“Psychopaths, narcissists, and sociopaths are experts at flattery & charm. Although it feels amazing at first, this idealization is actually responsible for just as much damage as the abuse itself. They set a trap, and it’s a trap that no unsuspecting victim could hope to escape from.
1) By idealizing you, they can expect this attention & adoration to rebound very quickly. Their love-bombing ultimately results in a very quick bond, one where you fall fast and give back all of the “love” you are receiving. In your mind, this individual truly becomes the most passionate, perfect soul mate you could ever imagine. You feel and express this love on a daily basis.
2) You share your excitement about this relationship with all of your friends and family. Often times, they already have a front row seat for this constant flattery. Sites like Facebook ensure that the mutual idealization is visible to the world. It feels good to have our vanities stroked, ignited by all of this public praise. [sic]”
The post above may seem benign, however, it becomes less so, when one is learned and observant enough to understand the modus behind this methodology.
To truly understand what is happening here, we shall reference the observations of Leon F Seltzer, PhD –
“But praise has its dark side, too. Much more than we typically realize, it can constitute a kind of verbal bribery, offered primarily to serve the interest of the person offering it. This post will suggest six ways that praise might be disbursed with the hidden intention of winning your favor, or wrangling something out of you—something you probably wouldn’t be willing to grant otherwise.
If you’re insecure, and so require external confirmation to feel worthwhile or good about yourself, you’ll be especially susceptible to (or a “target” for) disingenuous praise with invisible strings (or a price tag) attached to it. Such praise comes at a cost. Exploitive praisers prey on those with self-esteem deficiencies and seem to have radar for detecting them, They know exactly how to raise your confidence—and reduce your uncertainty—through flattering machinations ultimately designed not for your welfare but their own.”
Or there’s this
“Of course, you needn’t automatically assume that every time someone pays you a compliment they are trying to manipulate you into something, but someone who pays you a lot of compliments, particularly if they never did much before may be trying to coax you into something. Watch for sugary compliments in regards to your valuable skills, knowledge and experiences.”
“A manipulator know that if they make themselves seem like your biggest supporter, and number one fan, you are more likely to feel somewhat indebted to them. Be wary if someone constantly seems to brag on your abilities and accomplishments. You are possibly being manipulated without even realizing it!”
Okay, a little background.
Ania Anicca / Ania Ziolkowska, is herself a narcissistic sociopath, though, in my experience, one of the dumbest and most easily manipulated that I have ever known.
I’ll always remember one of her last statements to me, after she had delved head first into yoga, Vipassana meditation, psytrance, and all the brainwashing those toxic environments provide –
“I’m listening to myself, now”
As WE delve further into past history, where we will begin to illustrate others, such as Eva Annika Backstrom, Uzi Grindler, Debora Jackson, Masuda Mohamadi (the owner of Radiance Yoga), and even Christoff Ziolkowska, Ania’s own father, and how she would tell me she was listening to herself, while actually following the instructions of everyone else but her own mind.
You know that guy, the guy that hangs around your girlfriend, (or, in this case, WIFE), and says things like
“If anything ever happens to (insert your name here) I’ll always be there for you…..”
That, in it’s entirety, is Chris Exeris / Chris Sevanick / Christopher Michael Sevanick.
Love bombing is an attempt to influence a person by lavish demonstrations of attention and affection. The phrase can be used in different ways. Members of the Unification Church (who reportedly coined the expression) use or have used it themselves to mean a genuine expression of friendship, fellowship, interest, or concern. Critics of cults use the phrase with the implication that the “love” is feigned and the practice is manipulative. It has also been used to refer to abusers in romantic relationships showering their victims with praise, gifts, and affection in the early stages of a relationship.
Love Bombing is a tool that narcissistic sociopaths, such as Ania and Chris use, and use well, until you know precisely what it is.
As for “Amazing Communication”, something that will be revisited later, Ania cannot blame ME for that –
It’s a trap, a snare, one they lay on thicker than a child icing their first baked cake with their mother.
And one they both used on one another, as can be seen by the screen shot above, and this, below
This is a walk they took on their first night in New York City, which is something Ania has her mates do every time she cons them to moving to a new city
Okay, enough of that. This is about Chris Exeris, and how he manipulates others, in this case, with praise and flattery.
Which brings us back to Love Bombing.
The definition above is a good synopsis, however there are better, more descriptive explanations –
This can take many forms. Excessive texting, constant comments on your social network page, emails, telephone calls, or just literally bombarding you verbally in face to face communication. He might overwhelm you with gifts and will constantly flatter you. It feels overwhelming, you are swept off your feet.
At first you will not perceive this as bombardment. You will initially be flattered that he is paying so much attention to you. He will leave you small love notes, send you sweet texts, it is like something from a movie. That’s because it is like that, its more fiction than reality.
Already he has assessed you, and he is now mirroring you, so he is reflecting back to you exactly what you want to hear. But he wants control over you. He wouldn’t have your full attention or control, if you were busy doing other things.
Or, from the same source
“Love bombing is effective, as it moves the relationship forward very quickly. You might spend 10 hours talking on a telephone conversation. Or might receive constant text messages during the day. Numerous emails, or Facebook contact.
- He is really keen on me
- He is really like me, we have so many common interests
- You have known him for far longer than you actually have
It is important for the sociopath to move the relationship forward very quickly. If he didn’t you might notice that there is a lack of friends from his past. You might notice that he doesn’t actually have a job. You might notice that he doesn’t actually earn what he says he does.
His motive, is always control. By love bombing you, he effectively, in a very short space of time, has control over you. Ownership. He isolates you from other people. You can, within a very short space of time, feel that you have been with someone for 3 years, or that have that feeling that you have known this person all of your life. This gives you the false impression that this man is your soul mate. Someone special, that you do not want to let go of. It feels good.“
And it’s that flattery, that “feel good factor”, that they use to get you to do whatever they want.
I find it humorous, almost baffling, that Ania did not even notice her same tool, her trick, being used on her, as she has used it on so many before her, however, that is precisely what has happened.
Chris uses a similar tool on so many others. It’s how he has so many so devoted to him.
So easy to stroke the Id, that no one even bothers to see if it is real, or genuine, or not…….
Having all this attention, will feel good. In your mind, you reason that this is the right person. This is special. This is my soul mate. We rarely want to let go of that ‘feel good’ feeling. And not forgetting that a sociopath will often target someone who has needs, perhaps they are lonely. And he walks in and fulfills this part more than well.
Within a short period of time, he will be staying at your place regularly. Your friends and family might raise an eyebrow at how quickly this has progressed. But you reassure them, thinking, ‘they do not know how this feels, it feels so absolutely RIGHT’.”
And this following part applies to both of them. I mean, Ania needed a place to live, without begging back to me and actually apologizing, and Chris needed the extra funds to move to NYC (But we’ll go into the details of that in a later blog).
And, how else could the failure of a tour he’s been on for a year (which has mostly been Poland and Berlin), been accomplished, if Ania’s family didn’t have an apartment in Warsaw (her expired grandmother’s old home, that we were supposed to live in, and raise our children in)?
Of course Chris has out manipulated Ania.
That post was made so it won’t seem as though Chris is COMPLETELY living off of Ania…….
However, if that doesn’t hit home, there’s also this one
Not too long ago (2012), Chris was speaking as though he was the one buying a new laptop, however, how did that happen, if his is still 6 years old?
And then you realize, and I do have the post where Ania says so, as she was literally GIVING him HER laptop, to take to the Sahara desert, that Ania bought the laptop, probably from whatever she had left from the 401K she used me to cash out, so he could use it.
Of course, this begs the question of how Chris can help anyone buy a laptop, when he doesn’t even know how to fix one?
I always fixed our computers when Ania was abusing me.
But, the interesting development, is that he’s recently begun to come forward and state it’s Ania’s Laptop, and not his own.
Wonder what brought that on?
Because she now controls where they live and how they live and he doesn’t?
But, again, I digress…..
See, Chris manipulates Ania, through flattery and Love Bombing, so she will continue to “buy” his love, just as he manipulates others the same exact way.
It’s amazing how many have not even bothered to notice this, because, like Ania, they are so desperate to have their egos stroked, they never bother to see that they are actually being manipulated.
He turned the tables on her, and her codependency has allowed him to manipulate her to no end.
This is the emotional abuser’s trap. They are invincible. They groom you to shower them with praise & adoration, so you effectively checkmate yourself once the abuse begins. Survivors often find their own friends taking the side of their abuser. It’s devastating, and this trap is the final nail in the psychopathic coffin.
She is, in essence, His “Cash Cow”.
And why buy that cow, when you can get the milk, the barn, and even her own grain, for free, right?
Truth be told, I have several other examples of this, and may revisit this in a future time, however, to be honest, I truly despise formatting in wordpress, which is why I don’t write as often as I would like.