Id – The ego of Maya, the Shadow

I should begin by saying I never stole the phone. I’m not even in New York City. John gave me access to his account so I could watch them, then pretended I stole it, so this opening could occur. However, this example makes a point I wanted to make –

“The id “knows no judgements of value: no good and evil, no morality…. Instinctual cathexes seeking discharge — that, in our view, is all there is in the id.”

What that means is the Id has no concept of right or wrong, just what IT wants. In Buddhism this is known as The Shadow, and in hinduism it is called Maya. I said once before that you could compare all modern spirituality to most of the Cluster B and Cluster C Personality Disorders in the DSMIV, as in if you took three of the Cluster B disorders – Borderline, Narcissistic, and Antisocial – and also one of the Cluster C disorders – Avoidant – you would get the exact behavior of those believing they are practicing spirituality at this time. Less the FIRST incident where Ania Ziolkowska called me an “Ignorant ass nigger!” merely because I asked her to hold a flashlight where I could see it, to fix something I never blamed her for, everything started off great for the first few years in our relationship also. Then, as Cluster B Personality Disorders are wont to do, she rapidly declined. I took us to counselors, but there was no effort from Ania at all. Ania would promise to do better, to change, but she would remain unapologetic and have complete disregard for anyone but herself.

“You’re just too thin skinned!” Ania would say.

Ania Ziolkowska Destroys and runs. Here she is dancing at Riou, In queens, at Psychill Psysundays. Ania Ziolkowska Knocked out my teeth, then

Ania Ziolkowska Destroys and runs. Here she is dancing at Riou, In queens, at Psychill Psysundays.
Ania Ziolkowska Knocked out my teeth, then “punished” herself by jumping on another dick, and partying around New York City.

See, yoga has Yamas and Niyamas, while Buddhism has the Five Precepts (Which can go up to 8, or even 10 in some practices) and the 8 Fold Path. These, if anyone has noticed, have been completely ignored by most yoga and sangha circles. Why? Is it not obvious that the “Id consciousness” has completely overtaken practice? Really think about what is taught in current self help spiritually, such as Eckhart Tolle, or Wayne Dyer, or even Ram Dass, and you will see it is obvious they appeal to the “Id Consciousness” that the personality disorders feed upon. I get emails on how to be a motivational speaker all the time, and the first thing said is

“write a book and get it published, even if it’s self published.”

Because that’s the formula, that’s how they get to become public speakers and charge large amounts to regurgitate flawed information they have put their own twist on, to gain a following. Osho didn’t even hide it. He blatantly celebrated selfishness and amorality And the theme remains the same – the celebration of Maya, the protection and avoidance of The Shadow, the precise anti-thesis of what these practices are meant to do. There is a reason my Indian friends have told me the Indians in India only follow the “Gurus” that the westerners go to…….. An Id will do anything to protect itself. It cannot be wrong. A Cluster B personality disorder is the precise locus of the Id Consciousness, it’s bastion. And the one major thing it will always protect is it’s reputation –

The narcissist presents to their victim, usually their relationship partner, a false self made up of a collection of simple and subtle pathological lies. Lies which make them seem angelic and builds them a reputation of being ‘as good as gold’ and ‘would never do anything to hurt anyone’. What I appreciate most is rather than attempt to explain this, I can provide such ready made examples, due to the behavior of others. The following is a ready made example of just this type of behavior.

You'll see in future articles that Ania Patrycja Ziolkowska ALWAYS played the victim. There will be text conversations where she would pass me off as the abuser behind my back, revealed to me only recently. Of course they never believed her, but the fact is she tried. They will smile at you, making you think everything is okay, while they are secretly engaged in a campaign of slandering you, to make themselves look better.

You’ll see in future articles that Ania Patrycja Ziolkowska ALWAYS played the victim.
There will be text conversations where she would pass me off as the abuser behind my back, revealed to me only recently.
Of course they never believed her, but the fact is she tried.
They will smile at you, making you think everything is okay, while they are secretly engaged in a campaign of slandering you, to make themselves look better.

  • Douche Bag Icon7:54pm Dj-vj Exeris Hey, just seeing these now, eek, yea Shiva is crazy, sorry that he involved you, glad you got your page back, but how did he steal your phone?
  • 7:54pm John We were chillin. He’s in NYC  I got trashed and he dipped with my phone Motherfucker
  • Exeris Icon7:57pm Dj-vj Exeris I recommend you report it to the police.
  • 7:57pm John Already did but I don’t know where he lives
  • You mentioned Hector is planning some nastystuff?
  •  8:00pm John He’s plannin some fucked up shit man. He’s talking to the department of state and the polish embassy Says his girl illegally adopted out their kid or something He’s completely lost it
  • Douche Bag Icon8:00pm Dj-vj Exeris Well she never had a kid so not sure what he’s going to do.
     Yea we were not sure if he believed his lies or not.
     If so then yes he has lost it.
  • 8:01pm John He thinks she did. Says she got fat real fast and lost weight real fast
    But he’s got an appointment tomorrow
  • Exeris Icon8:01pm Dj-vj Exeris she gained 10 lbs while in nepal cause she at desert 3 times a day for a monnth
  • 8:02pm John 9:30 in the now in the morning or some shit
  • Grains of Sound Icon8:02pm Dj-vj Exeris Maybe you can tell the police
  • Douche Bag Icon8:02pm Dj-vj Exeris they should even be able to call and find out when the appt is
  • 8:02pm John He’s doing it in DC
  • Exeris Icon8:03pm Dj-vj Exeris Ania contacted the polish consulate and they forwarded her email to the embassy in DC.
  • 8:03pm John They said they can’t do shit about that. But she don’t have no kid so he’ll just look crazy
  • Grains of Sound Icon8:03pm Dj-vj Exeris That was on Fri
  • Douche Bag Icon8:04pm Dj-vj Exeris email to consulate in nyc
    so maybe get a reply tomorrow
  • 8:04pm John Sounds good
  • Exeris Icon8:04pm Dj-vj Exeris yea crazy that he even has an appt when ania never had a kid
  • 8:04pm John  She got that far from eating dessert?
  • Grains of Sound Icon8:05pm Dj-vj Exeris she didn’t get fat
    just 10lbs
  • 8:05pm John Wow Looks totally different now
  • Douche Bag Icon8:05pm Dj-vj Exeris she was wearing her smaller friends clothese on NYE
  • 8:06pm John I saw the pics on your wall Her face lost weight
  • Exeris Icon8:06pm Dj-vj Exeris there are pics of ania in india which show he thin (Author’s note – Notice he didn’t offer to actually provide these supposed pictures?)
  • 8:06pm John He made a website too He showed me last night
  • Grains of Sound Icon8:07pm Dj-vj Exeris so how do you know him?
  • 8:07pm John Yeah he showed me those I’m a paramedic so she did look a little bloated
     I met him on FB He came up to meet me
     We went to a party last night and then he dipped when I got trashed
  • Douche Bag Icon8:08pm Dj-vj Exeris i wish the guy would get help (Author’s Note – Dropped that “she wasn’t pregnant” angle pretty quickly, didn’t he?)
  • 8:09pm John What happened to make him so fucked up?
  • Exeris Icon8:09pm Dj-vj Exeris he’s been that way for a long time
  • 8:09pm John He says she abused him for 10 years
  • Grains of Sound Icon8:09pm 

    Dj-vj Exeris made worse by doing meth every day for 3 years (Author’s note – Hearsay. He does not know this, nor can he prove it, which makes this SLANDER.)

  • 8:09pm John  Says he begged her to move to NYC and she said no
  • Douche Bag Icon8:09pm Dj-vj Exeris yea he has twisted everything (Author’s note – This catches up to him later.)
  • 8:10pm John When did he do that? He looked healthy to me?
  • Exeris Icon8:10pm Dj-vj Exeris not sure if he belives his lies or not (Author’s note – Pot calling the kettle black…..)
  • 8:10pm John  He doesn’t even smoke
  • Grains of Sound Icon8:10pm Dj-vj Exeris 97-2000 (Author’s note – Interesting as neither Ania Ziolkowska, nor I met Chris Sevanick until 2008. And we only hung out with him a total of THREE TIMES between 2008 and 2010. I met him again after Ania Ziolkowska lied and went to Poland, then India, and told him everything that happened between us, and even have additional proof. As I said, this catches up with him later.)
  • 8:10pm John  I offered and he refused
  • Douche Bag Icon8:10pm Dj-vj Exeris and then tones of E from 2001-present (Author’s note – At this time, you might want to skip down to the pictures of Ania Ziolkowska at the end, or remember this, and then wait for the surprise.)
  • 8:10pm John  So…wait….she was with him for 10 years after that.
  • Exeris Icon8:11pm 

    Dj-vj Exeris she was with him for 10 years ania didn’t abuse him (Author’s note – Remember this point, it will be important later on.)

  • 8:11pm John  Okay so he did meth while she was with him?
  • Grains of Sound Icon8:11pm Dj-vj Exeris didn’t knock out his teeth
  • 8:11pm John  How did his teeth get knocked out?
  • Douche Bag Icon8:11pm Dj-vj Exeris no he did meth before they got together (Author’s note – Slanderous statement. Can HE prove this?)
  • 8:12pm John  He says he’s got statements from a dentist and some polish dentist she talked to that she admitted it to
  • Exeris Icon8:12pm Dj-vj Exeris at a thai restaurant
  • 8:12pm John  He did meth when they were together?
  • Grains of Sound Icon8:12pm Dj-vj Exeris no E
    meth before they got together (Author’s note – Interesting. So Exeris CAN’T prove this.)
  • 8:12pm John  Then why did she stay with him for 10 years?
  • Douche Bag Icon8:12pm Dj-vj Exeris she says it was only 9 years
    cause she kept trying to prove to him that she was good (Author’s note – If Ania Ziolkowska is a “good person”, why did she have to “prove” it? If Ania was actually making an effort in not repeating abuses, then why did she constantly have to “prove” anything? Not that she ever did, as will be seen in reading further.)
  • 8:13pm John  He says she doesn’t talk to anybody they know together except to people in Maryland
  • Exeris Icon8:13pm Dj-vj Exeris she has been trying to get divorced for at least 3 years
    (Author’s note – why doesn’t this match the timeline presented by THEM as the conversation progresses forward? )
  • 8:13pm John  Why did she have to prove she was good of she was good?
    So why doesn’t she?
  • 8:14pm John  I’m confused
  • Ania Ziolkowska plays the victim game. Narcissists will say the abused is the abuser. Meanwhile, they work to turn everyone they know against them, behind their back, by lying.

    Ania Ziolkowska plays the victim game. Narcissists will say the abused is the abuser. Meanwhile, they work to turn everyone they know against them, behind their back, by lying.

  • How did he get inside her head?
  • 8:15pm John  Look I been fucked by him too
  • yea he fucks a lot of people over
  • 8:16pm John  But you gotta understand that makes no sense right?
  • 8:16pm John How did his teeth get knocked out at a thai restaurant?
  • Douche Bag Icon8:17pm Dj-vj Exeris but she left him 3 years ago and still isn’t free of him
    he keeps saying he wants to get divorced but then puts up all kinds of roadblocks
  • 8:17pm John  But how did his teeth get knocked out at a thai place?
  • 8:17pm Dj-vj Exeris he then lies and says he needs our address to file but that is BS (Author’s note -then why do THEY need MY address?)
  • 8:17pm John But how did his teeth get knocked out at a thai place?
  • 8:17pm Dj-vj Exeris they can’t file in NYC because neither of them has residency
    as soon as Ania gets residency she can file
  • 8:18pm John  Look he showed me some emails from her
    That’s how he got me on his side
    Have you seen them
  • 8:18pm John  So you see they make her look a little bad right?
    how did his teeth get knocked out at a thai place?
  • 8:19pm Dj-vj Exeris they didnt his teeth have never gotten knocked out
  • 8:19pm John  Wait wait wait
  • 8:19pm Dj-vj Exeris its even on his page (Author’s note – They BOTH BLOCKED ME. How are THEY seeing MY page?)
  • 8:19pm John  He’s missing teeth How did they get knocked out?
  • 8:20pm Dj-vj Exeris he says himself that he had a cavity
    he got a temporary filling
    and never went to get a permanent filling
  • 8:20pm John  He said they did a weekend in wildwood nj

    she had him sit her on a counter and she hit him in the mouth with her head on purpose

  • 8:20pm Dj-vj Exeris it spread to his root
  • 8:20pm John  Then leaned back and smiled
  • 8:21pm Dj-vj Exeris when was that? 

    what year?

  • 8:21pm John  That’s what he said
    He didn’t say
    Why
  • 8:21pm Dj-vj Exeris he bit into a lamb chop at a thai restaurant and his tooth got loose
    (Author’s note – If THIS is “true”, then why does it matter what year she head butted me in the mouth?)
  • 8:22pm John That’s not gonna make a tooth come out though I’m a paramedic There had to be trauma before that
  • 8:22pm Dj-vj Exeris the fact that he didnt get the filling done and then it infected the root
  • 8:23pm John I’m not takin sides but something’s not adding up, you dig?
    That’s not what he said
  • 8:23pm Dj-vj Exeris there were witnesses
    (Author’s note – Really? Produce these witnesses.)
  • 8:24pm John  He said he got a root canal because she pushed the tooth down with the head but and it was pressing on the nerve
    What witnesses? He called some guy when I was next to him He said she head butted him
    See what I mean?
  • 8:24pm Dj-vj Exeris also when did she supposedly get pregnant? did he tell you that?
  • 8:25pm John  He gave me the phone The guy said it too
    He said the pic in India is six months after she left
    He said they had sex in a dump hotel the night before she left
    No condom no birth control
  • 8:26pm Dj-vj Exeris she was in india 3 months and then nepal for 2.5
    (Author’s note – All that time in India and Nepal, and Ania Ziolkowska STILL MISSED THE MARK. Also, she’s lying. She was only in india until MAY, 2011. She then came back to Chris, in Baltimore, and PRETENDED to be in India, per her passport records.)
  • 8:26pm John Did she go to India in march? He said she went in march
  • 8:26pm Dj-vj Exeris end of february
  • 8:26pm John  Six months after she left him
  • 8:26pm Dj-vj Exeris like last day or so
  • 8:27pm John  He said she talked to him march first We’re you with her?
  • 8:27pm 

    Dj-vj Exeris you know the doctors can prove if someone has been pregnant or had a child she has never been pregnant

    (Author’s note – Remember this. There WILL be a “quiz”)

  • 8:27pm John  I know that
  • 8:27pm Dj-vj Exeris it can be proved by the doctors (Author’s note – Still paying attention?)
  • 8:27pm John    Is she willing to prove he’s crazy? That would help
  • 8:28pm Dj-vj Exeris we didn’t start dating till Januray 1st 2012 (Author’s note – What does this have to do with Ania Ziolkowska being pregnant?????)
  • 8:29pm John  So you don’t know anything but what she’s told you? Look I’m not takin sides and the fucker stole my phone but you gotta see where he might look right, right?
    I’m gonna kick his fuckin ass when I find him regardless
  • 8:31pm Dj-vj Exeris Yes I know more (Author’s note – It really doesn’t seem so, does it?)
  • 8:31pm John  I just wanna know why he’s so crazy and he seems to have a lot to back up his side
  • 8:32pm Dj-vj Exeris Well number one he is not in touch with reality. Or at least does’t appear to be IF he believes his lies. (Author’s note – More slander, but that’s to be expected of these two, right?)
  • 8:32pm John  But you gotta see that he seems coherent and got a lot of paperwork
  • 8:32pm Dj-vj Exeris He has twisted things in his head so much. Ania has proof.
  • 8:32pm John  He told me she tried to get a protection order on him
  • 8:33pm Dj-vj Exeris She can get proof that she never had a kid He is wrong about that simple thing! (Author’s note – This is actually Ania Ziolkowska speaking, but I won’t tell if you won’t tell…..)
  • 8:33pm John  Then he said she called him his family everybody right after she got it
  • 8:33pm Dj-vj Exeris She never tried to get protection order in NYC. She did get one in VA many years ago.
  • 8:33pm John  He’s got a statement that said she just wanted him to pay rent
    And she withdrew it
    He didn’t contact her. She just withdrew it
    That’s what he said
    See what I mean? (Author’s note – Wasn’t I the one that was supposed to be the “bully”? Why withdraw the protection order?)
  • 8:34pm Dj-vj Exeris Why has he not filed for a divorce yet?
  • 8:34pm John  He’s got a lot of people and shit to back him up He said he’s filing in New York
  • 8:34pm Dj-vj Exeris she even offered to pay him to file for a divorce.
  • 8:35pm John  He won’t take it
    (Author’s note – Because it doesn’t even come CLOSE to covering the teeth Ania Ziolkowska knocked out, among other debts her actions caused.)
  • 8:35pm Dj-vj Exeris but he cant file in new york for another year (Author’s note – This is STILL Ania Ziolkowska talking.)
  • 8:35pm John  He said New York rules are different and since she loves there he’s filing there. He’s already got a lawyer. Some chick
  • 8:36pmDj-vj Exeris so he is planning on waiting a year to file?
    (Author’s note – Isn’t that what Ania Ziolkowska is doing? Why does it matter if I wait a year, or Ania wait’s a year?)
  • 8:36pm John  Said the lawyer said since she lives there it don’t matter.
  • 8:36pm Dj-vj Exeris it does matter she needs to have lived there for 2 years (Author’s note – Why does Ania Ziolkowska care? The sooner the better, right? Why not be happy it can be SOONER?)
  • 8:36pm John  He said he’ll wait that long but the lawyer told him he can file now because she’s living there She can’t file but he can
  • 8:36pm Dj-vj Exeris doesn’t he want to start dating?
  • 8:37pm John  I’m gonna talk to a lawyer to see if he’s right I think he is
  • 8:37pm Dj-vj Exeris no, hes wrong
  • 8:37pm John  He says he won’t because he has her in adultery
  • 8:37pm Dj-vj Exeris one of the parties needs to have been a resident of NY for either party to file
  • 8:37pm John  He won’t give her the same option so he’s staying single The lawyer said the rules changed
  • 8:38pm Dj-vj Exeris no, they haven’t
  • 8:38pm John  Said he can file against her because she lives there Look buddy I don’t know
  • 8:38pm Dj-vj Exeris not for another year i know
  • 8:38pm John  That’s what the email from his lawyer said
  • 8:38pm Dj-vj Exeris have looked into it and consulted with lawyers did he tell you his lawyers lame (Author’s note – I have a “Burner” attorney in NYC on standby for retainer for BOTH cases. Ania Ziolkowska consulted with ONE VIRGINIA attorney – Nathan Olson. And why does she need my attorney’s name if she’s waiting a year to file anyway?)
  • 8:39pm John  He said he’s got her for abuse abandonment and adultery
  • 8:39pm John  I saw the email I got trashed after I don’t remember
  • 8:39pm Dj-vj Exeris you cant get alimony based on any of those (Author’s note – In VIRGINIA.)
  • 8:39pm John  Some chick in manhattan In New York you can
  • 8:40pm Dj-vj Exeris equal pay equal education (Author’s note – In VIRGINIA. Also, it’s apparently NOT equal, if Ania Ziolkowska can be in NYC for a YEAR and also be able to take a month long vacation to Eastern Europe this summer.)
  • 8:40pm John  That’s what the email said anyway
  • 8:40pm Dj-vj Exeris no alimony equal earning potential (Author’s note –Again,  In VIRGINIA. Also, it’s apparently NOT equal, if Ania Ziolkowska can be in NYC for a YEAR and also be able to take a month long vacation to Eastern Europe this summer.)
  • 8:40pm John  Look I don’t know
  • 8:40pm Dj-vj Exeris there is zero chance of alimony
    that is certain
    have already checked with lawyers (Author’s note – REALLY worried about that alimony, isn’t she?)
  • 8:40pm John Longo Is she working? Cuz if she is she might have some problems
  • 8:40pm Dj-vj Exeris why? problems with what? (Author’s note – “Why?”)
  • 8:41pm John   Why don’t she just file by newspaper in va?
  • 8:41pm Dj-vj Exeris because she doesnt have va residency
  • 8:41pm John  If she’s working and he’s right she might have problems That’s what the email said
  • 8:41pm Dj-vj Exeris but he can file if he lives there
  • 8:41pm John  It proves her residency too.
  • 8:42pm Dj-vj Exeris you mean alimony problems? not possible… (Author’s note – REALLLLLLY worried about that alimony, isn’t she?)
  • 8:42pm John Longo Yeah (Author’s note – Playing along at this point.)
  • 8:42pm Dj-vj Exeris even if she is working the law doesnt work that way (Author’s note – “IF”)
  • 8:42pm John Well his lawyer thinks different
  • 8:42pm Dj-vj Exeris they have the same earning potential
    (Author’s note –AGAIN,  In VIRGINIA. Also, it’s apparently NOT equal, if Ania Ziolkowska can be in NYC for a YEAR and also be able to take a month long vacation to Eastern Europe this summer.)
  • 8:42pm John If she ain’t working or of she’s in school no problem
  • 8:42pm Dj-vj Exeriand the same aproximate education no, doesnt work that way (Author’s note – So Ania Ziolkowska isn’t working, and isn’t in school, so what IS she doing? Pay attention. There WILL be a “quiz”.)
  • 8:43pm John Longo Look I don’t know
  • 8:43pm Dj-vj Exeris there is zero chance of alimony i know for sure (Author’s note – She really doesn’t, and isn’t good at bluffing.)
  • 8:43pm John  But that’s what the lawyer said
  • 8:43pm Dj-vj Exeris have checked with the best lawyers (Author’s note – Really? Because they can’t afford a tent for the Smoke on the Water Festival at Echo Lake on May 10, 2013, and Ania Ziolkowska HAD a $4oo Big Agnes tent – I have the same one – so…..)
  • 8:43pm John  So she got a lawyer?
  • 8:43pm Dj-vj Exeris sounds like you need a better lawyer
    a much better lawyer
    one that knows the law (Author’s note – Sounds like Ania Ziolkowska needs a NEW YORK lawyer, not a VIRGINIA one.)
  • 8:43pm John  She can file by newspaper in va if she knows he lives there
  • 8:44pm Dj-vj Exeris he can file in va if thats where he lives
    she will file in nyc in 1 yr
    she cant prove his residency
    (Author’s note – Ania Ziolkowska doesn’t have the money. She’s getting “haughty”. This is when you know Ania has trapped herself in her own web of lies.)
  • 8:44pm John  But she can file in va too
    Why can’t she?
    I got divorced like that
    Wife dipped
  • 8:45pm Dj-vj Exeris he has already tried (Author’s note – No, she really didn’t.)
  • 8:45pm John  Had to hire a PI
  • 8:45pm Dj-vj Exeris but he gave a different address to the lawyer
    she did hire a pi (Author’s note – Remember that “address” point from several lines up? Also, she paid $100 to a PI, gave him my SSN, found I have not submitted change of address forms, gave up.)
  • 8:45pm John Then had to use last know address So why didn’t she file?
  • 8:45pm Dj-vj Exeris she did file he provided a va address so she filed (Author’s note – Why did she need an address? Didn’t she say I don’t need an address for THEM?)
  • 8:45pm John  So why ain’t they divorced? If she hired a PI she’s working so that’s good But she coulda used that to get divorced
  • 8:46pm Dj-vj Exeris but then after filing he gave the lawyer a dc address so the lawyer had to drop the case
  • 8:46pm John Why didn’t she So? She could still file
  • 8:47pm Dj-vj Exeris she can not prove his residency
  • 8:47pm John Ad in a newspaper where she thinks she is and end that’s it Didn’t her lawyer tell her that?
  • 8:47pm Dj-vj Exeris she cant file in va because she is not a resident there any more (Author’s note – That’s not what was asked, was it?)
  • 8:48pm John But if she thinks he is she can still file That’s what I had to do
  • 8:48pm Dj-vj Exeris its not enough to file based on you have to have proof of residency (Author’s note – Untrue. Not for filing by newspaper. Why is she resisting filing by newspaper? Why is Ania Ziolkowska delaying this one more year? SHE want’s to be divorced, right?)
  • 8:49pm John  Miserable bitch dipped so I hired a PI and filed in the newspaper
  • 8:49pm Dj-vj Exeris you had residency she doesnt
  • 8:49pm John  The court accepted it and I got remarried
  • 8:49pm Dj-vj Exeris no idea where the guy is maybe dc maybe va
  • 8:49pm John  Naw. This was in Florida. I’m in Yonkers
  • 8:49pm John Longo Why didn’t she just do this clean?
  • 8:50pm Dj-vj Exeris they were talking about a divorce when she was in poland
  • 8:50pm John  Maybe this wouldn’t be a problem of she just sat down with him and told him how it was
  • 8:50pm Dj-vj Exeris he wouldnt provide his lawyers name
  • 8:50pm John  He showed me the emails and played me the recordings
    She kept saying she had not come to that decision yet
    It looks like she jerked him around man
    It looks like she was eating for him to come find her
  • 8:51pm Dj-vj Exeris there are emails where she asks for his lawyers info but he wont give it to him
  • 8:51pm John  I’m just saying
  • 8:51pm Dj-vj Exeris she did not jerk him around she was very up front about it
  • 8:51pm John That’s after she got back. He showed me those He showed me everything
  • 8:51pm Dj-vj Exeris no, she asked for his lawyers name when she was in poland
  • 8:51pm John He wasn’t nice in a lot of those emails But from what he told me I couldn’t blame him Now I don’t know He showed me all the emails She didn’t ask for that
  • 8:52pm Dj-vj Exeris she separated from him in May of 2010 (Author’s note – Remember this point. There WILL be a quiz.)
  • 8:52pm John She had her bro send something but she never asked for it He said she left end if September 2010 There ain’t no legal separation on file
  • 8:53pm Dj-vj Exeris yes, but before then they were on and off, (Author’s note – Really? News to me, since we lived together for the entire ten years.)
  • 8:53pm John  He said he looked
  • 8:53pm Dj-vj Exeris 1 party can not file for legal separation that is an agreement between two people they didnt speak or have sex for many months till just before she left
  • 8:54pm John  He said they lived together until some quack marriage counselor told them to live separate and date Said she didn’t last one day and he was trying to Do what the counselor asked
  • 8:54pm Dj-vj Exeris and they only got married because he wanted to use his va home loan to buy a condo
  • 8:54pm John So she had sex before they left right? So she married him to get a house? Do you see how that sounds?
  • 8:55pm Dj-vj Exeris they were going to buy a condo together there was no engagement
  • 8:55pm John But do you see how that sounds?
  • 8:55pm Dj-vj Exeris just a quick marriage before work
  • 8:55pm John She married him to get the house, right? And a honeymoon in Puerto Rico he said
  • 8:56pm Dj-vj Exeris he married her to get a condo she wanted to be married
  • 8:56pm John He said she proposed to him and set everything up
  • 8:56pm Dj-vj Exeris because she was hoping that if they got married, he would finally believe her (Author’s note – Again, WHY did Ania Ziolkowska have to “prove she was a good person?”)
  • 8:56pm John Even the honeymoon
  • 8:56pm Dj-vj Exeris but nothing changed after they got married
  • 8:56pm John So she had to prove she was a good person and married him for a condo? That don’t sound right man. He said she got worse after they get married
  • 8:57pm Dj-vj Exeris the relationship was always on the rocks some people just shouldnt be together
  • 8:57pm John He’s carrying journals around that she wrote
    She said right after they got married she wasn’t gonna talk to him any more
    Something about how her words were hiring him.
    It’s not his handwriting that’s for damn sure
    He said he’s got something from her ex Before him
  • 8:59pm Dj-vj Exeris this guy just needs to move on with his life there are other women out there (Author’s note – SEE how DISMISSIVE she becomes when anything concerning HER fault is mentioned?)
  • 8:59pm John He said she abused some guy named Charles too
  • 8:59pm Dj-vj Exeris he might be a better match with someone else well this guy had a prior with his ex (Author’s note – Ania Ziolkowska – “the attention needs to get off of ME….”)
  • 8:59pm John Said she spent this dudes entire trust fund
  • 8:59pm Dj-vj Exeris she had a protection order against him he spent months in jail for violating it (Author’s note – Ania Ziolkowska – “the attention needs to get off of ME….People can’t know my PAST….”)
  • 9:00pm John He showed me the report got it from Seattle in case she tried to use that
    Shows they both had orders against each other and his is time stamped before hers
  • 9:00pm Dj-vj Exeris when this guy met Ania he blamed all his problems on his ex
    now he blames all his problems on Ania
    same pattern (Author’s note – Actually, THAT NEVER HAPPENED.)
  • 9:01pm John He went first but told her she was and they give em out like candy in Seattle
    So she called and he didn’t
    That’s what he said
    Told me she apologized to him on stage at some show in Seattle
    I’m just tellin you what he said
  • 9:03pm Dj-vj Exeris why doesnt this guy just move on with his life?
     shes moved on
     and tells others about him
  • 9:04pm John Maybe she don’t want to admit some things? I don’t know but he’s got a lot of shit.
  • 9:04pm Dj-vj Exeris he is the one who talks about her non stop
    he is obsessed with her
    his whole fb page and now his web page is about her
  • 9:04pm John He has an email from her about how she used to talk to people about him
    Says she lied to people so they would feel sorry for her
    Says she with you because you’re popular
  • 9:05pm Dj-vj Exeris now he lies to people (Author’s note – This point is sad, as nearly every line that’s been said here by THEM is a PROVABLE lie.)
  • 9:05pm John Says she got with him for the same reason
  • 9:05pm Dj-vj Exeris he says she had his kid and sold it that is complete and utter bs
  • 9:05pm John But can you prove that? He can he’s got paper and shit from her
  • 9:05pm Dj-vj Exeris i cant think of a lie worse than that
    prove what ?
  • 9:06pm John Can you prove he’s lying about anything? Everything?
  • 9:06pm Dj-vj Exeris about her having his kid?
  • 9:06pm John Longo Can you prove it?
  • 9:06pm Dj-vj Exeris yeah, there are tons of pics from her in Poland and india and nepal. she was never pregnant
    (Author’s note – Wait, wait, WAIT….what happened to “Doctors can prove that”? Pictures prove NOTHING. baggy clothes in India and Nepal, and you can be pregnant and not even show. Notice how they backed away from SCIENTIFIC proof?)
  • 9:06pm John Right now it looks like she beat him up dipped out and he’s got everything to say he can be passed off at her
    So she went on a vacation
    That’s not proof
  • lots of people leave relationships
    he should have left if he was unhappy (Author’s note – She just realized her argument wasn’t convincing, so now she has to justify the “Why” of it.)
  • 9:07pm John She didn’t get a separation and he’s got shit that says she led him on
    He said he was in love with her tried counseling everything
  • 9:08pm Dj-vj Exeris all he says not is how badly she treated him, but she is the best gf i have ever had
    we dont even argue (Author’s note – Is it obvious that this is Ania Ziolkowska, yet? Not that it matters. For all intents and purposes, it is still Chris M Sevanick, legally.)
  • 9:08pm John Did she call him a nigger and not say she was sorry until she was told to? That’s what he said
  • 9:08pm Dj-vj Exeris for a year and a half
    did he ever call her any names? (Author’s note – Was that the question? See the refusal for accountability? For someone that has been to India and Nepal, and spent so long in yoga, WHY IS THE SAME BEHAVIOR SHE ALWAYS HAD STILL PRESENT?????)
  • 9:08pm John Said she would call him a nigger and not say she was sorry until he told her she needed to
    That’s not what I asked buddy
    You know that
  • 9:09pm Dj-vj Exeris listen, people say things they later regret (Author’s note – That’s still not an apology, restitution, or EFFORT, is it? It’s just a less than creative way to dodge responsibility.)
  • 9:09pm John Lets be straight here
  • 9:09pm Dj-vj Exeris they learn from their mistakes (Author’s note – What did Ania Ziolkowska “LEARN”, exactly? So far it was leave a mess SHE made (running away from those she hurts), travel the world (selfish self delusion), jump in someone else’s bed (selfish survival), this time a white guy, convince everyone she is better than she actually is (deception), and try to act as though she’s done nothing wrong (Narcissistic Personality Disorder 101), ever. Ania Ziolkowska has ALWAYS done this, so I’m still wanting to see what she’s learned.)
  • 9:09pm John Did she do that? But he said she kept doing it
    Would whisper it in his ear
  • 9:09pm Dj-vj Exeris she hasnt talked to him at all in 3 yrs (Author’s note – Not what was asked, was it?)
  • 9:10pm John Has friends that saw her do it
    That’s what he says
    Look I’m not racist I’d have a problem with that
  • 9:10pm Dj-vj Exeris could you hold on a sec?
  • 9:10pm John Sure whatever
  • 9:13pm Dj-vj Exeris his friends also saw him treat her badly
    listen, from what i hear it just wasnt a good relationship (Author’s note – Ania Ziolkowska said the same thing about Charles, the boyfriend before me, her husband.)
  • 9:13pm John His friends said she treated him badly he called a bunch of people while he was here.
    Said he knew she would do that so he found everyone for the divorce
  • 9:14pm Dj-vj Exeris so why did he stay with her?
  • 9:14pm John But who’s fault was that really?
    He said he loved her
  • 9:14pm Dj-vj Exeris does he enjoy being in a bad relationship? (Author’s note – Does she enjoy destroying every relationship she’s in when her lies catch up to her?)
  • 9:14pm John He wanted kids with her
    He just wanted her to stop beating him up that’s what he said
  • 9:15pm Dj-vj Exeris he must, because instead of moving on and finding a happy relationship, he is still bad mouthing her (Author’s note – See the concern by Ania Ziolkowksa of her IMAGE over everything else? NO acknowledgment of her wrongs or actions. Only constant deflection toward the victim she created, while attempting to make herself a “victim”.)
  • 9:15pm John One sec
  • 9:15pm Dj-vj Exeris he would rather complain about what he says happened years ago than to be happy (Author’s note – Ania Ziolkowska destroyed EVERYTHING about our lives, my jobs, my credit, my home, my sanity, and in the process stole my dreams – going to India, living in NYC – while leaving me broke and penniless in a recession, and then just jumped in someone else’s bed, her life handed to her, by both stealing and destroying mine. “Let them eat cake!” is how Ania Ziolkowska sounds. And, as usual, she NEVER is required to face karma, somehow passing it to those she was closest to. She did the exact same thing to Charles, before me, leaving him broke, and nearly homeless, and just went home to mommy and daddy, and then a buddhist monastery and crewed on a sailboat for a short time.)
  • 9:17pm John But he wanted to know why she can’t admit what she did. That’s all the fucker talked about how she treated him like shit and just won’t admit it even when everybody else saw it
    He’s gotta have at least 20 witnesses. He called that many peeps
  • 9:17pm Dj-vj Exeris did you see the emails he posted?
  • And they make her look nuts
    Just saying
  • 9:17pm Dj-vj Exeris she did admit and apologize
    he wouldnt accept her apologies (Author’s note – “If anything an apology from a Narc is yet another way of excersizing his “power” and control over you in order to get what he wants — Narcissistic Supply. Because apologies don’t have to be sincere to work in the Narcs favor.” – see the link)
  • 9:18pm John He said she apologized before after he told her she needed to and then kept getting worse like she resented having to apologize
  • 9:18pm Dj-vj Exeris everyone makes mistakes in every relationship (Author’s note – Do I even have to say it?)
  • 9:18pm John He said she put no work behind the apology (Author’s note – An apology is “apology, restitution, and effort”. Ania Ziolkowska made GENERAL apologies, after being TOLD SHE NEEDED TO, and none of the rest.)
  • 9:19pm Dj-vj Exeris no one is gona think it is crazy that they didnt get along all the time
  • 9:19pm John Just kept treatin him like worse shit
  • 9:19pm Dj-vj Exeris he only saw what he wanted to see (Author’s note – Apparently so did Charles and everyone else she left behind, except Eva Annika Backstrom, the ex girlfriend of Chris M Sevanick, that connected the two of them, and Uzi Grindler, Annika’s boyfriend that stabbed me in the back.)
  • 9:19pm John But look at how you sound buddy
  • 9:19pm Dj-vj Exeris listen, they were together a while
    (Author’s note – Not really helping her case with this one.)
  • 9:19pm John I’m not takin sides. I just want my fuckin phone
  • 9:19pm Dj-vj Exeris they both grew up and changed (Author’s note – Again, HOW did Ania Ziolkowska “change”, exactly? So far it was leave a mess SHE made (running away from those she hurts), travel the world (selfish self delusion), jump in someone else’s bed (selfish survival)this time a white guy, convince everyone she is better than she actually is (deception), and try to act as though she’s done nothing wrong (Narcissistic Personality Disorder 101), ever. Ania Ziolkowska has ALWAYS done this, so I’m still wanting to see what she’s “Changed”.)
  • 9:19pm John But it looks like your talkin for her
    And makin excuses for her
    Like she can’t do it herself
    See how that looks?
  • 9:20pm John That don’t do much for his mental state I think that’s why he’s crazy
    He’s textbook PTSD
    I saw that shit in 911
  • 9:21pm Dj-vj Exeris i am not making any judgements
    dont need to
  • 9:21pm John She did a number on him
    Right right you got his girl
    Why should you?
    Right?
    I don’t give a shit
  • 9:22pm Dj-vj Exeris the only reason she hasnt gotten a divorce yet is because she cant
    she is not his girl
    (Author’s note – Notice the irritation? This is the beginning of Narcissistic Rage Response. Ania Ziolkowska actually threw SEVERAL tantrums while with me, in PUBLIC. One in Springfield Mall, in Springfield, VA, in front of my mother, and one at 2 Amy’s, in DC, off Wisconsin Ave., in front of Annika, Uzi, and the ENTIRE RESTAURANT. )
  • 9:22pm John I just want my fuckin phone back and I’m done with this shit
  • 9:22pm Dj-vj Exeris and hasnt been for way before we started dating
  • 9:22pm John But you don’t sound right and by law she is
    And that’s all he needs
    Dig?
  • 9:22pm Dj-vj Exeris she is not his property (Author’s note – See the rage rising?)
  • 9:22pm John Who said property?
    She agreed she set up the wedding she set up the honeymoon
    She didn’t try to work shit out is what he said
    She just bossed him around is what he said
  • 9:23pm Dj-vj Exeris and when the relationship didnt work out she left (Author’s note – Translation, we couldn’t buy the condo, because the conversion changed back to apartments, so she had nothing to gain, and left. See the link for “Narcissistic Supply”.)
  • 9:23pm John Work for who?
    He’s got bills from counselors and is gonna make then give statements
  • 9:24pm Dj-vj Exeris for him the way he makes it sound (Author’s note – So…..wait a minute….it didn’t work for ME, so Ania Ziolkowska left? WHAT?!?!?)
  • 9:24pm John They don’t do that you know that
    I’m beginning to see why he’s crazy
  • 9:25pm Dj-vj Exeris do you think hes crazy? (Author’s note – Why does THAT matter?)
  • 9:25pm John I think he’s pissed
    So you been with her since January 1st of 2012, right?
  • 9:26pm Dj-vj Exeris why is he pissed? (Author’s note – Did she SERIOUSLY just ask that question?)
  • 9:26pm John I think from what we talked about he might have real good reason to be pissed off
    So you been with her since January 1st of 2012, right?
  • 9:27pm Dj-vj Exeris we started dating Jan 1 2012
    what reason does he have to be pissed?
    hes the one posting her personal info on fb (Author’s note – Am I the ONLY one that sees the absolute narcissism in that statement?)
  • 9:28pm John  Look he tried to work things out with her and she kept leading him on
  • 9:28pm Dj-vj Exeris how did she lead him on?
  • 9:28pm John He says she went to India knowing he wanted to go since 2001
    Then moved to NYC when he kept begging her to
  • 9:28pm Dj-vj Exeris when she left for India he was asking for her address in Poland to send the divorce papers to
  • 9:29pm John Something about how it was too cold and her knees or some shit
    Can you prove that?
  • 9:29pm Dj-vj Exeris he can go to India whenever he wants
    and she didnt want to move to ny
    i was gonna move there already (Author’s note – 1. See how dismissive Ania Ziolkowska is on the India issue? Had to steal my ideas. She is incapable of an original thought. 2. If Ania did not want to move to NYC she would not have. Chris is her next “HOME”, her next bed she jumped into to have a “HOME”. He’s so gullibly dense and obsessed he couldn’t see the obvious?)
  • 9:29pm John He’s got nothing saying that and he showed me every email
  • 9:29pm Dj-vj Exeris before we started dating (Author’s note – just digging that gold digger hole deeper, huh?)
  • 9:29pm John So why is she in NYC then?
    Because of you?
    And you don’t see why he’s pissed?
    You don’t see that?
    Forget I asked that.
    So what about her spending all the money?
  • 9:30pm Dj-vj Exeris and she didnt talk to him for a year and a half after that last conversation about a divorce (Author’s note – Not entirely true, however Ania Ziolkowska had to make sure she had another bed to jump into, before deciding to file for divorce. She can’t survive ALONE.)
  • 9:30pm John He said she kept them broke while she loved large and he even made more than her
  • 9:31pm Dj-vj Exeris and even that conversation was requesting an address for a divorce
  • 9:31pm John You still don’t see why he’s pissed off?
  • 9:31pm Dj-vj Exeris they have been talking about a divorce for years now
  • 9:31pm John Man I can see why he’s pissed off
  • 9:31pm Dj-vj Exeris when she left she left him with everything
    the apartment
    even paid for the apartment for a whole year
    gave him half of her 401K
  • 9:32pm John He said she caused him to get a DUI because he was trying to get away from her while fighting
    Said Shee lost him three jobs and two apartments
    Lost him his car
    She tell you anything About that?
  • 9:32pm Dj-vj Exeris he got a DUI because he swallowed a whole jar of ambien or some other such pills and then got into a car
    he didnt have to do that
    she didnt make him do that
    you see how he is not taking responsibility for his actions? (Author’s note – JAR???? Also, there are details missing to that explanation, as she full well knows.)
  • 9:33pm John He said he did not get half her 401k she paid for an apartment so she wouldn’t have no eviction on her record
  • 9:33pm Dj-vj Exeris he wrecked his car
  • 9:33pm John He told me about that but why was she fighting with him? (Author’s note – first time asked. Pay attention. This is a tactic Ania uses.)
  • 9:33pm Dj-vj Exeris she saved both of them from having an eviction on their record. she didnt have to do that
  • 9:34pm John He told me all that. But why was she fighting with him and why did he leave?
    She saved herself from having an eviction then
  • 9:34pm Dj-vj Exeris the point is he took the pills and got into the car
  • 9:34pm John Look I sorta don’t care but none of this makes sense
    Why did he leave?
  • 9:35pm Dj-vj Exeris didnt he tell you?
    leaving is not a crime, but getting into a car after taking so many pills is
  • 9:35pm John Because she was fighting with him and she tried that domestic violence thing before so he left
  • 9:35pm Dj-vj Exeris he was lucky not to have killed anyone (Author’s note – Avoidance.)
  • 9:36pm John He said he wished they’d left him in his burning car after finding out what she did
    He has the report where she told them they were fighting and he left
  • 9:36pm Dj-vj Exeris doesnt change the fact that he took a whole bottle of pills and got into a car (Author’s note – Deferral of fault. Still doesn’t acknowledge the FIGHT.)
  • 9:36pm John Then calmly told then she thought he was trying to kill himself and what he took
    Was she fighting with him?
    Did she try to do that before?
    You seein where it makes no sense?
    It was his place why would he leave?
  • 9:37pm Dj-vj Exeris makes sense that if he was laying passed out she would be afraid for his life and tell the police he took pills (Author’s note – HOW does that answer the question, and what does that have to do with the question? )
  • 9:38pm John Unless she was fighting with him and he didn’t want to deal with her lying to the cops
  • 9:38pm Dj-vj Exeris and its not her fault he took the pills
    and got into a car (Author’s note – STILL avoiding that fight point, isn’t she? Deferral and deflection. Narcissism one oh one.)
  • 9:38pm John Why was she fighting with him? (Author’s note – This is the THIRD time this question has been asked DIRECTLY.)
  • 9:38pm Dj-vj Exeris he could have killed someone (Author’s note – Deflected again. You get the point, so I will not point it out any longer.)
  • 9:39pm John Why was she fighting with him? (Author’s note – This is the FOURTH time this question has been asked DIRECTLY.)
  • 9:39pm Dj-vj Exeris lots of people fight
  • 9:39pm John Why was she fighting with him? (Author’s note – This is the FIFTH time this question has been asked DIRECTLY.)
  • 9:39pm Dj-vj Exeris but who takes a bottle of pills and gets into a car? (Author’s note – Avoidance. Attempting to put the onus upon the victim. Victim blaming.)
  • 9:39pm John Why was she fighting with him? (Author’s note – This is the SIXTH time this question has been asked DIRECTLY.)
  • 9:39pm Dj-vj Exeris that is really irresponsible (Author’s note – OMISSION and victim blaming.)
  • 9:39pm John Why was she fighting with him? (Author’s note – This is the SEVENTH time this question has been asked DIRECTLY.)
  • 9:40pm Dj-vj Exeris beyond irresponsible
    he could have killed someone (Author’s note – Further attempt at redirection from the TRUTH.)
  • 9:40pm John Look it looks like he’s not the only one avoiding their issues (Author’s note – Obviously THEY are avoiding more than I am.)
  • 9:40pm Dj-vj Exeris sounds like they were both arguing with each other
    and it sounds like they did that a lot
  • 9:41pm John I deal with psych patients all the time and she hasn’t accepted her fault in anything That’s just my two cents
  • 9:41pm Dj-vj Exeris sounds like it was a good thing that the relationship ended (Author’s note – Here’s where the Narcissistic Personality Disorder aspect of Ania Ziolkowska REALLY shows. All that yoga, all that mediation, India, Nepal, and still THE EXACT SAME ISSUES. Actually, DUE to all of that, she has gotten WORSE.)
  • 9:41pm John I’m not judging, but you might wanna really wonder why she’s really with you.
  • 9:41pm Dj-vj Exeris and you can tell by whats going on now who the victim was all along (Author’s note – YES, we CAN.)
  • 9:42pm John Just lookin out for my boy
  • 9:42pm Dj-vj Exeris he says he is the victim (Author’s note – And Ania Ziolkowska’s words and actions PROVE THAT TO BE TRUE.)
  • 9:42pm John He’s fucked up yeah (Author’s note – Playing along, obviously.)
  • 9:42pm Dj-vj Exeris but he is the one posting her personal info on facebook (Author’s note – Concern with image and reputation. Narcissistic Personality Disorder 101.)
  • 9:42pm John But she don’t sound right either
  • 9:42pm Dj-vj Exeris that show intent to harm someone (Author’s note – Really? I’m pretty sure it only “injures” Ania Ziolkowska’s EGO and PRIDE.)
  • 9:42pm John Just because she avoids it don’t mean it didn’t happen
  • 9:42pm Dj-vj Exeris normal people just dont do that (Author’s note – Of course, because Ania Ziolkowska is the benchmark for “normal”, correct?)
  • 9:42pm John I ain’t seen no attempt to harm nobody
  • 9:43pm Dj-vj Exeris he is still writing emails to her friends and family even though they have told him to stop
    that is not normal (Author’s note – Concern for reputation. Ania Ziolkowska has no issue of people only knowing HER side, however did not like her words being sent to her friends, as they showed she was lying and only telling a lie. I will post that email when it is found.)
  • 9:43pm John I see a guy pissed off cuz somebody he loved fucked him over bad
  • 9:43pm Dj-vj Exeris everyone can see that
    he is a bully
    everyone can see that (Author’s note – Ania Ziolkowska really needs to revisit the definition of “Bully”. “Ally Building” is part of being a “bully”, which she and Exeris are guilty of.)
  • 9:43pm John And this ain’t helping that much
  • 9:43pm Dj-vj Exeris he is obsessive (Author’s note – Obsessive? And what, may I ask, is cherry picking people I met as friends a year before her, while she was out of the country? I wouldn’t exactly call that “NORMAL” or “SANE”.)
  • 9:43pm John Can you blame him?
  • 9:43pm Dj-vj Exeris and cant move on with his life
    that is not normal
    there is no blame (Author’s note – Then why BEGIN the conversation SLANDEROUSLY? Of course, Ania Ziolkowska has “moved on”…..)
  • 9:43pm John Looks like she bullied him for 10 years
    Can you blame him?
  • 9:44pm Dj-vj Exeris this is just an observation of what is going on right now
    she does not post negative things about him online (Author’s note – No, Ania just gets her new “friends” to do that FOR her. Links to follow.)
  • 9:44pm John Look I’m gonna find him and get my phone back but I’m not sure I’m gonna kick his ass now
  • 9:44pm Dj-vj Exeris based on his behavior now, he is making it look like he is the one who bullied her for 9 years (Author’s note – Interesting. This entire conversation to this point OBVIOUSLY supports that.)
  • 9:44pm John She’s avoidant and worried about how she looks don’t mean she’s right
  • 9:45pm Dj-vj Exeris and is continuing that behavior now
    how is she worried about how she looks?
    he is the one on the defensive
    the one attacking her (Author’s note – Wait, wait, wait…..isn’t “HE” the one that opened the conversation with slanderous statements of my having supposedly done “METH for THREE YEARS” – which is physically impossible, by the way – and “tones of E” – which there are pictures of her under the influence of?)
  • 9:45pm John Look from what I see she whatever her name is Anya? Avoids what she does to peeps and just goes to new peeps to pretend she wasn’t like that
    How can he be defensive and attacking?
    My wife was like that
  • 9:46pm Dj-vj Exeris he thinks he needs to be defensive (Author’s note – ????)
  • 9:46pm John Then she left and I divorced her
  • 9:46pm Dj-vj Exeris but she is not attacking him (Author’s note – Numbers 1 and 5 of THIS LIST)
  • 9:46pm John That makes no sense
    Looks like she messed up and just left instead of working it out
    That’s what my wife did
  • 9:47pm Dj-vj Exeris ok, so you divorced your wife. why can’t this guy divorce Ania? (Author’s note – Why can’t Ania divorce ME?)
  • 9:48pm John Why can’t she admit what she did?
  • 9:48pm Dj-vj Exeris she tried to work it out, and finally why she realized there was no hope of ever working anything out, she left
    that was years ago (Author’s note – Hector : “So I’m supposed to treat YOU like gold, and you can treat me however you WANT?” Ania Ziolkowska [sitting on the back of our couch in a black dress] – “YES!” – For Ania, that’s “trying to work it out.”)
  • 9:48pm John The counselors don’t say that
    Looks like he just wouldn’t let her walk all over him anymore so she left
  • 9:49pm Dj-vj Exeris he had her post everything she ever did wrong on her facebook for all of her friends to see
    she did that
  • 9:49pm John Just saying
  • 9:49pm Dj-vj Exeris but it wasnt good enough for him
    nothing she did was ever good enough for him
  • 9:49pm John No he told me about that. She made some general statement with no details and then she said he hacked her account (Author’s note – This is true. Ania Ziolkowska gave me the password to her account, due to her past lying, and it was exactly as said above.)
  • 9:50pm Dj-vj Exeris there were details (Author’s note – See the anger? Ania Ziolkowska is caught in her lie of “I’m such a victim!”)
  • 9:50pm John He said she’d just embarrass him in front of peeps and act like it never happened.
  • 9:50pm Dj-vj Exeris so why did he stay with her?
    that doesnt add up
  • 9:51pm John Does she still have the post? Can she prove it?
    Because he loved her
    That part adds up
    We do stupid shit for love (Author’s note – At THIS point they should have figured out who they were actually talking to. She knows she is lying about the post.)
  • 9:51pm Dj-vj Exeris sounds like an unhealthy love
    or maybe not love at all (Author’s note – Minimization of the other party to justify her own wrong doing. That is symptomatic of sociopathy.)
  • 9:51pm John She stayed too
    He loved her
  • 9:51pm Dj-vj Exeris people make mistakes (Author’s note – Further minimization.)
  • 9:52pm John Looks like she never loved him
    Just used him
    Looks like she’s got a habit if using peeps.
  • 9:53pm John Said she jumped into bed with her ex before him to get out of her parents house at 18
  • 9:53pm Dj-vj Exeris like they were both at a bad place in their lives when they got together (Author’s note – Ania tries to get you to “share” in HER fault. She can’t survive alone, and she can’t be AT FAULT ALONE.)
  • 9:53pm John Said she jumped into his bed to get out of her parents house again
    Now she jumped in your bed
    Spent everybody’s money
    Left when they caught on
  • 9:54pm Dj-vj Exeris she doesnt spend my money (Author’s note – Lie. If she asks him to buy her something, she’s spending HIS MONEY.)
  • 9:54pm John This looks like a pattern to me
  • 9:54pm Dj-vj Exeris we split everything 50 50
    so your pattern doesnt match (Author’s note – Who want’s to bet that’s a lie also?)
  • 9:54pm John You only been with her a year and a half
  • 9:54pm John She always does it near the end he said
  • 9:54pm Dj-vj Exeris sounds like her relationship with him was always the same
  • 9:55pm John And the one before him
    Pattern
    See it?
  • not with me (Author’s note – I wonder if he realizes how he looks right now?)
  • 9:55pm John Went to a Buddhist monastery when Charles got her to leave
    Went to yoga and India this time
    That looks like a pattern.
  • 9:56pm Dj-vj Exeris nothing wrong with going to a buddhist monastery
    or to yoga and india
  • 9:56pm John Something wrong with doing it after every relationship she walked out on
  • 9:57pm Dj-vj Exeris she says she went to the buddhist monastery at the beginning of her relationship with Charles
  • 9:57pm John He says different and so does Charles he got a statement
    Says Charles told him she cheated on him while they were together
  • 9:57pm Dj-vj Exeris no, she has never cheated (Author’s note – How does HE know? Charles refuses to have ANYTHING TO DO WITH HER.)
  • 9:57pm John And she used to attack him
  • 9:57pm Dj-vj Exeris on anyone (Author’s note – Get ready for THIS one……)
  • 9:58pm John She’s cheating now. By law.
  • 9:58pm Dj-vj Exeris she is not in a relationship with him
    she just cant get a divorce yet
    thats not her fault (Author’s note – Ania Ziolkowska could have filed by publication, remember?)
  • 9:58pm John She’s not separated that’s still cheating he’s got her on that
    She didn’t try to get separated did she?
  • 9:59pm Dj-vj Exeris its not cheating if you’re not in a relationship with the other person anymore
    he brought up divorce when she was still in Poland before India (Author’s note – I asked REPEATEDLY if that was what ANIA wanted. Ania refused to decide – “I haven’t come to that decision yet…”she needed another bed to jump into, another “SUCKER” first. That’s voice recorded from skype.)
  • 9:59pm John By law she’s cheating not divorced no separation she’s cheating
    He’s got recordings
  • 10:00pm Dj-vj Exeris they have been separated since September 2010
    (Author’s note – Chris Sevanick / Ania Ziolkowska said MAY 2010 before, remember?)
  • 10:00pm John She did not say she wanted a divorce
    He’s got emails that say she was just there to figure thugs out
  • 10:00pm Dj-vj Exeris yes, she did
    he would not provide his lawyer’s name
    says he wanted to mail the paperwork to her brother’s house
  • 10:01pm John After she was already with you, right? So she’s cheating now and was then
    Nope
    He’s got all the emails
  • 10:01pm Dj-vj Exeris no, that was in February 2011
    1 year before we started dating
  • 10:01pm John No it was June of 2012
  • 10:02pm Dj-vj Exeris that was the 2nd time she asked for the paperwork for a divorce
  • 10:02pm John She’s not gonna look good in any of this
  • 10:02pm Dj-vj Exeris like I said, they hadn’t seen each other since September of 2010
  • 10:03pm John The court won’t see it that way. I see that shit all the time
    It’s like she wants things to be her way but that’s not how it is
  • 10:03pm Dj-vj Exeris she has spoken to lawyers
  • 10:03pm John I’m just try na warn you man
  • 10:04pm John Lawyers will tell you anything for cash and you know that.
    (Author’s note – Ania Ziolkowska saw ONE attorney in Virginia. The rest is her going off of information I sent her via email, calling her bluff. However, since she can file by newspaper in any state, why is she stalling?)
  • 10:04pm Dj-vj Exeris this guy just doesnt know his stuff
  • 10:04pm John Looks like she’s not telling everything herself
  • 10:04pm Dj-vj Exeris its very open and shut
  • 10:04pm John Or else she’d be divorced by now and this wouldn’t be an issue
  • 10:04pm Dj-vj Exeris no property, no kids
    thats all there is to it
  • 10:05pm John That’s in va. NYC is different
  • 10:05pm Dj-vj Exeris the only reason she is not divorced yet is because she cant file
  • 10:05pm John Because nobody owns shit in NYC
  • 10:05pm Dj-vj Exeris she would have filed when she returned from Poland, but she didnt have residency
    that is the only reason she is not divorced yet
    its very clear (Author’s note – The REAL reason is Ania Ziolkowska had not found another bed to jump into yet.)
  • 10:06pm John That’s not sounding right. She can divorce by newspaper I did it
    That’s not sounding right. She can divorce by newspaper I did it
    She had residency until she moved to NYC
  • 10:06pm Dj-vj Exeris no, she didnt
  • 10:06pm John She had a va license right?
    So she had residency
  • 10:07pm Dj-vj Exeris she left va for a year
    when she came back she didnt have residency
  • 10:07pm John That’s not how it works
  • 10:07pm Dj-vj Exeris or at least not domesticity
    yes, it is
  • 10:07pm John She was traveling as long as she had a license she had residency
    What lawyers did she talk to?
    We’re thy just billing for hours buddy?
  • 10:08pm Dj-vj Exeris otherwise the lawyers would have happily taken her money for a divorce when she got back
    you need residency and domesticity
    she didnt live in VA for 6 months prior to wanting to file
    so she couldnt file
    only reason she doesnt have a divorce right now (Author’s note – Untrue. Ania Ziolkowska could have used a last known address and filed via publication. If I were her boyfriend, I would want to know why she has not done this.)
  • 10:11pm John Look, she had residency in va She coulda filed in va it looks like she as waiting for him to find her and when he didn’t she just jumped in your sack That’s what it looks like and that’s what a NYC judge will say
  • 10:11pm John  I’m just lettin you know from my experience
  • 10:11pm Dj-vj Exeris if you dont believe me, look it up
    if she wasnt living in va for 6 months prior to filing, she couldnt have filed (Author’s note – Like Ania looked it up, and is saying she went to “the best lawyers”?)
  • 10:11pm John What a lawyer tells you and what happens are two different thugs
  • 10:11pm Dj-vj Exeris thats the law (Author’s note – Ania Ziolkowska could have filed by newspaper by now.)
  • 10:12pm John  Just coz she was traveling doesn’t mean she wasn’t a resident
    He’s got her last address in va so she still looks like a resident on paper
    And if she was being clean about it why all the game playing?
    Why not just he clean about it?
    I can see why he’s pissed.
  • 10:13pm Dj-vj Exeris she wasnt in va for 6 months prior to wanting to file, so she couldnt file
    thats as clean as it comes (Author’s note – Is she insane? Clean is discussion of separation, the mediation process, communication, etc. Yes, we all know she is insane. Rhetorical question.)
  • 10:13pm John It looks like she stabbed him in the back and everybody he knows stabbed him in the back for her
  • 10:14pm Dj-vj Exeris there was never any game play on her end
  • 10:14pm John That’s why he’s got PTSD
  • 10:14pm Dj-vj Exeris it was all in his head
    he played games with him self
    if that is the case
    (Author’s note – and all the witnesses imagined this also? And the voice recordings are also imaginary?)
  • 10:14pm John She left she kept telling him she ain’t come to that decision yet when he asked
    That’s game playing
    He’s got her voice on his phone
  • 10:14pm Dj-vj Exeris she asked for his lawyers name before going to India
    he wouldnt give it
  • 10:15pm John  No she didn’t he ain’t got anything saying that
  • 10:15pm Dj-vj Exeris he said he had a lawyer, but then wouldnt give their name
    sounds like he was playing games
  • 10:15pm John  He said he was pissed when he found out she was gong to India after trapping him where he never wanted to be
  • 10:16pm Dj-vj Exeris he kept posting things about being interested in other girls on his facebook page (Author’s note – Here is where the self justification and regret begin to show. See it? Yes, this is still Ania Ziolkowska, my wife, talking. I thought she was “happy”?)
  • 10:16pm John No it sounds like she was playin games
    That don’t mean nothin
    So he posted
  • 10:16pm Dj-vj Exeris to whom? yes, he did
  • 10:16pm John He was pissed
  • 10:16pm Dj-vj Exeris sounds like he was playing games then
  • 10:17pm John She was playin games and he got pissed off I can see that
    Looks like she cared more about how She looked than about him
  • 10:17pm Dj-vj Exeris but he made it clear that he was over her and that he had moved on
    thats how it looked to everyone else (Author’s note – Looked to WHOM, again? She has had my page blocked since before she went to India. She just revealed what I thought and said, while everyone thought I was crazy – THAT SHE HAS HAD PEOPLE SPYING ON ME AND MAKING UP STORIES. As long as I didn’t cheat, or was discreet, was I not supposed to try to distract myself from the mess my wife left me? )
  • 10:17pm John When? Where?
  • 10:17pm

    Dj-vj Exeris no one knows that he did that just cuz he was pissed

    (Author’s note – That’s what COMMUNICATION is for, idiot. Also, note the regret? )

  • 10:18pm 

    John     Does it matter? She wasn’t talking to him, right? Still looks like she cared more about how she looked than about him

  • 10:18pm Dj-vj Exeris it matters if now he is saying that she was stringing him along, when she did nothing of the sort
  • 10:18pm John And since she would make him look bad all the time, that’s a little messed up right?
    He’s got her voice on recordings saying she’s stringing him along
  • 10:19pm Dj-vj Exeris sounds like that was an immature relationship
    and unhealthy
    like she grew up, but he hasn’t yet
  • 10:19pm John

    She keeps sayin she ain’t come to that decision yet

  • 10:19pm Dj-vj Exeris he sounds like he is still a bully
    doesnt look good for him
  • 10:19pm John But you keep putting it on him when there were two people in it
  • 10:20pm Dj-vj Exeris him still harassing her friends and family does not show her to be a bully
    it shows him to be one
    i am saying they had an unhealthy relationship
  • 10:20pm John  It looks great for him from what I can see If he’s got peeps saying she bullied him and what you’re saying that’s not looking good for her
  • 10:20pm Dj-vj Exeris she left, but maybe he should have
    either way it ended a long time ago
    but he is showing that he is still the bully by being a jerk even now
  • 10:21pm John  But who made it unhealthy? He said he’s the one that asked for marriage counselors and there’s an email where she agrees to go into treatment for something
  • 10:21pm Dj-vj Exeris so it is not looking good for him
    but thats his own fault at this point
  • 10:21pm John  See he’s got those things from her that make her look bad
    I saw the email where she agreed to go to treatment then cussed at him right after
  • 10:22pm Dj-vj Exeris as she is not doing anything hurtful to him like posting his social security info on her facebook the way he is doing to her (Author’s note – Actually, it was her new friend, Daniel K Panzer that did that. Nice choice in friends they have. I have the entire conversation, which I will link here.)
  • 10:22pm John  So she’s not looking good right now. She looking like the true cause of his mental illness.
  • 10:22pm Dj-vj Exeris does he have a mental illness?
  • 10:23pm John  She’s lucky he can’t demand a psych evaluated for divorce
  • 10:23pm Dj-vj Exeris has he been diagnosed?
  • 10:23pm John  I think she’d fail
    Yes
    PTSD
    He showed me the paperwork from some do psychiatrist with Ab Indian name.
    And it says due to a past unresolved relationship
    Abusive relationship
    That don’t make her look good at all.
  • 10:25pm Dj-vj Exeris they were in the same relationship together
    the same stress
    the same trauma
  • 10:25pm John  Don’t look that way
  • 10:25pm Dj-vj Exeris both of them stayed for 9 years
    she left the country
    all of her friends
    to get her head straight
  • 10:26pm John Did she tell you about some bathtub incident in va?
  • seems like he still has not
    maybe he should take that trip to India?
  • 10:27pm John  He said he caught her in a bathtub with a girl half naked and she never apologized for it then she talked to the girl behind his back for a month.
    She didn’t leave the two friends that hooked you up behind though
    She’s looking like a textbook personality disorder fuck up one place and get a new start where no one knows her Gets lots of attention cuz she’s with you Sounds like NPD or ASPD to me But I’m not a doctor
    So all I’m sayin is watch your back My wife was the racy same way That’s why she went to Florida
    Either way, I just want my fuckin phone
  • 10:32pm Dj-vj Exeris Hey man, well good luck w that.
  • 10:32pm John  Not worried about it. I got insurance
  • 10:33pm Dj-vj Exeris cool
  • 10:33pm John  Yeah Thanks
  • 10:43pm John But you gotta accept he’s at least got her on adultery and you gotta look at why she was so easy to Dìp with you. When she starts asking for more shit you should take a step back I forgot to mention he knows where you live.

As for the “tons of E”…..well, all I have to say is this –

Ania Ziolkowksa / Ania Anicca high on MDMA, January 26th, 2012

Ania Ziolkowksa / Ania Anicca high on MDMA, January 26th, 2012

Ania Ziolkowksa / Ania Anicca high on MDMA, January 26th, 2012

Ania Ziolkowksa / Ania Anicca high on MDMA, January 26th, 2012

If Ania Ziolkowska WERE telling the truth (I wasn’t even on the east cost from 97-2000) I was NEVER THIS DUMB.

DSC00092

Ania Ziolkowksa / Ania Anicca thinks she’s a model when she’s high on MDMA

DSC00088

Ania Ziolkowksa / Ania Anicca thinks she’s a model when she’s high on MDMA

DSC00087

Ania Ziolkowksa / Ania Anicca thinks she’s a model when she’s high on MDMA

Ania Ziolkowksa / Ania Anicca high on MDMA, infecting our cat Shiro. MDMA comes out of your pores and goes through cats pores.

Ania Ziolkowksa / Ania Anicca high on MDMA, infecting our cat Shiro. MDMA comes out of your pores and goes through cats pores.

DSC00060 (1)

Eva Annika Backstrom high MDMA

DSC00070

Eva Annika Backstrom high MDMA

DSC00072

Eva Annika Backstrom high MDMA

DSC00074

Eva Annika Backstrom high MDMA

DSC00080

Ania Ziolkowksa / Ania Anicca high on MDMA, infecting our cat Shiro. MDMA comes out of your pores and goes through cats pores.

DSC00083

Ania Ziolkowksa / Ania Anicca high on MDMA, infecting our cat Shiro. MDMA comes out of your pores and goes through cats pores.

What I find amazing is not only the hypocrisy of Chris, but also his complete gullibility, in that he believes everything Ania Ziolkowska has told him, without question. In this conversation, it’s apparent that Chris Sevanick plays a game of avoidance for subjects he knows are lies, or, basically not true. However, they have created this tale of supposed proof because it supports the Maya they have created for themselves. But, as they say –

Love is blind (and apparently deaf and illiterate as well….)

And if I am a bully, I learned it from Ania Ziolkowska, who taught me well.
I merely don’t care as much about my reputation as she does.
People will think what they wish to think, regardless.
Therefore I will remain telling the truth and being me, while she continues to lie about her part in past relationships, as Narcissistic Personality Disorders and Sociopaths are documented as doing. I mean, doesn’t he realize she down talked Charles Gudet when she first got with me as well? The problem is Charles and I are friends, and he told me what she did, in detail, right down to why he showed up at the Silver Diner in Woodbridge, Virginia, when she complained to friends about not having sex, still not recognizing that Charles was hurt by her and did not see her as sexual any longer.
Ania Ziolkowska Is Narcissistic, self absorbed, can put on a great act to get what she wants, unapologetic, and has complete disregard for the emotions of others. Why would Ania leave everything behind? Because that is textbook NPD, that’s why. Apparently he suffers from the same thing, but somehow neither of them are that good any longer. I guess you slip with age.
Chris IS a year older than me……..
A fool who knows his foolishness is wise at least to that extent, but a fool who thinks himself wise is a fool indeed.
~ The Dhammapada 

Ania Ziolkowska refuses to face her shadow, living in “Maya”, the illusion. All of this illustrates that refusal, that self delusion, that finding solace from her damages to others by living the lie she has convinced others she is, or has “become”.

This is “Maya”.

ADDENDUM – I have a voice recording, I believe from somewhere between November 2010 and February 2011, of Ania Ziolkowska saying

“I think I’m going to gain weight. You know, be healthy.”

While Chris believes that when Ania was hiking up and down the mountains of Nepal, with her $300 back pack and her $400 REI tent, that she gained merely 10 pounds (the weight of a baby) because

“She ate dessert three times a day for a month.”

However, Ania KNEW she was going to be fat, SEVERAL MONTHS BEFORE. I wish I had been born a girl. It’s just TOO EASY.

ADDENDUM 2 –  “Maya” (mayainka1@gmail.com) in the comments section is actually Daniel K Panzer, part of the network of spies, cyberbullies, and Flying Monkeys, that Ania Ziolkowska and Chris “Exeris” Sevanick set up in order to achieve a middle school level of slander toward me, further betraying their decline into Cluster B Personality Disorder. As with most Cluster B’s, they choose the most mentally and morally corrupt of allies. Yet it also falls within the pattern. He, Adwen Jameson, Inna Kurtser…..if they are against ME, they immediately add them as “friends” on Facebook. It’s done them more harm than good. Further reading on The Shadow. 

Related articles

The Shadow from a buddhist perspective

This is reproduced from the “A Buddhist Library”

Jason Espada

          A Prelude to Talking about the Shadow

Looking at difficult emotions and held back elements in the psyche always has the potential to release a lot of energy.  It’s been my experience that when an abundance of energy is released (on the way to integration, one hopes) chaotic events can unfold in the outside world.  The feeling can be that these are not oneself, per se, but still we can feel that there is some relationship to the internal; and such things strange encounters, or accidents, or events involving the police, fire department and ambulances can take place.

My sense is that there is a parallel between the kind of held back, unformed energy that is released, and strange, unexpected, or out of control interactions or events.  Somehow, their texture, or movement, or their character feels the same.

Once they hear about the value of shadow work, I know most people will probably ignore any preliminary warning, and just jump right in.   Ok., fine.  Should unpleasant events get set into motion, we can think of this as part of the learning process, instead of getting discouraged.  We all need to learn our limits, and just reading or hearing is not the same as seeing for ourselves.

Shadow work in a safe container

There is a way to do safe and effective shadow work, looking into and transforming the held back elements.  This involves gathering

a wealth of supporting conditions. Create as much harmony, stability, goodwill and peace as you can, as a container for the

energies to be released.  If there are some spiritual practices that you know work for you, set that as the foundation.  If the energy should start to feel like it is overflowing, and that there is something of a chaotic character to it, then set the inner work aside for a while and increase the stabilizing elements in your life.  Most of all, go slow.  This will give you time to assimilate whatever comes up.

Besides that of the container, another analogy we can use is that of ‘the filament’.  Our constitution has to be strong to look within ourselves and get in touch with difficult elements.  Our body, mind and our emotions, or we can say, our constitution can be liked to the filament in a light bulb.  Too much current, and the bulb will resist, or go out.  We can tell when someone is frail, emotionally.  Their voice trembles, and they avoid talking for long about anything difficult.  Anger can be an escape, as well as distraction.

We all know, on some level, when we need to back off the difficult subjects in our life.  We know, consciously or unconsciously when we are capable, and when we need more weight, so to speak.

The way we fortify our constitution is to be in touch with positive, nourishing things, such as art, beauty, nature, and peaceful environments and experiences.  Then when we are ready, we can engage the deeper, and sometimes difficult things.

Ideally, shadow work is about more than just release.  Deeper resolution is more than the discharge of energy, as valuable and necessary as that might be.  We need then to be able to weather the effects of doing inner work.  If we use a balanced approach as much as we can, I think we’re headed in the right direction.

The Shadow from a Buddhist Perspective

The shadow:

That which is held back, shunted away, denied, unresolved in our psyche; what opposes us in the totality of our ‘personal’ consciousness

An energetic phenomena, that, like all other energy dynamics, has it’s own laws, rules, specific ways of functioning

First thoughts about the shadow

Reflexively, a self arises, right or wrong – an idea of who we are is formed, and from that we relate energetically to the world.  We have wishes, wants, perceived slights, experiences of despair, shame, frustration and virtues too.

Everything that is held back, if its point of origin is still with us in some subtle way, makes up the shadow.

All that is held back, (such as ‘id energies’), all that we cannot express, either due to social constraints, or because it conflicts with some other psychological factor inside us, is repressed or gathered into the unconscious.

Note here that there are two kinds of factors that we hold back – the first is what we don’t say or do because of social discretion, and the second is also what we don’t say or do because it wouldn’t be appropriate, but that has a powerful inner component of willing

to act or to speak in a certain way – the tension of these two elements together create the shadow factors in us.

To further clarify – sometimes we have the wisp of a motivation come up and, if we just wait, it passes without any sense of conflict created.  Sometimes then, this same motivation, to speak or to act in a certain way has to be struggled against maybe even fought with mightily.  The difference between these two reactions to the same impulse is that in the first case there are deep inner structures that support not striking out, not acting or speaking in a certain way.

It’s the role of education, acculturation in the best sense, and the cultivation of morals (at its best, the development and extension into the world of our natural goodness) that determines if the difficult things we meet with in life brings out a mild response or something we need to struggle with and repress – which, in addition to not dealing with the root cause of the problem, brings a whole range of repercussions.

Note also that when we call something ‘shadow’ it implies a degree of unconsciousness – either we reject or deny something because we feel it is too ugly or terrible to bear, or because it does not fit with the strong, persistent idea we have of ourselves.

Further, we have to say that often a shadow element will not just be rejected, but actually hated, which is much stronger than just rejection.  The energy of hatred is powerful.  It is not just that we dislike or push something away, but that we oppose this fiercely, passionately.  When we hate, we exert great psychic energy to keep some things at a distance.  This results in the energy pushing back, also powerfully, in some ways.

As long as these elements are energetically unresolved, they find outlets against our will, or in spite of our best intentions.  We may deny that we are somehow the cause of these shadow manifestations, especially if we hold an image of ourself as entirely right, and there is no outlet to release the charge of shadow energies.

What’s as bad or worse than storing up such shadow energies, is that

we then often then proceed to project the denied elements in our own psyche onto others.

It happens sometimes that if we are angry, or petty around something, or dull, or confused and conflicted, and we see some occasion to blame, or to put onto others what we have in ourselves, we accuse them of what is actually our mind, reacting to our own (unclaimed) aspect of our psychological energies.

As Robert Johnson points out in his book on the shadow, we also project our own positive qualities onto others.  It does not mean the person or situation doesn’t have the negative or positive quality react to, but that some additional factor is there that is usually not perceived, not taken into account and not ‘owned’ or taken responsibility for.  We need to learn to distinguish what is ‘ours’ from what is there in the people and circumstances we meet.

Getting a handle on the shadow

I think of those people who do not say what they most want, and need to say, and the effects that has on their person.  We call such people ‘bottled up’ – their energy gets physically blocked, and even ordinary feeling or communication becomes labored.

Thich Nhat Hanh taught about the need to have what he called a healthy circulation of psychological energy, with an awareness of

what is going on, not rejecting anything in our experience, any thought, feeling, memory or desire.

For me, this assumes some solidity, and enough weight on the other side of the balance: a sense of what is right, profound, rich with virtue and positive life.  If we try to be in touch with or accommodate what is wounded before we are capable in this way, the result, consciously or unconsciously will be that we will be overwhelmed (knocked off center)

and we will either give up too soon, claiming success, or pursuing distraction, or we will have our circuit breakers blow, which amounts to the same thing.  We will not have accomplished the task of accommodating the difficult elements so they can be transformed.

I think that in both Buddhism and in Jungian psychology, what is referred to by the term the shadow is an energetic phenomena – one that can have the charge taken out of it to a lesser or greater extent, and one that’s energy can be, and needs to be utilized, or else it will unbalance a person.

As physics will tell you, when it comes to energy, nothing is ever lost.  These energies can be released and assimilated, to the strengthening and health of the entire person.

At this significant juncture, as I read it, Buddhism differs from Jungian psychology.  The central point of Buddhism, for a person wishing to liberate his own mind from fears and afflictions, and help others to do the same, is wisdom.  Without the teachings that make up Buddhism’s Wisdom Traditions, the teachings would only be about ethics, calming the mind in meditation, and cultivating positive states such as goodwill, and patience.  What truly distinguishes the language of Buddhist teachings is that they point to the cause of suffering, and teach ways to transform the base itself of our responses to life.

The reason I used the phrase ‘have the charge taken out of it to a lesser or greater extent’ is because when I read of shadow work involving such activities as writing a letter, using humor, or talking to ‘let off steam’; or performing a dance expressing some locked up feeling, watching a horror movie, or making a ritual of letting go of an emotion, I sense that there is a difference between this level of dealing with things, and getting at the root cause of what underlies these difficult emotions.  The temporary, provisional methods are useful and necessary as far as they go, but I know we can also work on a deeper, more causative level.

The Wisdom teachings of Buddhism are straightforward, and can be described in a few words, but they are profound in their application.

Essentially, Buddhism teaches that what we take to be ourself, habitually, reflexively, is not who we are, is not what is actually here.  It teaches that our experiences are based on a mistaken concept of ourselves, and others, and this world.

As an idea, such words have only minimal value.  When looked into though, the basis for our many difficult emotional reactions falls apart.  No one can do the work for another, and words are not enough.  This can have a profound effect on our whole life, but only if we do the investigation ourselves into who we reflexively conceive ourselves to be, and integrate that insight.  The effect of integrating this dawning of wisdom in ourselves is that it is able to resolve and heal the past dynamics that were created out of ignorance.

As I read it now, I have the feeling that ‘shadow’ elements from the past are viewed as more fixed dynamics than they actually are.  Perhaps this is true for someone who does not practice meditative disciplines, but it is not ultimately true.

The idea that every hurt, slight, unfulfilled motivation, wants and needs a kind of release or resolution for our psychological balance seems to me to be asserting some kind of a self as a fixed point, relating to the world, striving, making mistakes, seeking redress.

If this ‘self’ as a center were to change, however, what does that do to the shadow dynamics of the previously posited selves?  They may remain for a while, but in one analogy, they are compared to a thief entering an empty house – they can’t cause one trouble.  In fact, the emotions themselves release on their own, and are referred to as ‘self-liberated’.

If it happens that naturally the view of ourself changes substantially from following the Jungian approach, this is not referred to specifically.  Instead, their view seems to be one of a

fixed matrix of experience that allows or prohibits different things in life.  Teachings from Eastern traditions differ fundamentally in that they look at consciousness and the one who experiences himself or herself as being capable of changing.

Buddhism and Jungian psychology have a lot in common: they both aim for the health and wholeness of a person; they agree that mindfulness, self observation and being inclusive is always necessary, as an aim at least; and they both contain methods for catharsis, release and transformation.

Compare, for example, the methods described in Vajrasattva purification meditations, whereby on imagines pure light moving through one’s body (also imagined as being made entirely of light) and going down ‘nine stories’, feeding all we owe a karmic debt to; then there is the Chod practice, where one offers one’s body, imaginatively transformed into limitless light and nectar, to – whatever opposes one – including those we owe something to, energetically, thereby satisfying them completely; compare this with the active imagination techniques that are used to work out yet unresolved, unfulfilled energy dynamics.

Art and Shadow work

We can see also how reference is made to art in both traditions.

There seems to be an over-arching principle to all systems, whether they are psychological or what we call religious, and that is the innate will to find balance.  We all have this inherent intelligence that will function if we only let it.  Intuitive art can accomplish this effectively.  We all have the inherent ability to know when and where we are out of balance, and to create ways to adjust, to restore wholeness.

The poet Robert Bly spoke of an image or verse in poetry rising up to the surface of consciousness ‘soaked in psychic substance’, and therefore capable or transforming the experience of both the writer and the listener or reader.

And music is long associated with healing and transforming emotional states: Mozart uplifts, and the musics of Beethoven and Bach, to name just two, express in sound the process of transformation: from tragedy, struggle and despair to exaltation, a journey that a listener does in fact participate in.

All this takes humility, however, based on genuine self worth.  Only when we know clearly our own value can we acknowledge our limitations, with the aim of working to improve ourselves.

Apology is then not self-abasement, rather it affirms what is more true and precious in ourselves and in others.

Gold in the shadow

In the shadow, something essential of our humanity is found.

What would we be without that tender heart, that heart that can be crushed?  Where else is understanding born into what it means to be a human being, except in the most difficult stuff of our own lives?  Where else is compassion born?

Just as it is said that we are more than our suffering, we are also more than the sum of our joys, our triumphs, our ideals and aspirations, even more than our potentials.

I recall that Tibetan Buddhist practice involves letting go of our limited self concept (for better and worse, ideas that are somehow resistant to anything else) so that we can then access our deeper potentials.  We’re taught not to deny things, but to ‘hold our concepts loosely’ to allow room for greater possibilities.

Our whole energy, and some of our greatest resources are found in the comprehensive view that includes those part of ourselves, our experience that we’ve deemed unworthy and pushed away, consciously or unconsciously.  Not only is great energy made available from shadow work, but understanding and qualities and virtues to can then become available to live and work throughout our lives.

Relational, familial, and collective shadow work

Perhaps I should say just a very few words about this here: From doing personal work, we can begin to see our relationship to the shadow in others.  In fact our definition of ourself will change as we study and aim to go in a positive direction.

At some point, we can see that we can not remove ourselves, in terms of who we are, from our relationships, from our family and our culture.

Related to this is the whole concept of Field dynamics: energetically, we are not separate.  It’s true also that if one in a group has a repressed desire to act silly, or sad, or angry, another can pick up on that unconsciously and express that energy.  The causes have not been addressed, but for the time being that held back energy finds some release and relief.

At some point, any idea we had of ourself as separate seems to be just that – only an idea with no actual energetic reference in the way things are.  We have to accommodate others in some way.

What then to do with the shadow we, or they experience or express, all the terrible unconscious imbalance that by its nature needs to be taken into account and brought back to a state of

health?  A line from one of Paul’s letter’s comes to mind: Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ.

We may not feel up to this, depending on where we are in our life, what challenges we face and work we ourselves have to do, but I take comfort in one idea I heard factored into a Western practice of prayer.  At a certain point, a person is told to pause and to try to have a sense for what they are given to pray for – a person, or group, a situation, or a cause.  I like this because it feels true.

We don’t have to feel like we have to do everything (which no one person can do anyway)  We are each given a part of the world soul to heal, and if we can do this much, we have fulfilled our purpose righteously on this earth.

Whatever approach we take, when the basis of our suffering is changed, there is no further accumulation, and so nothing more gathered that will need to be released or resolved.  In addition to the provisional methods we use for balance sake in our lives, then we should also be sure to aim to address the underlying causes as much as we can.  Such an intention will surely bear fruit in time.

Jung and Buddhism

When I watch film of Carl Jung, Robert Johnson, and Joseph Campbell, I see what I think are whole human beings, intelligent, compassionate, balanced, integrated, articulate, and with a profound degree of inner freedom.   Buddhism and Jungian psychology have much in common that is worth exploring, and not only for the sake of mutual affirmation, but because, like all useful inter-disciplinary study, the different approaches can be mutually illuminating.

I don’t claim any high degree of accomplishment in Buddhist practice, or any great knowledge of Jung’s methods, but as a student of these things, I can offer a few words about what I see as their strengths and differences.

I suspect that Buddhism, being a contemplative tradition, has an awareness of and active engagement with more subtle levels of functioning, and access to greater resources than are recognized by psychology.  The reason for this is that Buddhism has always included the practice of calm meditation, and this reveals factors that any person without these disciplines, no matter how educated or intuitive, can only be dimly aware of.

Jungian psychology, on the other hand, is what Tibetans would call ‘a close lineage’.  The founder was a brilliant man that lived from the late 19th through much of the 20th centuries.  His learning was boundless, engaged without inhibiting prejudices, and infused with intelligence, intuition and compassion.  Many of his insights are particularly relevant for us today.  His was, and continues to be an immeasurable gift for humanity.