Yogis are not Saints – Ania Ziolkowska / Ania Anicca and her network of spies and stalkers

Ania Ziolkowska  would like to think she’s a crafty one.
However, she’s not as crafty as she thinks.

Example –

Amy Roman, Spying for Ania Ziolkowska / Ania Anicca - Why do people even DO this????

Amy Roman, Stalking for Ania Ziolkowska / Ania Anicca – Why do people even DO this????

If we’re wondering who Shiva Ka Li is, she’s a friend named Lauren Bautista, whom I met in Hong Kong, several years ago, who now lives in Singapore.

But she’s not important to this matter.

Who really IS of concern is Amy Roman

Amy Roman and Ania Ziolkowska / Ania Anicca are "FRIENDS" Proof of Ania Ziolkowska sending people to spy on me

Amy Roman and Ania Ziolkowska / Ania Anicca are “FRIENDS”
Proof of Ania Ziolkowska sending people to spy on me

Or are Amy Roman and Ania Ziolkowska the same person?

See, it seems Amy Roman elected to recently begin to “follow” my friend, Shiva Ka Li, which really means try to spy (stalk me) for Ania Ziolkowska, my wife, whom is supposedly happy in her adulterous relationship with Chris M Sevanick, also known as Chris Exeris of Grains of Sound (a failing side project), and Mindless Faith (a project that seems to have done infinitely better WITHOUT HIS INVOLVEMENT)

Basically, if you’re happy in your current relationship, why are you getting people to spy on the husband you’ve been cheating on?
Especially since Ania Ziolkowska so vehemently stated, in April, how she was not concerned with anything in my life. 

This is not the first time Ania Ziolkowska has done this. Back in 2011 Ania Ziolkowska created a Facebook profile named “Haleigh Clairee” to spy on me directly, on my page, saying she had gone to the University of Georgia, and that she had learned to hoop in Virginia, so I gave her a show.
Instead of doing the right thing, she continued her adulterous relationship with Chris Exeris.

In all reality, they seem to actually be the same exact person, as Amy Roman and Ania Ziolkowska “speak” exactly the same in writing. 

Ania Ziolkowska / Ania Anicca doing the Yoga Barbie Doll I saw through 13 years ago

Ania Ziolkowska / Ania Anicca doing the Yoga Barbie Doll I saw through 13 years ago

I usually do not care what goes on, on Ania’s facebook page, and merely type the link (mostly because I can’t believe Ania STILL calls herself “Mukti“) in the blog, as a hyperlink, however, a dream last night made me get up and check something, which brought me this current discovery.

This is middle school behaviour.

Childish, juvenile, and just plain sad.

I’ve instructed my friend to check her “followers”, and block anyone that seems “questionable”, to her.

If Ania Ziolkowska wants to know what’s going on in my life, she will have to do it herself, not continue to hide behind sock puppets.

Our next blog concerning Ania Ziolkowska will be about how she is supposedly a yoga instructor, but the only one anyone has ever seen that has GAINED subcutaneous fat, while most female instructors LOSE it.



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Psytrance Cultism – Grains of Sound: Delusions of Grandeur

What you just heard isn’t “Grains of Sound”, but it was put here to make a point.

I made that.

I am a novice, just beginning in the electronic music scene, at least as a producer. I’ve been a dancer since 1993, in nearly every genre of electronic dance music there is, from house, breaks, to gabber hardcore, to, yes, even psytrance (though I’ve left that scene behind).

This will be a first HONEST review of the one man act known as “Grains of Sound”.

First……that NAME!!!
Seriously, let’s just think about that name. What, and I mean what, if anything, would anyone think when hearing that name?
I personally think of fingernails across a black board, but that’s just me.

Any sound that seems granular also seems ABRASIVE, like SAND PAPER.

It really comes from “Granular Synthesis”, the most simplistic technique any DJ or producer can use.

So simple, it’s actually a core component of every single DAW ever made.

To stake an entire career on something so simplistic, in an industry that is constantly evolving, is very telling.

But let’s move on……

Here we see that Grains of Sound is advertising both their New Year‘s Eve show, in Berlin, and their [supposed] European “Tour”(Poland. It’s mostly Poland).

Let’s look at the New Years Eve Show –

Grains of Sound - New Year's Eve JOKE

Grains of Sound – New Year’s Eve JOKE

The show in question is being done at this BARR19 , in Berlin, Germany.

Now, let’s look at other information about the party in question, specifically, the line up –

What's that? Do you see it?

What’s that? Do you see it?

Now, I know it may not be immediately apparent, so we’ll bring it a little closer –

Still not seeing it?

Still not seeing it?

Okay, we know it’s not immediately apparent, so we shall point out the glaring fact to you –

NOW do you see it?

NOW do you see it?

See, I don’t know about anyone else, but this is New Year’s Eve, and it’s also Europe, where things begin MUCH LATER than the United States, except for maybe New York City, Los Angeles, and Vegas.
However, also realize this is nearly right after midnight.

Who is going to be in the Chill Out Room that early?


That’s the truth.
Most will still be dancing to something more lively and not giving a damn about chilling out.
Let’s face it – Most people won’t even show up till near midnight as it is.

However, and this is the most hilarious aspect:

There’s a much LARGER event happening on the same night, in the same city, in the SAME GENRE. 

This is happening the Same time as Grains of Sound, in Berlin, on NYE 2013

This is happening the Same time as Grains of Sound, in Berlin, on NYE 2013

This is happening the Same time as Grains of Sound, in Berlin, on NYE 2013

This is happening the Same time as Grains of Sound, in Berlin, on NYE 2013

Now, I don’t know about YOU, but if I’m supposedly on a “European Tour”, I would think I would be going where I would get THE MOST EXPOSURE, right???

The definition of “Delusions of Grandeur” is –

Grains of Sound: Delusions of Grandeur

Grains of Sound: Delusions of Grandeur

And he utilizes lies and deception.
I have been to Playa Del Fuego. And I especially went to Playa Del Fuego in the fall of 2013 (Spoiler alert!!! PDF never occurs in August. It has two dates: Labor Day weekend and Memorial Day weekend). In August of 2013, Chris Exeris was in Poland with Ania Anicca / Ania Ziolkowska.
So how does he have a picture claiming to be at PDF at the same exact time???

Chris trying to lure the burner crowd He's NEVER played Playa Del Fuego

Chris trying to lure the burner crowd
He’s NEVER played Playa Del Fuego

It’s another lie. A deception, trying to sway the Burner crowd, to say “Look! I’m one of you!!!”  in hopes it will get him more bookings.

Which, of course, reflects Narcissistic Personality Disorder quite well, doesn’t it?

Chris Exeris Sevanick - Grains of Sound

Chris Exeris Sevanick – Grains of Sound

We all hope you are laughing at this as much as we are.
Our next installment will show how this is New York City all over again, and show additional pictures as to how Grains of Sound never had anyone show up to their shows, with pictures of him playing to empty fields, with only Ania Ziolkowska watching……

Ania Ziokowska essentially the only one watching Chris Exeris play his Grains of Sound set at an outdoor festival called Respect Gatherings

Ania Ziokowska essentially the only one watching Chris Exeris play his Grains of Sound set at an outdoor festival called Respect Gatherings August 2013
Apparently his “celebrity” status makes Ania Ziolkowska more devoted than she was to ANYONE else

Happy Holidaze!!!


Seems Grains of Sound / Chris Exeris, was NOT invited back to the Life Celebration Festival –

Chris not invited back to the Life Celebration Festival for 2014

Chris not invited back to the Life Celebration Festival for 2014


Seems we were correct.
Anyone with a Facebook account can see that, as we suspected, barely anyone showed up for Grains of Sound’s set.

One last thing –

Chris Sevanick (Exeris) is a chill out producer.
That’s right, chill out.

To make a point as to how simple it is to make chill out, I made this track today. It’s not complete, since it needs editing and some EQ, however, using NO STOCK SAMPLES, and keying every note in with my Nektar Panorama P6, this was the result –

Try stepping into my arena, Chris.
Try making HOUSE

You know……something that requires more than knowledge of a few chords and the ability to add ambient filler to make the rest of a “song”……..

Every time I listen to one of his tracks, I think he’s taken stock footage from a George Lucas film.
When they fire up the Deathstar to fire on the Rebel Planet?

Just like that.


Psytrance Cultism – Herd Mentality: The “Hive Mind”

Recently there has been a war concerning Ania Ziolkowska and Chris Exeris Sevanick.
It seems that their recent trip to Poland has “emboldened” them, makes them feel “untouchable”
Or, more accurately, they are probably running into opposition, socially, in Poland, and do not want to recognize that it is their own personalities are to blame.

So, lately, they have taken to a campaign of reporting every single little post they can on facebook, attempting to protect their “image”
This is ironic, as they actually have no real personality of their own. They have a manufactured image they have compiled from their interactions with others.
They’re incapable of ever knowing their true selves –

NARCISSISTS ARE PEOPLE WHO never learned to make it on their own. Except for their fantasies of perfection, envy of others who have what they lack, and unacknowledged fears of humiliation, they are empty on the inside. They have no real Self to bring to a relationship with another person, but they desperately need someone else to join them in their emptiness and help them maintain emotional equilibrium. The ideal candidate is someone willing to become an extension of the Narcissist’s fragile ego, to serve as an object of admiration, contempt, or often enough both. The sign over their door ought to read: Abandon Self All Ye Who Enter Here.

– Hotchkiss (pg. 121)

An example of their current debacle of narcissism is this very public display of attempted character assassination

He doesn't like drama, but he makes this post? Narcissists are DRAMA QUEENS

He doesn’t like drama, but he makes this post?
Narcissists are DRAMA QUEENS

Really? This isn't drama?

This isn’t drama?

The hypocrisy alone, in this entire display is nothing less than hilarious.

“People need to get on with their own lives, instead of worrying about others…..”


The thing that is prevalent in cults, and narcissists, besides their toxic vitriol, is the fact they project.
They do EXACTLY  what they call out in other people as “wrong”, yet somehow do not see THEY ARE DOING PRECISELY THE SAME THING THEMSELVES

And let’s not forget how the lying and duplicitous drama king himself, Chris “Exeris” Sevanick, chimes in his two cents.

Let’s clear some things up, as, it is obvious they believe the lies Chris Sevanick and Ania Ziolkowska have fed them –

1. Ania Ziolkowska is my WIFE. We are still married, as she freely admitted in the linked conversation. And she ran to Poland to keep from having to pay damages in a divorce.


Remember “Collective Narcissism” (Herd Mentality)?
Well, here you go.
And thank you for believing I can affect the future of Grains of Sound




















  1. I cannot affect the fate of Grains of Sound, Chris Sevanick’s failing side project, though I will admit I am flattered they believe I can.
    The only one that can affect it’s fate is Chris Exeris, and he’s doing just fine on his own in ensuring it will go nowhere (that will be addressed in another blog)
  2. Chris Sevanick resents that I have been able to achieve more attention with my blogs and posts than he has been able to in the EIGHT YEARS he has been doing Grains of Sound.

There’s a conversation with Kaliptus Ohm that will be the subject of the next entry in the series, where he’s asked to just ask Chris Sevanick for the original of the conversation featured in the “Id-the Ego of Maya” blog, however, he merely continues to call me a liar, rather than verify the truth.

Then he just removed the post entirely.

They don’t want to know reality.
Then they would be wrong.
And, as we previously discussed, a narcissist can never be wrong.

Chris Exeris Sevanick isn't a bad guy? Really? We should look at the

Chris Exeris Sevanick isn’t a bad guy? Really?
We should look at the “Id – The ego of Maya” blog to confirm that.

Grains of Sound - your future is in my hands......apparently

Because Putting Ohm at the end of your name, and then doing what you just said you hated isn’t hypocritical at all………….Grains of Sound – your future is in my hands……apparently

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The Covert Narcissist – The Chameleon

We are constantly attempting to give REAL examples of Narcissism, Spiritual Narcissism, and Covert Stealth Narcissism. Above is a video that illustrates the most dangerous, and the most PREVALENT form of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, of which Ania Ziolkowska is a prime example of –

Ania Ziolkowska / Ania Anicca holds at least SIX of these nine traits

Ania Ziolkowska / Ania Anicca holds at least SIX of these nine traits

Ania Ziolkowska Destroys and runs. Here she is dancing at Riou, In queens, at Psychill Psysundays. Ania Ziolkowska Knocked out my teeth, then

Ania Ziolkowska Destroys and runs. Here she is dancing at Riou, In queens, at Psychill Psysundays.
Ania Ziolkowska Knocked out my teeth, then “punished” herself by jumping on another dick, and partying around New York City.

It should be said, that BOTH Ania Ziolkowska and Chris “Exeris” Sevanick have made every effort for this to not be known, including attempted defamation of character of myself, the author (which they have backed away from, now that the most famous entry on Id exists) because, as with any Covert Stealth Narcissist, they need to maintain

“Their overt behavior projects an innocent, angel-like,good as gold persona which builds them a credible and faultless reputation yet they fail to reach their true potential due to their own self-doubt.”

Covert Narcissists, of which both Ania Ziolkowska, and Chris “Exeris” Sevanick are, are damaging, without empathy, opportunistic, and what we would all consider the exact description of “evil” The most pitiful aspect of this disorder is something we would consider so simple, yet seems so difficult, even impossible for THEM

The basic idea is that a narcissist wants to secure himself against the need to say, “Okay, I made a mistake, I was wrong.”  To a narcissist, this is a fate worse than death, and many narcissists quite literally suffer death to avoid the possibility. Normal people are willing to be found wrong, over and over again, because this is in the nature of life. Such people expect their personal creative process to eventually bear fruit, and are willing to experiment with reality, walk paths not yet explored, sometimes stumble and fall, in the hope of contributing something new to the store of human knowledge. At some risk of oversimplification, a normal person is willing to be wrong 100 times in order to create something uniquely new and useful, while a narcissist sacrifices this opportunity, this stage of personal evolution, in order to be secure against the possibility of being found wrong.  For a normal person, being wrong is the price we pay for the creative process. For a narcissist, being wrong is too high a price to pay — better to label other people as wrong, from within an impregnable fortress of mediocrity. Unfortunately, in exchange for an infantile kind of security, narcissists sacrifice any chance to positively influence the world.

Dr. Brene Brown illustrates so eloquently something I attempted to show Ania Ziolkowska for an entire decade how to be –

This is something Ania Ziolkowska, and later, many of her mutual friends, such as Angelina Panaugua, Kirsten Norman, and Eva Annika Backstrom, began to resent me for (Ironically, it was also the more they dove into teaching of Wayne Dyer, Eckhart Tolle, “The Secret”, Ram Dass, Osho, etc, that they began to resent me more for pointing out the one thing NONE of those ever point out, which is vulnerability. The one thing all of them refuse to acknowledge.)

Even their friends in New York City, now that Ania and Chris have left to Warsaw, Poland, to live in the apartment that Ania and I were meant to raise our children in (it’s all revenge tactics, designed to hurt me, for not letting Ania Ziolkowska have her way) are now willing to come out and say, honestly, what they think of them.

Charlee Zee Monkee's opinion of Ania / Ania Anicca and Chris Exeris

Charlee Zee Monkee’s opinion of Ania / Ania Anicca and Chris Exeris

There is much more that can be said, however, now that I am finally getting back into the actual writing of this blog, and need to clean up the earlier entries, And my need to complete previous series, as well as an upcoming entry illustrating all the people that have thanked us for helping them through their narcissistic abuse, I will attempt to keep things concise, and end with two visual points. One humorous, and both serious.

Happy Holidaze to all.

Ania Ziolkowska / Ania Anicca - Ugly on the outside, and the inside as well

Ania Ziolkowska / Ania Anicca – Ugly on the outside, and the inside as well

Narcissistic Sociopath Traits - Ania Ziolkowksa / Ania Anicca on

Narcissistic Sociopath Traits – Ania Ziolkowksa / Ania Anicca on “E”

Narcissistic Sociopath Traits – Ania Ziolkowksa / Ania Anicca on “E”

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Holiday humor

Ania Ziolkowksa / Ania Anicca & Chris Exeris of Mindless Faith & Grains of Sound really do look like Shrek & Fiona, don't they?

Ania Ziolkowksa / Ania Anicca & Chris Exeris of Mindless Faith & Grains of Sound really do look like Shrek & Fiona, don’t they?

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The Demonic State of Egohood – A quickie

Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism by Chögy...

Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism by Chögyam Trungpa (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Ego is able to convert everything to its own use, even spirituality.For example,if you have learned of a particularly beneficial meditation technique of spiritual practice,then ego’s attitude is, first to regard it as an object of fascination and, second to examine it. Finally, since ego is seeming solid and cannot really absorb anything, it can only mimic.

Thus ego tries to examine and imitate the practice of meditation and the meditative way of life. When we have learned all the tricks and answers of the spiritual game, we automatically try to imitate spirituality, since real involvement would require the complete elimination of ego, and actually the last thing we want to do is to give up the ego completely.

However, we cannot experience that which we are trying to imitate; we can only find some area within the bounds of ego that seems to be the same thing. Ego translates everything in terms of its own state of health, its own inherent qualities. It feels a sense of great accomplishment and excitement at having been able to create such a pattern. At last it has created a tangible accomplishment, a confirmation of its own individuality.”

~ Chogyam Trungpa RinpocheCutting Through Spiritual Materialism” 

I have been working on the next part in the Vipassana Series, though I have been held back by some technical difficulties, unfortunately (recovery of emails, etc, for use in the illustration of what is being explained), however, I felt I have not made a post in a while, and though formatting is difficult, am providing a recent “quickie”, so to speak.

I will now provide the following images –

Ania Ziolkowksa / Ania Anicca doesn't understand the Yoga Sutras

Ania Ziolkowksa / Ania Anicca doesn’t understand the Yoga Sutras

This is actually amazing, for a psychological case study…..

The page in question is the following:


If anyone understands how pages work in Facebook, there is a “seen” heading on each post, that shows not only how may have seen it, but WHO sees it.

This specific page is about the yoga sutras of patanjali, and Ania Ziolkowska has “seen” every post that has been made on the page, which are verses from the sutras.

Here is where it gets interesting (and when you can know if someone has actually read the sutras, or understands them) –

The only sutras Ania has “liked” so far are also the only ones that can be misinterpreted as ego-centric.

The one and only post Ania Ziolkowska commented on is an exercise in her attempting “magic” – “Say it, and it will be true”

Ania Ziolkowska is STILL attempting to convince herself that everything she is doing, everything she has done so far, is the “right path”, or even a path at all.

Ania Ziolkowska is still attempting to convince herself that everything she gave up was for the right reasons, that it was worth giving up at all.

Ania is looking for forgiveness she doesn’t deserve because she refuses to take responsibility for what she’s done, believing there is a “path” that can avoid that “requirement”.

Ania Ziolkowska is still trying to convince herself she is “happy”.

Maybe some don’t see this, however I would deem that as interesting, due to the fact that, like a child, Ania is ruled by her Id, and has finally reached the point where the Id is all she is, which, essentially, means she’s an empty shell, with very little impulse control.

Also notice that her comment, the only one Ania Ziolkowska has provided, is “shallow”, without any deeper explanation of what the sutra means, to her?

Notice how Ania asks no questions, to gain a deeper or more clear understanding?

Essentially, what Ania Ziolkowska is practicing is a confirmation bias, brought forth by cognitive dissonance, in that she cannot relate the other sutras to herself, and therefore ignores them, as they are too difficult, just as Ania ignores any mention of Yamas – “rights”, or  Niyamas – “wrongs”

And by asking no questions, Ania protects her “Id”, by not chancing that “she”, her Id self, could possibly be wrong.

The avoidance of “Unpleasure”.

Thus taking the safe route.

Ania Ziolkowska merely wishes to be “acknowledged”, but not in a way that is actually beneficial to her.

Ania Ziolkowksa / Ania Anicca, You're fooling nobody

Ania Ziolkowksa / Ania Anicca, You’re fooling nobody

Ania Ziolkowksa / Ania Anicca on her stolen india trip. Ania knew for 10 years I wanted to go to india and kept "us" too broke to do ANYTHING

Ania Ziolkowksa / Ania Anicca on her stolen india trip. Ania knew for 10 years I wanted to go to india and kept “us” too broke to do ANYTHING


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Psytrance Cultism : Pawel “ArThou” Tulin – Demonstration of Collective Narcissism

On Aug 14, 2013, at 18:48, “Pawel Tulin” <ptulin@gmail.com> wrote:

Dude – to start with – you are officially band from Poland forever, do not ever go there because you will never come back unless in body bag, and I promise you that

Hector Virgilio Barrientos-Bullock <*********@xxx.com> Wed, Aug 14, 2013 at 7:01 PM
To: “<ptulin@gmail.com>” <ptulin@gmail.com>
Cc: Chris Exeris <Alterculture@gmail.com>
Oh my?
You control an entire country now?
I do believe there’s this thing called international relations.
You might want to look it up.
I’m sorry….seriously….hold on…:..I need to catch my breath.
My stomach hurts from laughing so much.
I’m not kidding.
Poland would not risk and international incident over your collective asinine egos.
I really had no desire at all to go there, but am now considering it, JUST to laugh in your face.
I’ll have to get back to you after I’m done laughing.
I’ve already had to correct 12 typos from typing while laughing.
That was too good!!!
Oh lord…..
Okay( what else have you in your back of delusions, oh lord and master magician?
Sent from my iPhone
Pawel Tulin <ptulin@gmail.com> Wed, Aug 14, 2013 at 7:05 PM
Reply-To: ptulin@gmail.com
To: Hector Virgilio Barrientos-Bullock <hectorbmail@xxx.com>
Cc: Chris Exeris <Alterculture@gmail.com>
You bet – I do control that country, more than you ever know – and few others – want to challenge me? I’ll buy you a ticket

Welcome to the first installment of a continuing series on Psytrance Cultism!!!
As usual, there are hyperlinks that explain terms, so follow them to have a complete understanding.
I had been hoping to complete the Vipassana Cultism series, however, due to email issues, as well as the providence of the above conversation landing in my lap, I felt it was time to put that to the back burner, for just a moment, and address a growing problem:

The misuse of Psytrance and Psytrance culture to become cultish Collective Narcissism

It’s the “Heather’s” or “Mean Girls” of the EDM (Electronic Dance Music) community.


Luis Campos, 2nd from the left, Chris “Exeris” Sevanick, far left.
This is PsychGround.
These people should NEVER reproduce.

We will focus mostly on a “collective” (pun intended) known as PyscheGround (and some members of EastCoast Psytribe), in New York City, though there may be a few diversions that reach as far as Colorado, Germany, and Poland. As you will see by the comments and discussions listed, these people are true Narcissistic Personality Disorders.

Legends in their OWN minds.

Now, before we go any further, it should be made clear that I followed psytrance as far back as when I was in the Navy, based out of Yokosuka, Japan, aboard the USS Independence CV62, way back in 1995, having been introduced to it by a “girl” friend named “Victoria”. At that time, psytrance was known as ” Goa Trance“, was artful, creative, technical, and made up of an actually caring community.

That is not what psytrance is NOW

What prompted this series, besides a multitude of reasons, is an article I saw posted a few months ago about how psytrance was the

“Religion that has no name….”

When I saw and read this article……well, before I say anything, let me provide an excerpt –

“It is, essentially, a ‘New Religious Movement’ (NRM) that is not allowed to become an organised religion. It cannot be given a name, nor can its places of communal gathering be made to explicit. It includes a great variety of belief and practice: but then the religions of Hinduism and Buddhism, even Christianity all show a great variety of forms and expressions also. It has it’s own set of texts, but none are adopted as dogma, there is no cannon: but then many of the historical forms of human spirituality did not have a cannon either. It even has its own unique forms of artistic expression and aesthetic style, rife with themes of transcendence and spiritual discovery.”

Firstly, when did popping psychedelic drugs and listening to “sub”-corporate music, become a “religious movement”???? It’s places of gathering cannot be made explicit? They post all over the internet when a show or festival is happening, they take pictures, they charge admission, they promote DJs and producers!!!!

I believe if a church did this, we would call it a SCAM, or a CULT.

But, let us visit upon that later, shall we? We do have a purpose to this PARTICULAR blog entry, after all……. It includes a great variety of practices? Maybe it does, however, not one of them understand a SINGLE ONE of those practices anywhere NEAR completely. And we shall demonstrate that as we proceed. It has it’s own sacred texts? What texts are these? A “bible” of blotter LSD? There were no “Sacred Texts” in 1995, or in the 70s, when this genre began, nor are there NOW. But no adopted dogma? I am willing to wager that as we watch this series unfold, we will learn there IS an adopted dogma, and that “dogma” is “Spiritual Narcissism”, practiced in the form of COLLECTIVE NARCISSISM. Unique forms of artistic expression?

It’s MUSIC!!! Of COURSE it’s “artistic” and “expressionistic”!!!

Though the “Unique” is debatable. You’ll have to REALLY DIG to find THAT. Let us take a quote from a German friend, via Frankfurt, the city of my birth (Please don’t mind the language difference)  –

  • June 14
  • 11:06am

     Shiva Bodhi Dharma     So, it’s sub-underground, as it is everywhere. I’ll be honest, with the mentality of the people I have seen in the psytrance scene, I pretty much see it as a virus that needs be innoculated against. They have no empathy and no sense of anyone but themselves and their cultish community. I have conversations with psytrance heads that illustrate this, and it has become more prevalent in the last 5 years. And I used to be part of that scene, until I saw that and became victim to it. They’re a bunch of pleasure seeking sociopaths.
  • 11:07am

     Flow Yo     word.
     it’s exactly the same as in germany -.-
     that’s the reason why i don’t go to events like this anymore…
  • Shiva Bodhi Dharma     So, it IS a virus that spreads across that community. I felt as much.

  • Flow Yo     and you have dumb people with many drugs in their blood

  • Shiva Bodhi Dharma     I must ask, may I use your comments in a blog I am writing on this subject?

  • Flow Yo     yeah, you can.

  • Shiva Bodhi Dharma     Thank you. That helps a lot.

  • Flow Yo     and you have some dumbass-vegetarians, that are shouting their message all over the place…

    erm, not “some”, many!
    and all this shit of pseudo-deep people
  • Shiva Bodhi Dharma     That’s ironic, as, due to Monsanto, the vegetables they eat actually have animal genes spliced into them.

  • Flow Yo nothing real psychedelic, open minded thinkers, philosophers, dumb style-people as everywhere

    after “philosophers” should be a full-stop.
  • Shiva Bodhi Dharma     Wow. This virus has spread to Europe. However I’ve noticed it’s predominantly EASTERN Europe, And I wonder why that is…..

  • Flow Yo     it’s a pity, but yeah, you can’t keep the dumb people out.

  • Shiva Bodhi Dharma     The “dumb people” seem to have become the “normal” people. And that’s scary.

  • Flow Yo     i think it’s because of some kind of narcistic. internet, the people think, if they dress like that, listen to that kind of music and eat vegetarian, they’d be a better person and so deep

     yeah, this is true…
  • Shiva Bodhi Dharma     I think you are correct.

  • Flow Yo     that they are dumb and closed mind is the fact, i think

    and they don’t have no idea of good music often
  • Shiva Bodhi Dharma     While saying they are actually more open minded than others. And that is the complete irony of it.

  • Flow Yo     end never felt, what problems and chaos is like. they’re just kids

  • Shiva Bodhi Dharma     Sadly, many of them are over 40 years old.

  • Flow Yo     eeek..
  • Flow Yo     and they’re such scene fascists

  • Shiva Bodhi Dharma     I’m sorry. I really want to continue this, but I have to go. And I really do want to continue this, as you are providing a very relevant view.

  • Flow Yo     hey, i hear so many music, go to so many different parties, scenes, communitys… i’m kind of exotic, i think. where i go, i see people, just living in their own little habitats.

  • Shiva Bodhi Dharma     Yes. I do the same. In many groups but part of none.

  • Flow Yo     okay, we will continue sometimes, i hope. have fun at whatever you do and have a nice weekend! and keep strong, and keep in mind they’re just a bunch of afraid childs. afraid to stand alone, on their own feets and realize they’re nothing but implanted ideologies and ideas!

  • Shiva Bodhi Dharma     We will. I’ll hit you up sometime this weekend.

  • Flow Yo     and thx for the name pollock, i’m reading very interested his bio.

  • (Author’s note: He is an artist in Germany, and therefore had never heard of Jackson Pollock, therefore I directed him to him, for inspiration…..)

There are MANY  such conversations I have been given permission to use in this series, not all from him, but many others, though the Germans DO seem to be the most outspoken, and, as shall be seen, they all say, in their own ways, the exact same thing –

Psytrance seems composed of mostly Spiritual Narcissists

Now, once again, the stage is set, the scenario defined, and thus, we come to our first “player”, if you will…….

Pawel Tulin

Degree in Psychology, User Experience software designer, Polish Psytrance Ego Maniac. Observe –

  • Shiva Bodhi Dharma     maybe……You do realize I have issues with the Arthous right now, right? Due to hiding that Chris Sevanick was fucking my wife, while partying right next to me, for nearly a year, right? Not saying I’m adverse to a meeting, just putting that out there.

     And yes, Ania Ziolkowska or Ziolko, is the woman I have been talking about for nearly two years. The abusive gold digger.
     So, just want to put that out there, before, you know.
  • Pawel Icon 2
    Pawel ArThou     sorry to hear that but I was out of the scene for at least two years, exactly for the reason that this psy scene is bit fucked up for me. So even if I share the name with them, I have not seen any of them at least for two years. I am keeping the name for sentimental reason. Hope you get it
Pawel Tulin & Ania Ziolkowska Pawel lied to me and stated he did not know them - See the Psytrance Cults Blog

Pawel Tulin & Ania Ziolkowska
Pawel lied to me and stated he did not know them – See the Psytrance Cults Blog

Now, as can be seen, while Pawel Tulin was believing he was successfully deceiving me in stating he had not seen anyone from the “ArThou” swinger group for two years, he was hanging out with MY adulterous wife, and Chris “Exeris” Sevanick, nearly every day. I already knew this. And this makes a point that is not only indicative of Pawel, but of everyone in this New York City Psytrance “Community” –

They believe they are smarter than anyone  else they encounter. 

This is another symptom of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, bordering on Anti Social Personality Disorder. It seems these traits are prevalent among cultists.

However, what can we expect, from someone that says something such as this? –

From: “Pawel Tulin” <ptulin@gmail.com>
Date: May 16, 2013, 17:37:02 EDT
To: “‘Hector Barrientos-Bullock'” <hvbbmail@xxx.com>
Subject: RE: I never did
Reply-To: <ptulin@gmail.com>

I don’t want to waste my time on bullshit. I don’t know what dhamma is but I
feel it. Especially, I don’t have time for your petty shit. Do what you
want, I’ll see you on the other side. You can thank me later, if there is
any need for it any after…

Do we remember the line of how none of them understand any of the practices they have adopted completely?

Well, there you go.

Let us include the entire email exchange the first lines of this first article of the series originated from.
It should be noted that I am merely laying out rope for Pawel, length by length, waiting for him to do what is to be done with rope, as we all know.
There are many conversations such as this, and they will be included in future entries to this series, however, this one was such a god send that I had to change my blog schedule to get this out to the masses, for all to see how the minds of the psytrance acolytes have warped all sense of reality, and call it “spiritual”.

Yes, it’s highly personal, however, well…..just look at his “Dhamma” line.

It speaks for itself……

The exchange –

On Wed, Aug 14, 2013 at 2:33 PM, Pawel Tulin <ptulin@gmail.com> wrote:

Listen – take me off this bullshit you doing or I will sue you myself little man

From: Hector Barrientos-Bullock [mailto:hectorbmail@xxx.com] 
Sent: Wednesday, August 14, 2013 2:38 PM
To: ptulin@gmail.com
Subject: Re: Figure it out yet?

Please sue.

I’m curious – what statute do you believe you will be utilizing?

On Wed, Aug 14, 2013 at 2:44 PM, Pawel Tulin <ptulin@gmail.com> wrote:

Harassment, slander, stocking, I have all the copies of your emails, you are an asshole. If you ever end up with her in court, I will testify against you, you piece of shit. You are a fuckin moron and disgrace to humanity. Go kill yourself and save all of us an effort. Also – you are a joke in our community, most people put your fricking email on automatic delete including Ania and Chris, and others are saying you are an asshole who will never be welcome back to burners and psy. So get the grip and move on. Or if you want to get something done, change your strategy and be a good person, dick lick

On Wed, Aug 14, 2013 at 2:50 PM, Hector Barrientos-Bullock <hectorbmail@xxx.com> wrote:

Slander has to be a lie.
harrassment is moot, due to your involvement AND association, as well as your attempted deception of me from facebook (which is now a legal document), to email, and i truly hope you DO testify.
You are oblivious to the exact nature of how damaging that would actually be to HER.


You’re not the only one that keeps copy.

You have demonstrated yourself to be lower than what is left on the floors of a slaughter house, due to your actions in THIS incident alone.

Once again, thank you, Pawel.

By the way, have you heard of relevance and hearsay?

They would never LET you testify.

You’re not RELEVANT to our MARRIAGE, nor have you ever met me, nor have you ever met us together.

Where is your relevance?

How are you such an unintelligent idiot?

HOW have you survived this long?????

As for the burners, YOU’RE not considered a burner, and I don’t give a shit about psy.
And yes, I have checked with the burners.

Would you like me to send you the messages I have from the burners, all of whom do not know YOU or ONTONCA??

They only know Jika.

You really think you’re more important than you really are.


On Wed, Aug 14, 2013 at 3:02 PM, Pawel Tulin <ptulin@gmail.com> wrote:

Dude – I will call Jiki right now and cuts you off her circles as well, you are a disease, she is my sister
(Author’s note- the are NOT blood related. He’s Polish. She’s Russian. Not that it matters…..)

So if I am not involved why do you bombard me with your hate and moron behavior, why do you harass me asshole? What did I do to you? I did try to help you a little before but stop involving me in your twisted mind. It’s not my drama, keep me out of it. You are a little man consumed by anger and hate. She left you because of it. So man up and stand up to what you did wrong. Stop bombarding me with your petty shit or I will make my steps to prevent you to do so. If you ever even remotely understand love and Buddhism, for which I beg you to take another look, you are destroying yourself. This is plain stupid but it is not my duty to walk you out of your hell. This is the last time I try to talk as a friend….

On Wed, Aug 14, 2013 at 3:04 PM, Hector Barrientos-Bullock <hectorbmail@xxx.com> wrote:

You’re too late.
I cut myself off from everyone except the core burners over a year ago.
How do you think I know you guys are a joke to the burn community?
They do not like your kind.
They don’t like sociopaths.
Oooooooooo…..spoken like a true narcissist, by the way.
The flaunting of USELESS status, as no one but eastern european sociopaths go to the houses you know.


On Wed, Aug 14, 2013 at 3:11 PM, Pawel Tulin <ptulin@gmail.com> wrote:

Dude – I don’t care if someone likes me, but they do. Even your friends are emailing me telling me that you are crazy asshole

On Wed, Aug 14, 2013 at 3:01 PM, Pawel Tulin <ptulin@gmail.com> wrote:

Yeah – it’s called modesty, I don’t need to be in the lime light. I just provide love and services to my brothers and sisters in need. I am not a DJ or anything like that but I don’t have to pay for tickets and my house is always full of friends, and where and when I travel I don’t need to worry about the thing. And you are not welcome in most of the houses I know

From: Hector Barrientos-Bullock [mailto:hectorbmail@xxx.com]
Sent: Wednesday, August 14, 2013 3:14 PM
To: Pawel Tulin
Subject: Re: Figure it out yet?

Do you READ what you write, before you write the next line?

I’m going to ENJOY posting this in my blog.

How you contradict yourself from one message to the next.


You are a narcissist bordering on sociopath.
You lie, you manipulate, you have an inflated sense of yourself, and call it modesty.
You are the oldest idiot I have met in my entire life.

On Wed, Aug 14, 2013 at 3:09 PM, Pawel Tulin <ptulin@gmail.com> wrote:

No – you are – get a shrink. Most of the people I know think you are a joke bro, Just a stupid pathetic idiot. I don’t even know why I waste my time talking to you, maybe my Buddhist education in compassion. Anyway – travel well, you would be better of listening to my advice but this is hopeless. In a way I do feel for you and feel sorry for you, anger and hate are big things to overcome, they can kill you. If you will survive, you’ll be a better man, I know it from my own experience. Otherwise you will die misbul death, goodbye friend and good luck

From: Hector Barrientos-Bullock [mailto:hectorbmail@xxx.com] 
Sent: Wednesday, August 14, 2013 3:13 PM
To: ptulin@gmail.com
Subject: Re: Figure it out yet?

You are a sociopath and an IDIOT.

You lie and get caught and expect people to listen to you.
I post about you EVERY DAY.

“they will lie to your face and say they are your friends”

You are TEXT book.

I know children with more maturity than you.

And the bottle blonde of ania’s hair?


From vidal sassoon to chez cvs.

The same yoga clothes from three years ago to go out?

must suck to live in one of the fashion capitals of the world, knowing she was a clothes horse, and now not able to buy one new piece of clothing.


On Wed, Aug 14, 2013 at 3:17 PM, Pawel Tulin <ptulin@gmail.com> wrote:

Yeah? Maybe you should check my background… Ania might not have resources to sue you but I do so be careful
(Author’s note – Thank you for telling me Ania Ziolkowska is BROKE, not that it matters to me……)

Hector Barrientos-Bullock <hectorbmail@xxx.com> Wed, Aug 14, 2013 at 3:18 PM
To: Pawel Tulin <ptulin@gmail.com>
Your point?
you still need a valid CASE.

On Wed, Aug 14, 2013 at 3:18 PM, Pawel Tulin <ptulin@gmail.com> wrote:

And regarding your blog, my lawyer already contacted wordpress few weeks ago, we are either suing them or they have to take you down
(Author’s note – Guess my outing them through this medium HAS had an effect…..)

Yeah man – that’s why when people hear about you – they are telling me to stay away from you. You are a disease and nobody wants to have anything with you, I am the only one left that still feels some compassion for you, but I am running short of patience…
(Author’s note – Pawel “Lost Patience” the moment he realized I could confirm he was both lying to me and trying to manipulate me. See – “Narcissistic Rage” )

On Wed, Aug 14, 2013 at 3:19 PM, Hector Barrientos-Bullock <hectorbmail@xxx.com> wrote:

Go for it.
Not going to work and you don’t scare me.
Wordpress is not responsible for my blog.
I know the legalities of that as well.
Try again.

Get this through your head:

On Wed, Aug 14, 2013 at 5:00 PM, Pawel Tulin <ptulin@gmail.com> wrote:

It is not about them – it is about you. You let hate and anger consume you. I am trying to save your soul but you are being an ass about it. Let it go bro, you will feel much better. I barely know them as well, I never met you too. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, it’s life


(Author’s note – this is the new narcissist tactic. I don’t know who started it, but they think songs on youtube will evoke some sort of emotional response that will allow them to regain control. I know for a fact this works on women. It doesn’t work on ME. Once I have cut all empathy off from you, NOTHING you do or say affects me.)

From: Hector Barrientos-Bullock [mailto:hectorbmail@xxx.com] 
Sent: Wednesday, August 14, 2013 5:46 PM
To: Pawel Tulin
Cc: Chris Exeris
Subject: Re: Figure it out yet?

You have the mentality of a 14 year old girl.
I have never had more fun than I am having right now.
I have sparred against award winning psychiatrists, and WON.
But you?
Your limitless idiocy is the most fun I have EVER had.
Such perfect displays of collective narcissism.
Such perfectly textbook displays of borderline sociopathy.

The flailing in searching for something, ANYTHING, that you THINK might actually HURT me.

What was it the Joker said?

“there is nothing, NOTHING, that you can do to me.”

Ania calls herself Mukti?

You have no idea.

I am free from care of social status, of friends, of desire, of loneliness, of everything.

THAT is “mukti”, by definition.

Welcome to viewing a state none of you shall EVER achieve.

I not only do not NEED anyone, I do not WANT anyone.


And you thought you would school ME in buddhism?



Do you know what that is?

All of you, including Ania and Chris, think you can outsmart or outrun your karma.

I am the karma she is attempting to outrun.

She thought it was about money when it’s always been about morality and integrity.

Seems you all have that mentality of

“I can do it to you, how DARE you be hurt by what I did, how DARE you expect me to be responsible for it, and how DARE you even THINK to do it to me!!!!”

I never say this, but I will say it now:

I am SMARTER than you.

I am quicker than you.

I am more resourceful than ALL of you, as you have learned.

You think that “he’s a bully” game plays when the blog went up?


It lost all it’s validity.

It’s not about me, it’s about YOU.

(I even knew, as I told the last phone call I had about this conversation, that you would respond, just because I said you backed off.)

You are NOBODY, but really want desperately to be somebody.

I am happy with being nobody, while everyone wants me to be somebody.

if you had not blocked me, you would see how many more support me against people like you EVERYDAY.

So far it’s at least 1,400

There are more pages about narcissism appearing everyday.

There are more blogs about people like YOU, EVERY DAY.

Your time is over.

Now just be prepared to read all about this in the blog.

Accept defeat.

Maybe then you might actually know freedom.

  • (Author’s note – to understand this line, I must digress for a moment to here –
  • Pawel ArThou     you are just an idiot than
  • Shiva Bodhi Dharma     No. I’m fed up. I have no patience for cluster b personality disorders and will hit them where it hurts the most.
    Nor do I have patience for manipulators.
  • Pawel ArThou     bro – I am offering you a free session, just because I see your struggle, you either choose to be a free man or you will suffer for long
    you can’t win, let me show you how to have some grace
    I have been there
    (Author’s note – Do we not see I just let him know he was attempting to manipulate me, AND HE STILL TRIES TO ANYWAY????)
  • Shiva Bodhi Dharma     I do not want a session. I want the means to end the problems that are Ania Ziolkowska, my wife, and Chris “Exeris” Sevanick. Nothing else has value to me. Actually, neither do they. However taking the fight to them I do value. And apparently they can’t win either. You may wish to ask them how their friend Eva Annika Backstrom fared with the Maryland States Attorney.
  • 3:00pm

    Shiva Bodhi Dharma     Eventually they will figure out I am smarter and quicker than they could ever dream of being. They haven’t figured that out yet. Good day.
  • Pawel Icon 23:05pm

    Pawel ArThou     you should not focus how to hurt them, you should focus how to make your life beautiful, you should focus to be love and friend, just take a big breath my friend, we will talk once you let it go, I will help you and intro you to great people, maybe you will get her back but chances are – you will not want her anymore either…. just take a deep breath firsts and be impartial for a moment….
  • Shiva Bodhi Dharma     I should focus in what’s healthiest for ME, and letting them get away with it is not healthy for me or anyone. It never was. That’s how it got here. That’s how ANYINE gets here. You may want to look up doctor Joyce brothers article entitle “don’t be so quick to forgive”. It applies. I don’t want her back. She had a child that Is more than likely not mine, she is and was deceptive, a gold digger, a liar, abusive, manipulative, without empathy of any kind except for herself.

    Why would I want someone like that back?

    Are you seriously thinking that? Is that what everyone believes???

    There’s a saying I learned in Seattle:

    “Girl, you are not that bomb.”

    And she is not.

    But she DID steal ten years of my life, and followed that with destroying what was left and then stole every dream I ever had, trying to be me, lying and deceiving the entire time.

    And all your friends know them, so how the hell would or should I trust ANY of them, or consider them “great”?

    – end Author’s note.)

On Aug 14, 2013, at 18:20, “Pawel Tulin” <ptulin@gmail.com> wrote:

Dude – keep my out of it or I will kick your ass

Dude – to start with – you are officially band from Poland forever, do not ever go there because you will never come back unless in body bag, and I promise you that

From: Hector Virgilio Barrientos-Bullock [mailto:hectorbmail@xxx.com] 
Sent: Wednesday, August 14, 2013 7:02 PM
To: <ptulin@gmail.com> Cc: Chris Exeris
Subject: Re: Figure it out yet?

By the way, physical threat of violence over email?


Thank you.


Sent from my iPhone

At this point, we can see several things –

  1. Pawel, who has a degree in psychology, knows nothing about psychology.
    I have an associates degree in accounting, and have put very little effort in out playing him at every turn.
    I know how cultists think. They think like Narcissists and Sociopaths, also known as Anti Social Personality Disorder.
    Ania Ziolkowska.
    A decade with her and anyone would be a FOOL to not understand how a sociopath thinks.
  2. As with most Sociopaths, and the cult indoctrinated, and even Narcissists, his bag of tricks and tools are limited to what he knows has worked on others. In the case of Pawel, he is limited to manipulation, intimidation, attempts at subterfuge, and then blatant intimidation. He can’t think outside the box of his experience. A robot.
    “This worked on other people. This has to work on him…..eventually.”
    (If you do business with him, take notes. This is how you outmaneuver him in negotiations.)
  3. As with any cult, which functions on “Collective Narcissism”, they will do anything, ANYTHING, to protect the “ingroup”, which in this case is an abusive Anti Social Personality Disorder that is committing adultery.
  4. In the protection of the “ingroup”, they can have done no wrong, and therefore the outlier, or “outgroup”, must always be the party at fault.
  5. In the textbook manner of ALL Cluster B’s, they need to keep their abuses PRIVATE, hence the fear of this blog, and the threats to me, due to it’s mere existence.

Now, I know what is being said –

“How does this prove psytrance cultism?”
Remember, this is merely the “introduction”, utilizing Pawel as a way to introduce you to how cultists in this community think.
I want you to recognize the association of this mindset and behavior, the pontificated claims of spirituality COMBINED with this behavior, and it’s association to Narcissism, Collective Narcissism, and Anti Social Personality Disorders.
In the next part, we will again visit personal interactions, taking a break from Pawel Tulin, and associate Psytrance Culture with other, more prominent, cults.I will leave this here, as it is getting late, for you to ponder, until the next entry to this series…….

Vipassana – Buddhist & Yogic cultism at its worst…..Part 1

  1. When students meet each other, one of the first questions they ask each other is if the other is a new student, and if not, how many retreats one has undergone. There is a visible humility in the other if one replies with a high enough number. Then the next question is where one has done the retreats. Some centers are considered better (having better “vibrations” or management) than others. The highest-ranking centers are in Igatpuri, Jaipur and
     Sonepat. There are long waiting lists for Igatpuri and the Sonepat center is only for old students or for long courses. The Vipassana enrollment forms also ask this question (the number of courses). 11 They ask another curious question which will be dealt with hereunder.

  2. It is considered significant if someone has done a course under the live guidance of Mr Goenka or his wife (called respectfully as Mataji). Again, it might be considered an important factor in one’s practice to have been taught by Mr Goenka and to have received his vibrations and goodwill in close quarters. ~ 

    “A Critique of Vipassana Meditation as taught by Mr S N Goenka”, Harmanjit Singh, July 20, 2007

Chris FroehlichinderWelt

Chris FroehlichinderWelt

“Or someone might join a club, be initiated into a particular organization because he feels starved, worthless. The group is fat and wealthy and he wants someone to feed him. He gets fed and becomes fat as he expected, but then what? Who is deceiving whom? Is the teacher or guru deceiving himself, expanding his ego?

“I have such a large flock of followers who have been initiated.”

Or is he deceiving his students, leading them to believe that they have become wiser, more spiritual, simply because they have committed themselves to his organization and have been labeled monks, yogis, whatever titles they may have received?

There are so many different titles to receive.

Do these names, credentials bring us any real benefit?

Do they really?

Half an hour’s ceremony does not bring us to the next stage of enlightenment; let’s face facts.

I personally have tremendous devotion to and faith in the Buddhist lineage and the power of the teachings, but not in a simple-minded way.” 

~ Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche, “Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism”

I was initially asked to begin a series concerning Psytrance and the inherent cultism within it, however after much deliberation, it has been determined that series cannot be properly written until another form of cultism is addressed – Vipassana

This will be in two parts, as I realize it will be difficult to address this in one and maintain the attention span of readers, as the subject matter is vast.

Vipassana is a very artful approach to cultism.

It utilizes this myth that it is the meditation method the Buddha utilized to gain enlightenment  –

“However, it is not Samatha meditation that is the most popular type of Buddhist meditation; the most widely used form today is Vipassana or Mindfulness meditation. Vipassana is also referred to as Insight meditation, because through its practice one is supposed to develop penetrating insight into the true nature of reality. Buddha explained that through Vipassana, which literally means through insight, one should gain the wisdom that brings you freedom from the blindness of ignorance.

However, and here is where it becomes the artful manipulation that draws you in to cultism, the practice of how it is taught today is where it becomes the first steps into what becomes cultism –

“These days, Vipassana/Mindfulness meditation is practiced by the practitioner having the intention to be an impartial observer of some natural process occurring within his or her body, mind or emotions. For example, one is asked to just observe or be mindful of the rising and falling of the abdomen during the process of breathing, or to just impartially observe the incoming and outgoing of the breath itself.

Another popular form of this meditation is to mindfully observe the body in the natural act of walking or during the process of standing up or sitting down. The key element is to try to be continuously aware of whatever process is taking place without in any way interfering with or reacting to, either positively or negatively, the process that is occurring in the moment.

The idea is to try to be fully aware of the raw experience that is always happening and transforming by noting and letting go of each arising and subsiding sensation. This practice is supposed to bring one deep insight, perfect wisdom, into the ultimate reality of the true nature of existence in both its conditioned and unconditioned states.

Unfortunately, this attempt to develop and obtain Insight through the practice of trying to be an impartial observer is not a right method. The reason for this is that the impartial observer, which alone is capable of right mindfulness and genuine Insight, is the fully-awakened state of Nirvana Itself.

The true impartial observer is never the attention or mind that is attempting to watch a process. The reason for this is that this very attempt is a part of the process itself; it is not outside the process.”

~ Dr. Evan Finkelstein, “The Buddha’s Meditation”, Elephant Journal

Or, conversely, we can look at Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche’s very astute view of the exact same thing –

“We might attempt to imitate certain spiritual paths, such as the American Indian path or the Hindu path or the Japanese Zen Buddhist path. We might abandon our suits and collars and ties, our belts and trousers and shoes in an attempt to follow their example. Or we may decide to go to northern India in order to join the Tibetans. We might wear Tibetan clothing and adopt Tibetan customs. This will seem to be the

“hard way,” because there will always be obstacles and temptations to distract us from our purpose.”

~ Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche, “Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism”

Now, and please correct me if I am wrong, but this seems to be more about self fulfillment than self awareness, about stimulus than about enlightenment, about, and I know we’ve been here before, THE “Id”!! 

Or, as Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche would state –

Ego is able to convert everything to its own use, even spirituality. For example, if you have learned of a particularly beneficial meditation technique of spiritual practice, then ego’s attitude is, first to regard it as an object of fascination and, second to examine it. Finally, since ego is seeming solid and cannot really absorb anything, it can only mimic.

Thus ego tries to examine and imitate the practice of meditation and the meditative way of life. When we have learned all the tricks and answers of the spiritual game, we automatically try to imitate spirituality, since real involvement would require the complete elimination of ego, and actually the last thing we want to do is to give up the ego completely.

However, we cannot experience that which we are trying to imitate; we can only find some area within the bounds of ego that seems to be the same thing. Ego translates everything in terms of its own state of health, its own inherent qualities. It feels a sense of great accomplishment and excitement at having been able to create such a pattern. At last it has created a tangible accomplishment, a confirmation of its own individuality.”

~ Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche, “Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism”

This dove tails nicely into another, more in-depth study and critique of the Vipassana practice, by Harmanjit Singh, which will be referenced exhaustively in this series –

“First of all, this is a dissociative meditation practice with the professed (intermediate) goal of making one the detached observer of phenomena rather than an involved party. This may sound fine to people ingrained in the eastern religions, as in eastern philosophies the world is considered a mirage or an appearance. The Self (or the Soul) is considered a non- material observational entity, whose liberation is sought from any link to this world of suffering towards a timeless, formless, sense-less world (called Heaven, Nirvana, the Void, etc.).

Mr Goenka is very emphatic in saying that most people, though they believe themselves to be neither the body, nor the carriers of the body, nevertheless are identified as being the body or as being the carriers of the body. His aim is to make this act of belief an insight, rather than just a belief, by actually helping people see the truth of the mind-body phenomenon. He does not, however, question or raise the issue of who or what exactly it is that is to be liberated?

The Soul that is identified with the body or which considers itself the body is sought to be liberated. But whether the Soul is real or illusory or not is not questioned. Only its identification is questioned. Mr Goenka repeat- edly claims that it makes no difference if one believes or does not believe in a Soul, but dissociative practices all implicitly believe in an entity (or awareness) which can be dissociated. Mr Goenka explictly discourages discussion about this topic.

As in all spiritual disciplines, the focus is on getting rid of the ego, or self with the small “s”, and becoming the All, the Complete, or the Self with the capital “S”. In Buddhist terminology, the journey is phrased in other terms, from Ignorance and Attachment to Liberation, but the essence remains the same.

Two thousand years of dissociative spiritual practices in India have chang- ed the psyche of its people so deeply that they genuinely consider this earth and the universe as a subjective creation with their only loyalty or faith (howsoever half-baked) in some God or in some other non-physical realm. Hence, they regard any occurrence in the outside world only with as much importance as it interferes with their own life. The awareness that there are other subjective entities, and the civic responsibility and order this awareness implies, is understandably absent in Indian society. The Indian psyche is already dissociated from the world to some extent.

Dissociative practices, which claim to make one the pure observer, are very attractive to the Indian mind, which finds suffering all around and wants an individual, solipsistic and non-material way to find happiness, howsoever illusory.

In modern psychiatry, dissociation is treated as a disorder. Depersonalization disorder is a specific illness under the category of dissociative disorders in the fourth edition of DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Man- ual, the world standard in psychiatry).

  • Patients with this dissociative disorder experience episodes during which they feel detached from themselves. They may experience themselves or their surroundings as unreal. They may feel outside or lacking control of themselves. They retain awareness that this is only a feeling.
    Diagnostic criteria for 300.6 Depersonalization Disorder
  • A. Persistent or recurrent experiences of feeling detached from, and as if one is an outside observer of, one’s mental pro- cesses or body (e.g., feeling like one is in a dream).

The questions to ask are: Am “I” the problem for this body or is this body the problem for “I”? Do “I” need to get rid of any linkage to this body or does this body need freedom from the clutches of an ego entity or Being which calls itself the self or the Self.

Vipassana and other dissociative practices seek to get the body out of the way of “I” so that “I” can dwell in a body-less realm of peace and happiness. The problem of suffering is quite real. But the solution might be quite different than dissociating from this world.”

As it is now becoming a bit long, and I still have not gotten into the “reality TV” or “cultish” aspects of this, I will merely begin to illustrate the practice here. As one can see above, and I will admit this is skipping ahead in the critique, the practice, as it is taught, edges dangerously close to psychological disorder territory.

It seems to train one to become a sociopath, with no “attachment” to THEMSELVES, much less anyone else in their lives

I will admit, this is not my best work, however, the stage is set, preparing us for the next chapter, which will include a much further in depth dissection, as well as email exchanges between a blindly following vipassana convert, and myself, which is ironic, as this person spoke with such vitriol against christianity and catholicism, only to fall rank and file into not one, but SEVEN cults, incestuously intermeshed with one another.

Ironically the same number as “the seven deadly sins”……

Toxic – Lack of Empathy and the Demonic State of Egohood

People can say anything. It's what you DO that matters.

People can say anything. It’s what you DO that matters.

I have a MULTITUDE of articles to write that I am WAY behind on, due to needing to complete my TESOL course before I run out of time, however, I was actually REQUESTED to write this one, due to others having experienced SIMILAR behavior from the subjects of this particular one.

I will admit that not ALL of my articles are directly involved with “spiritual” or “yogic” peoples, however, as those are aspects of society and the modern human condition, even this applies, as the additional subjects of this blog ARE involved with these people, and thus it illustrates the type of people these frauds attract.

In the end, whether “spiritual” or regular person, the behaviors are the same……

We should note that my history with BeBe goes back to 2010, while she did not meet Ania Ziolkowska or Chris Sevanick until 2012, therefore we can see where Narcissistic Personality Disorder takes precedent, IF the CONSTANT need for ATTENTION (and complete lack of empathy) was not already OBVIOUS…..

“Bebe bellamont??
Even with My limited dealings with Bebe i am not surprised i have no respect for her at all..And yes people are their drama
Please do! [expose her]  She is toxic
Bebe blocked me years ago when she was friends with my ex wife….I called her out on trying to worsen my split with ****** by feeding her a bunch of lies about me fucking a lot of rave hoes.which I wasnt, I was torn up over the seperation…stupid bitch LOL”
~ Anonymous

The provider of that experience asked to remain, anonymous, and I will respect their wishes, but is one of several that asked me to write and provide what is being provided here (links are provided for additional reference) –
BeBe S Bellamont & Rafael Rodriguez, people ARE their drama.

Attention whores and backstabbers

Attention whores and backstabbers

  • Can you do me a favor? If you see my wife at the massive, slap the shit out of her for me. LMAO!!!
    She’ll probably be hanging with a bunch of hoopers.
    Her name is Ania.
  • November 27, 2011
  • awwww! Sorry I just got this message!!!
  • No worries. I was half joking anyway.
    Hope you had a good time.
  • November 27, 2011
  • Yes I need to see you guys soon! I would have loved to have seen her! xoxox
    (Author’s note – This establishes that BeBe already KNOWS all the players involved.)
  • Today
  • bebe slut icon 16:19pm BeBe S. Bellamont
    why would i unfriend you
  • 6:20pm Shiva Bodhi Dharma
    Read it and you’ll see.
    Takes about an hour.
  • bebe slut icon 16:20pm BeBe S. Bellamont
    i dont have time but i will try to skim
    (Author’s note – She’s FEIGNING ignorance. She already KNOWS all of this.)
  • 6:20pm Shiva Bodhi Dharma
    It’s pretty revealing.
    It’s significant due to Rafael.
    (Author’s Note – Rafael is a photographer for Plurlife.com, and also the personal photographer for Chris Sevanick, as well as HER BOYFRIEND.)
  • 6:22pm Shiva Bodhi Dharma
    You’ll see.
    That’s all I can say. The rest is in it.
  • so you are an abusive drug adict to them
    (Author’s note – She hasn’t even READ anything yet, SHE ALREADY KNOWS the baseless rumors they spread, because she’s been helping spread them.)
  • 6:25pm Shiva Bodhi Dharma
    Then just skip to the conversation.
    You’ll see how that’s not true and they know it.
    And “them” is my WIFE and Chris, who used to be a friend.
    Gotta love it.
    (Author’s note – Remember this point. It’s important later….)
  • bebe slut icon 16:25pm BeBe S. Bellamont
    sorry i just dont know where to skip to
    (Author’s note – Didn’t she just navigate this thing a SECOND ago???)
  • 6:25pm Shiva Bodhi Dharma
    I can’t tell you everything. You have to hear it from their own mouths.
  • bebe slut icon 16:25pm BeBe S. Bellamont
    i am wayy tired
    (Author’s not – This way she can pretend to not know.)
  • 6:25pm Shiva Bodhi Dharma
    Don’t read it today. Get back to it.
    (Author’s note – Just gave her an “out”. Let’s see what happens.)
  • bebe slut icon 16:25pm BeBe S. Bellamont
    sorry i am sorry i just really dont feel like going through the whole thing
    i am sorry this is going on
    (Author’s note – Remember THIS point, as it REALLY becomes important later.)
  • 6:27pm Shiva Bodhi Dharma
    It’s not my fault they spent three hours trying to manipulate me. That’s what happens when someone tries to force their lies to be true.
    The irony is that it comes out if their own mouths. Anyone that reads it all the way through….well, skip to the comment section on the bottom. None of those comments have been edited. They’re what people have said. That’s not including private chats with me.
  • bebe slut icon 16:27pm BeBe S. Bellamont
    i dont pass judgment on people based on their drama. i make my own descions
    (Author’s note – And THIS becomes the MOST important of all. Firstly because she’s been spreading rumors for Ania Ziolkowska & Chris Sevanick, but also because it’s a common line used by NPD’s. Also, people ARE their “drama”.)
  • 6:28pm Shiva Bodhi Dharma
    Lets you know what the people you know are REALLY like.
    But what bothers me most is that people I know KNEW and said nothing to me.
    However, if it were THEM they would have hated me for not telling them.
    It’s the hypocrisy that disgusts me.
    (Author’s note – This was also a test for HER to see if she was really like what everyone told me she IS. Seems she IS.)
  • bebe slut icon 16:28pm BeBe S. Bellamont
    drama sucks period
    (Author’s Note – It’s ALWAYS the ones that say this that cause the most drama.)
  • 6:29pm Shiva Bodhi Dharma
    No. Hypocrisy sucks worse. It’s unforgivable.
  • bebe slut icon 16:29pm BeBe S. Bellamont
    that is drama lol
    (Author’s Note – She KNOWS I’m talking about HER. She’s doing that ditzy airhead thing that Ania Ziolkowska ALSO does.)
  • 6:30pm Shiva Bodhi Dharma
    But not drama I created.
    It’s created by those that say they hate drama.
    Look, friends would tell friends information that’s important to them.
    (Author’s note – Let’s see what she does with this…..)
  • i know you are still involved not saying you caused it i am just being empatheci
    (Author’s note – Firstly, WHAT???? So, you’re ADMITTING you KNOW??? Secondly, well, that’s explained in the next line….)

  • 6:31pm Shiva Bodhi Dharma
    That’s what I have Always done, even if the person would have hated me in the end.
    There’s a need to know.
    This is worse because she’s my wife and he was my friend.
    Therefore that’s not empathy. It’s….I won’t say what it is.
    Empathy is putting yourself in someone else’s shoes.
    Not telling someone is NOT empathy.
    You have the evidence. I’m suing Chris for slander. That is all.
  • Good day.

    Seen 8:28 PM

She tries to put on a good “SHOW” of it, though.


“After all, the thinking goes, fourteen-year-old Megan wouldn’t post revealing pictures of herself on MySpace if she had higher self-esteem.
So parents redouble their efforts, telling Megan she’s special, beautiful, and great.
This is like suggesting that an obese person would feel much better if she just ate more doughnuts.
Megan wants everyone to see just how beautiful and special she is, and it’s not because she thinks she is ugly — it’s because she thinks she’s hot and, perhaps more importantly, because she lives in a narcissistic society where she might garner praise, status, and “friends” by displaying blatant sexuality.”
~ Dr. Jean M Twenge, PhD , “The Narcissism Epidemic”

Gaslighting – Inna Kurtser

Gaslighting is one of the oldest tricks in the Cluster B Personality Disorder toolbox.
Unfortunately for Inna Kurtser, she’s not very good at it.
That is what happens when using novices such as Ania Ziolkowska as a teacher.

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