_books/t/me-me-me-americas-narcissism-epidemic/#.UaPT45UyRML

“After all, the thinking goes, fourteen-year-old Megan wouldn’t post revealing pictures of herself on MySpace if she had higher self-esteem.
So parents redouble their efforts, telling Megan she’s special, beautiful, and great.
This is like suggesting that an obese person would feel much better if she just ate more doughnuts.
Megan wants everyone to see just how beautiful and special she is, and it’s not because she thinks she is ugly — it’s because she thinks she’s hot and, perhaps more importantly, because she lives in a narcissistic society where she might garner praise, status, and “friends” by displaying blatant sexuality.”
~ Dr. Jean M Twenge, PhD , “The Narcissism Epidemic”