“If I whine enough….Maybe People will LIKE me???”

This one has been a long time in coming……….

#Chris_Exeris Recent rant about not being paid 2014-03-15 at 10.13.05 AM

#Chris_Exeris Recent rant about not being paid 2014-03-15 at 10.13.05 AM

The sad truth is this isn’t the absolute worse of Chris Exeris’s patently unprofessional whining (Which is part of the reason why h’s no longer a part of Mindless Faith, the first band he created…..).

No, it gets MUCH worse……… Screen Shot 2014-05-03 at 12.27.06 AM Previously we spoke about how Chris, like many narcissists, used compliments to manipulate others, and does so quite effectively, it has seems, however, as you can see, this is another ploy Narcissists use to gain what are known as “Flying Monkeys”, which are another version of “Narcissistic Supply”

However, We are getting ahead of ourselves, aren’t we? In the exchange above, you see the other way an Inverted Narcissist, such as Chris Exeris, will puff up their increasingly fragile egos. Besides the link in the sentence above (there are links in every single one of our posts, here on NPL) let’s give an explanation of an inverted narcissist:

“Inverted narcissists are codependents who emotionally depend exclusively on classic narcissists. Narcissists and inverted narcissists are, in many ways, two sides of the same coin, or “the mold and the molded” (Sam Vaknin) – hence the terms “mirror narcissist” or “inverted narcissist”. Inverted narcissists are much rarer and harder to identify than the boastful, arrogant “classic” narcissist. Surprisingly for a narcissist, the inverted type is self-effacing and/or introverted.”

I will say from personal experience that I disagree with two points above.

  1. That they are very rare. I feel the number of them has been increased, due to several societal influences

  2. It neglects to utilize Sam Vankin’s assessment, which is that the inverted narcissist is, themselves, a narcissist Since he coined the classification, he should know.

But let’s get back to the point at hand. One of the ways a narcissist, or inverted narcissist, such as Chris Exeris, manipulate others is in the playing the victim role, as can be seen above. “But”, you may ask, “If they are always needing to be in the dominant role, if they are always manipulating you, how does being a victim benefit them?” Well, it seems that playing victim, and I know this from experience, as Ania Anicca / Ania Ziolkowska did this all the time, the flip flop, the yo-yo, from victim, to dominance, to victim, it is merely another manipulation:

“Another way that the narcissist’s ego gets special attention is through the role of being a victim.

Welcome to the victimized extreme narcissist.

Most persons recognize ego as arrogance. At the same time they fail to see the subtle deception of ego when it takes the role of a being a victim. As kind and compassion-driven human beings, we easily are fooled by this form of extreme ego. We are constantly hearing the voices of the needy in the media through a variety of forms. The disenfranchised, the poor, the homeless, the hurting, the refugees, the abused, and the list goes on. What we often do not see is that we are many times shamed by these voices for not doing enough for them. All along it is easy to be manipulated as we respond from our hearts. The deception of the ego is that the narcissist can hide behind misfortune and victimization in order to shame you into feeling and believing that they suffer more than you do.

They will say that you don’t care enough for them.

They will make you feel that you have not done enough to help them.

The ego wants attention, control, gain, and power over others by positioning itself as a “poor and helpless” victim. It does this; all the while it soaks up the attention and control over others. In the eyes of an extreme narcissist, their situation is always right and totally justified. Instead of taking responsibility for self and consequences, the extreme narcissist tries to make others feel responsible for their plight. Because extreme narcissists are incredibly adept at the game of manipulation, they will always find a way to turn the tables on you.

They will try to make you responsible and feel guilty for not helping them or taking their side and cause. ~ Samuel Lopez de Victoria, PhD

As we can see by the description above, we must recognize that Chris Exeris (Christopher Michael Sevanick) hit’s all the red flags of an inverted narcissist that quickly adopts the victim role in order to manipulate others. And this has served him quite well.

It’s gotten him a stolen relationship with a rent free home in Poland, hasn’t it?

And that’s the point. Just as he manipulated praise out of everyone in that thread above, he manipulated Ania to provide him his haven. Now, we must realize she always planned to hook someone, more than likely Chris, to come back to Poland with her, to be the breadwinner, so she could be the “housewife”, not required to do anything at all, however, Chris, realizing this, has completely flipped that script upon her, and is definitely taking advantage of the situation.

“Sometimes your narcissist may play at being ‘victim’, needing you to reassure and console, and at other times he may take center-stage as the ‘rescuer’, to be admired and praised.

And while you are trying to keep up with the narcissist as he changes roles in this game, you also have to continue to change roles, in an effort at self-preservation.

When he is the victim, you must be the rescuer. When he is the rescuer – he needs someone to rescue.

You must seemingly always play the flip-side to his narcissistic character of the moment.”

Of course, we have already established that Ania is also an Inverted Narcissist, therefore this is a game of whom is actually using whom. The reality is Ania has the “control” because the home in Poland is hers, left to her by her family, after her grandmother died (all she really wanted out of her grandmother in the first place), while he has an almost equal amount of control by being the one that comes back to the USA to try to make money, occasionally, so they can take advantage of the 2 to 1 exchange rate of Poland. And we must also recognize that by the same instance, the psytrance culture he associates in, made up mostly of Eastern Europeans (Primarily Russians, though there are some Polish), is also a vipers nest of Inverted Narcissists, preying and feeding upon one another, but it is Chris (and maybe Ontonca) and Ania that have always used the victim ploy, as a way to manipulate these flying monkeys for them. We shall visit upon how Ania also manipulates others for narcissistic supply, and has since childhood, in upcoming blogs, the sheer and utter hypocrisy of ALL narcissists (and spiritual narcissists), as well as how they, as does all of psytrance culture, support Israel in the mass murder of civilians in Gaza. Until next time…….

 

Compliments: How the cunning Narcissistic Sociopath guarantees himself a “Cash Cow”

Perfect example of how Chris Sevanick / Chris Exeris manipulates Ania

Perfect example of how Chris Sevanick / Chris Exeris manipulates Ania

“Psychopaths, narcissists, and sociopaths are experts at flattery & charm. Although it feels amazing at first, this idealization is actually responsible for just as much damage as the abuse itself. They set a trap, and it’s a trap that no unsuspecting victim could hope to escape from.

1) By idealizing you, they can expect this attention & adoration to rebound very quickly. Their love-bombing ultimately results in a very quick bond, one where you fall fast and give back all of the “love” you are receiving. In your mind, this individual truly becomes the most passionate, perfect soul mate you could ever imagine. You feel and express this love on a daily basis.

2) You share your excitement about this relationship with all of your friends and family. Often times, they already have a front row seat for this constant flattery. Sites like Facebook ensure that the mutual idealization is visible to the world. It feels good to have our vanities stroked, ignited by all of this public praise. [sic]”

The post above may seem benign, however, it becomes less so, when one is learned and observant enough to understand the modus behind this methodology.

Narcissists will pass themselves off as your soul mate, your perfect match, by mirroring you right back at you. Ania Ziolkowska, in the end, tried to mimic me, thinking I would be attracted to myself. I've never worked that way. But she, as you can see from Chris Exeris, in her narcissism, apparently does.

Narcissists will pass themselves off as your soul mate, your perfect match, by mirroring you right back at you.
Ania Ziolkowska, in the end, tried to mimic me, thinking I would be attracted to myself.
I’ve never worked that way.
But she, as you can see from Chris Exeris, in her narcissism, apparently does.

To truly understand what is happening here, we shall reference the observations of Leon F Seltzer, PhD

“But praise has its dark side, too. Much more than we typically realize, it can constitute a kind of verbal bribery, offered primarily to serve the interest of the person offering it. This post will suggest six ways that praise might be disbursed with the hidden intention of winning your favor, or wrangling something out of you—something you probably wouldn’t be willing to grant otherwise.

If you’re insecure, and so require external confirmation to feel worthwhile or good about yourself, you’ll be especially susceptible to (or a “target” for) disingenuous praise with invisible strings (or a price tag) attached to it. Such praise comes at a cost. Exploitive praisers prey on those with self-esteem deficiencies and seem to have radar for detecting them, They know exactly how to raise your confidence—and reduce your uncertainty—through flattering machinations ultimately designed not for your welfare but their own.”

Or there’s this

1. Complimenting You Often

“Of course, you needn’t automatically assume that every time someone pays you a compliment they are trying to manipulate you into something, but someone who pays you a lot of compliments, particularly if they never did much before may be trying to coax you into something. Watch for sugary compliments in regards to your valuable skills, knowledge and experiences.”

Or this

2. Flattering You Publicly

“A manipulator know that if they make themselves seem like your biggest supporter, and number one fan, you are more likely to feel somewhat indebted to them. Be wary if someone constantly seems to brag on your abilities and accomplishments. You are possibly being manipulated without even realizing it!”

Okay, a little background.
Ania Anicca / Ania Ziolkowska, is herself a narcissistic sociopath, though, in my experience, one of the dumbest and most easily manipulated that I have ever known.
I’ll always remember one of her last statements to me, after she had delved head first into yoga, Vipassana meditation, psytrance, and all the brainwashing those toxic environments provide –

“I’m listening to myself, now”

As WE delve further into past history, where we will begin to illustrate others, such as Eva Annika Backstrom, Uzi Grindler, Debora Jackson, Masuda Mohamadi (the owner of Radiance Yoga), and even Christoff Ziolkowska, Ania’s own father, and how she would tell me she was listening to herself, while actually following the instructions of everyone else but her own mind.

You know that guy, the guy that hangs around your girlfriend, (or, in this case, WIFE), and says things like

“If anything ever happens to (insert your name here) I’ll always be there for you…..”

You know.

The creeper

That, in it’s entirety, is Chris Exeris / Chris Sevanick / Christopher Michael Sevanick.

Chris Sevanick is “That Guy”

“Love Bombing”

Love bombing is an attempt to influence a person by lavish demonstrations of attention and affection. The phrase can be used in different ways. Members of the Unification Church (who reportedly coined the expression) use or have used it themselves to mean a genuine expression of friendship, fellowship, interest, or concern. Critics of cults use the phrase with the implication that the “love” is feigned and the practice is manipulative. It has also been used to refer to abusers in romantic relationships showering their victims with praise, gifts, and affection in the early stages of a relationship.

Love bombing is an attempt to influence a person by lavish demonstrations of attention and affection. The phrase can be used in different ways. Members of the Unification Church (who reportedly coined the expression) use or have used it themselves to mean a genuine expression of friendship, fellowship, interest, or concern. Critics of cults use the phrase with the implication that the

Love bombing is an attempt to influence a person by lavish demonstrations of attention and affection. The phrase can be used in different ways. Members of the Unification Church (who reportedly coined the expression) use or have used it themselves to mean a genuine expression of friendship, fellowship, interest, or concern. Critics of cults use the phrase with the implication that the “love” is feigned and the practice is manipulative. It has also been used to refer to abusers in romantic relationships showering their victims with praise, gifts, and affection in the early stages of a relationship.

Love Bombing is a tool that narcissistic sociopaths, such as Ania and Chris use, and use well, until you know precisely what it is.

Ania Love Bombing Chris She tried this with me often, and I could tell it was insincere then, as it is now

Ania Love Bombing Chris
She tried this with me often, and I could tell it was insincere then, as it is now Both elect to ignore she’s still married, though.

As for “Amazing Communication”, something that will be revisited later, Ania cannot blame ME for that –

Ania stopped communicating with me, And then decided we should get married Just like everything else concerning me, her refusal to communicate without hurting is an after thought, buried in a bunch of other diversions.

Ania stopped communicating with me, And then decided we should get married Just like everything else concerning me, her refusal to communicate without hurting is an after thought, buried in a bunch of other diversions.

Narcissists are notorious for treating the general public better than the people closest to them. Why is this? Narcissists are intensely concerned with the quality of their public image, or

What you see is NEVER what you get.

It’s a trap, a snare, one they lay on thicker than a child icing their first baked cake with their mother.
And one they both used on one another, as can be seen by the screen shot above, and this, below

Ania Love bombing Chris on the Brooklyn Bridge, July 1, 2012

Ania Love bombing Chris on the Brooklyn Bridge, July 1, 2012

Ania And Chris, on the first night in NYC

Ania And Chris, on the first night in NYC

This is a walk they took on their first night in New York City, which is something Ania has her mates do every time she cons them to moving to a new city

Ania Anicca talking about our first night in Old Town She tries to repeat instances of previous relationships in new relationships, because narcissists are incapable of originality. Her Journals will make appearances in future blogs entries.

Ania Anicca talking about our first night in Old Town
She tries to repeat instances of previous relationships in new relationships, because narcissists are incapable of originality.
Her Journals will make appearances in future blogs entries.

Remember, this is 2 years after Ania called me an “Ignorant Ass Nigger”…..

Okay, enough of that. This is about Chris Exeris, and how he manipulates others, in this case, with praise and flattery.

Which brings us back to Love Bombing.
The definition above is a good synopsis, however there are better, more descriptive explanations –

This can take many forms. Excessive texting, constant comments on your social network page, emails, telephone calls, or just literally bombarding you verbally in face to face communication. He might overwhelm you with gifts and will constantly flatter you. It feels overwhelming, you are swept off your feet.

At first you will not perceive this as bombardment. You will initially be flattered that he is paying so much attention to you. He will leave you small love notes, send you sweet texts, it is like something from a movie. That’s because it is like that, its more fiction than reality.

Already he has assessed you, and he is now mirroring you, so he is reflecting back to you exactly what you want to hear. But he wants control over you. He wouldn’t have your full attention or control, if you were busy doing other things.

This is an important manipulation tool for a sociopath, love bombing does the following things.

Or, from the same source

“Love bombing is effective, as it moves the relationship forward very quickly. You might spend 10 hours talking on a telephone conversation. Or might receive constant text messages during the day. Numerous emails, or Facebook contact.

This is mind control. The message that you receive is:

It blinds you to reality

It is important for the sociopath to move the relationship forward very quickly. If he didn’t you might notice that there is a lack of friends from his past. You might notice that he doesn’t actually have a job. You might notice that he doesn’t actually earn what he says he does.

His motive, is always control. By love bombing you, he effectively, in a very short space of time, has control over you. Ownership. He isolates you from other people. You can, within a very short space of time, feel that you have been with someone for 3 years, or that have that feeling that you have known this person all of your life. This gives you the false impression that this man is your soul mate. Someone special, that you do not want to let go of. It feels good.

And it’s that flattery, that “feel good factor”, that they use to get you to do whatever they want.
I find it humorous, almost baffling, that Ania did not even notice her same tool, her trick, being used on her, as she has used it on so many before her, however, that is precisely what has happened.
Chris uses a similar tool on so many others. It’s how he has so many so devoted to him.
So easy to stroke the Id, that no one even bothers to see if it is real, or genuine, or not…….

“Feel good factor

Having all this attention, will feel good. In your mind, you reason that this is the right person. This is special. This is my soul mate.  We rarely want to let go of that ‘feel good’ feeling. And not forgetting that a sociopath will often target someone who has needs, perhaps they are lonely. And he walks in and fulfills this part more than well.

Within a short period of time, he will be staying at your place regularly. Your friends and family might raise an eyebrow at how quickly this has progressed. But you reassure them, thinking, ‘they do not know how this feels, it feels so absolutely RIGHT’.”

And this following part applies to both of them. I mean, Ania needed a place to live, without begging back to me and actually apologizing, and Chris needed the extra funds to move to NYC (But we’ll go into the details of that in a later blog).
And, how else could the failure of a tour he’s been on for a year (which has mostly been Poland and Berlin), been accomplished, if Ania’s family didn’t have an apartment in Warsaw (her expired grandmother’s old home, that we were supposed to live in, and raise our children in)?

Of course Chris has out manipulated Ania.

London is so expensive! (Because Ania is paying for everything)

London is so expensive! (Because Ania is paying for everything)

That post was made so it won’t seem as though Chris is COMPLETELY living off of Ania…….

London is so Expensive, because Ania is paying for everything That has to be embarrassing, so Ania helps to cover their embarrassment

London is so Expensive, because Ania is paying for everything
That has to be embarrassing, so Ania helps to cover their embarrassment

However, if that doesn’t hit home, there’s also this one

Must be nice to have someone Buy a laptop for themselves, just for YOUR own sole usage, huh, Chris?

Must be nice to have someone Buy a laptop for themselves, just for YOUR own sole usage, huh, Chris?

Not too long ago (2012), Chris was speaking as though he was the one buying a new laptop, however, how did that happen, if his is still 6 years old?
And then you realize, and I do have the post where Ania says so, as she was literally GIVING him HER laptop, to take to the Sahara desert, that Ania bought the laptop, probably from whatever she had left from the 401K she used me to cash out, so he could use it.
Of course, this begs the question of how Chris can help anyone buy a laptop, when he doesn’t even know how to fix one?

I always fixed our computers when Ania was abusing me.

But, the interesting development, is that he’s recently begun to come forward and state it’s Ania’s Laptop, and not his own.
Wonder what brought that on?
Because she now controls where they live and how they live and he doesn’t?

But, again, I digress…..

See, Chris manipulates Ania, through flattery and Love Bombing, so she will continue to “buy” his love, just as he manipulates others the same exact way.
It’s amazing how many have not even bothered to notice this, because, like Ania, they are so desperate to have their egos stroked, they never bother to see that they are actually being manipulated.
He turned the tables on her, and her codependency has allowed him to manipulate her to no end.

This is the emotional abuser’s trap. They are invincible. They groom you to shower them with praise & adoration, so you effectively checkmate yourself once the abuse begins. Survivors often find their own friends taking the side of their abuser. It’s devastating, and this trap is the final nail in the psychopathic coffin.

She is, in essence, His “Cash Cow”.

And why buy that cow, when you can get the milk, the barn, and even her own grain, for free, right?

Truth be told, I have several other examples of this, and may revisit this in a future time, however, to be honest, I truly despise formatting in wordpress, which is why I don’t write as often as I would like.